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i feel like im the only one

imsotired

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hi guys,

i don't know if anyone else feels the same but finding out that the person you are attracted to, has a boyfriend and that you'll never be in a relationship with them feels like a breakup.
i feel like people are judging me even when they're not with me-if you get what i mean. i know it's really just self judgement like I'm putting words in their mouth which they haven't actually said.

does anyone else feel this way? hope this all made sense.
 

Jonathan123

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hi guys,

i don't know if anyone else feels the same but finding out that the person you are attracted to, has a boyfriend and that you'll never be in a relationship with them feels like a breakup.
i feel like people are judging me even when they're not with me-if you get what i mean. i know it's really just self judgement like I'm putting words in their mouth which they haven't actually said.

does anyone else feel this way? hope this all made sense.
Yes, it is self judgement. We are so unsure of ourselves that we think everyone is judging us when they are not. In psychology projection is one of the effects that occur when we have problems and tend to transfer them to others to avoid facing them ourselves. It is always 'they' who are at fault. 'They' are causing our problem, when in fact it's how we react that does it. Now this is an unconscious act, so unless we become aware of it we go on doing it. There is no way you can get into the mind of another. What we often see as a happy-go-lucky person is someone who is feeling inferior inside. They put on a persona for others to give a false image. Inside a pushy person that always seems superior, is often a poor little person trying to compensate for how they feel. If someone you are attracted to decides they want to go elsewhere that is something you need to accept and move on. You need to accept it and don't think of yourself as inferior because of it. Many people are indecisive and will move from one friend to another. It has been said that our minds are like a mad monkey, swinging from branch to branch, sampling the fruits but abiding nowhere. Self judgement and mental instability are so common in anxiety. Try not to add fear to fear by beating yourself up.
 

imsotired

Active Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2020
Messages
432
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Yes, it is self judgement. We are so unsure of ourselves that we think everyone is judging us when they are not. In psychology projection is one of the effects that occur when we have problems and tend to transfer them to others to avoid facing them ourselves. It is always 'they' who are at fault. 'They' are causing our problem, when in fact it's how we react that does it. Now this is an unconscious act, so unless we become aware of it we go on doing it. There is no way you can get into the mind of another. What we often see as a happy-go-lucky person is someone who is feeling inferior inside. They put on a persona for others to give a false image. Inside a pushy person that always seems superior, is often a poor little person trying to compensate for how they feel. If someone you are attracted to decides they want to go elsewhere that is something you need to accept and move on. You need to accept it and don't think of yourself as inferior because of it. Many people are indecisive and will move from one friend to another. It has been said that our minds are like a mad monkey, swinging from branch to branch, sampling the fruits but abiding nowhere. Self judgement and mental instability are so common in anxiety. Try not to add fear to fear by beating yourself up.
thankyou this rlly helped :)
 
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