How can I learn to live in the present and not be so anxious about the future?

[Russellmania]

I keep worrying about things that are out of my control. For example, I worry about living a life without my parents. I worry about how I will cope with that. I worry that I will be extremely sad and depressed in the future. I worry about where my career will be, if I will be happy with it. I worry if I will struggle financially. I worry if I will ever get married/have kids. I worry about dying alone. I worry about my family and how they are doing and how they will be.

I mentioned in my previous post that all it took was one trigger about my mom's health concern that jump started my anxious thoughts again.

I want to focus more on the present. I want to enjoy the time I have now with my loved ones. I want to be happy with them now while also being able to look forward to the future instead of being afraid of it.

I have an appointment with my GP in a few days, and I do want to consider therapy, but any advice you can give now to ease/calm my thoughts will be greatly appreciated. I just want to feel like my normal self again.

 

[am6985]

Try to just focus on the moment you are in. I never had anxiety until the last few years. It comes and go. But when I try to focus on the moment I am living it does help. Even if you have to focus on the small details of that moment to help with the anxiety like how the fan feels on your skin or seeing the bubbles in the dishwasher. It’s basically mindfulness but it can help in the moments.
I also recommend therapy. It is great when you find a therapist you click with.


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[AuntieDee]

I keep worrying about things that are out of my control. For example, I worry about living a life without my parents. I worry about how I will cope with that. I worry that I will be extremely sad and depressed in the future. I worry about where my career will be, if I will be happy with it. I worry if I will struggle financially. I worry if I will ever get married/have kids. I worry about dying alone. I worry about my family and how they are doing and how they will be.

I mentioned in my previous post that all it took was one trigger about my mom's health concern that jump started my anxious thoughts again.

I want to focus more on the present. I want to enjoy the time I have now with my loved ones. I want to be happy with them now while also being able to look forward to the future instead of being afraid of it.

I have an appointment with my GP in a few days, and I do want to consider therapy, but any advice you can give now to ease/calm my thoughts will be greatly appreciated. I just want to feel like my normal self again.

I can only suggest some of the strategies that work for me when my brain decides to go anxiety overdrive about the future. Stay in the present, don’t look to far ahead, break it down to whatever time increment distracts yr brain from looking to far ahead. If it’s 5 mins ahead then that’s all it is. Eventually the time will increase, and you can look an hour, a day, a week. I keep my hands and brain busy by doing artwork or crafts, then I will have something playing on my tablet at my work table so that I am distracted from letting my brain wander during the day. At night, if I’m trying to sleep and my brain is wandering where I don’t want it too, as silly as it sounds, I tell myself stories, I make up like fairy tales where it adventures and hero’s etc. then next thing you know yr asleep. Just stay away from topics that feed yr anxiety. Hope this helps.

 

[E.B]

Unfortunately what you describe is exactly what anxiety is all about...fear of the unknown future. When it boils down to it that is what we are worrying about. None the less I'm sure you and your go will make some headway at your appointment.

 

[PieFan]

You are doing well @Russellmania You saw an issue building and you set up resources.

It's not really about having anxiety (or related) disorders, everybody has some serious problems of one kind of another at times in life, it's about living well whatever happens.

I've just had another 6 days without electricity as a hurricane came through less than 2 months after a derecho storm. The general temperature here is around 95 F (35 C) and immediately after the storm a heat advisory was announced warning of the dangers of heat exhaustion. What I noticed is that with discomfort, scrambling to obtain necessities, being present for others at work, daily cold showers, and everyone else on edge too, my nerves were frayed by last night and I slept fitfully all week and was tearful this morning. With an emergency the 'what ifs' become real very quickly, and some of today is about regrouping and setting up for the next storm- including writing a note of what I needed and didn't have, and creating a new supply store (one for me, one for son- he ran out of food and water! Fortunately Amazon is super-efficient here and he could get a next day delivery) BUT MOST OF ALL I will write a note for myself regarding the way my health/emotional state changed during the extra stress and pressure, I'll encourage myself for next time if that makes sense.

Keep going, there are ups and downs but so long as life is generally progressing in the right direction it's accomplishment

 

[Jonathan123]

Mindfulness can be helpful in these situations. What is mindfulness? it is the ability to live in the moment and to concentrate on what we are doing NOW, not what we may do in the future or have done in the past. Of course it may be important to plan ahead in certain circumstances, but once having done that leave it alone and get back to now. If you clean your teeth in the morning, then clean your teeth in your mind also, and don't allow the mind to wander off in all directions like 'what will I have for lunch'. When you eat, eat. No extraneous thoughts about anything else. This takes some mind training, but we can get into the habit of thinking in the now if we practise enough. Like acceptance, it takes time and patience.

 

[Russellmania]

Thanks everyone so much for all your advice. It helps a lot. I've had my good days and bad days since my anxiety was triggered "on" again, but I'm getting through it.