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Holiday

Phil10

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So I’m still struggling with this. Booked a few trains to go on holiday for next year. Changed all them a few times some it costs to change the train. So can get quite expensive my head says can’t be bothered need more time between the holiday or the cost is too high. All sorts of reasons bed bugs or stuff I see on news. My ocd has been notably worse thinking my microwave is contaminated or anything I eat. Could this be having an affect on my decision making? I get myself in a right pickle trying to decide where to go. Booking a holiday becomes a stress. What can I do to relax?
 

Phillies Phan

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I can appreciate your concerns considering the world situation. You’re in Scotland which is like a world away politically from the insanity in parts of Europe and of course the Middle East. Even the USA is scary now. I’m from there but live in Canada. I’m going to see family during the holidays in the US, and I’m certainly going to try to be as inconspicuous as possible.
 

Cuchculan

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If it costs to cancel a train and book another train you are going to end up spending all your money doing this alone. You will have nothing at all to show for the money you have wasted. One of those situations. Maybe cancel everything. Don't book anything else until you know your mind is in a better place. That way you will save yourself from wasting money.
 

Phil10

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If it costs to cancel a train and book another train you are going to end up spending all your money doing this alone. You will have nothing at all to show for the money you have wasted. One of those situations. Maybe cancel everything. Don't book anything else until you know your mind is in a better place. That way you will save yourself from wasting money.
Well where i am now i on holiday this is the one I cancelled due to bed bugs. I managed rebook same price luckily and over came my fear and an at a hotel. Sadly they have opened new Paris football team shop in London but was terrified to buy anything due Paris bed bugs. Good news is i have sort of limited my fear to just Paris. I feel i done well I managed the trains and underground with my anxiety. So good news is i make a choice but takes alot of changing or cancelling to get there i feel better for it. The anxiety never fully won as i plan to head abroad. Maybe it’s small goals and try my best to keep those other bookings for next year? Staying at a hotel was my biggest fear but kept all luggage of beds.
 

Cuchculan

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So you are on holiday now? Got over your fear in a kind of long way round. Which is good. Because at least you done something positive. If I am reading it right, have fun and enjoy yourself.
 

Phil10

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So you are on holiday now? Got over your fear in a kind of long way round. Which is good. Because at least you done something positive. If I am reading it right, have fun and enjoy yourself.
Thanks yes I done a visit to London and Belgium. I managed to overcome the bed bug worry about train seats. I have booked a visit to France. I still have a booking for Paris I cancelled maybe 5 times. I still struggle to fly or use boats. So this still gets it me. Some places in UK i still can’t visit due to anxiety. I know there’s some other people dislike flying choose not to fly. Maybe they care less? I have alot of free time to over think. I know some people can’t afford a holiday so would be glad to do what I do. That said I’m same with my house I tried for a bigger house even though it was out my budget. I don’t ever seem satisfied. I learned to drive years ago and couldn’t pass my test either. Maybe it’s impossible do do everything. I feel I should be able to but as I have got older I seem to do more of what I enjoy less of what I don’t. Not sure if that’s a good thing or me being lazy to challenge myself. Usually it’s anxiety that stops me. But atleast I went this trip .
 

Cuchculan

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Maybe you get fed up with things a lot easier. I used to be always like that. Loads I wanted to do. I would get the chance to do these things and get bored with them after a short time. I would look at the positives of what you are doing. You are taking a few trips to a few places. Bed bugs no longer an issue. That is two things you are doing that you did not want to do a few weeks back. Maybe from there you can learn to do other things. Easy to take the negative out of everything. Harder to take the positive. You are taking positive steps right now. Let us build it from there. Try and enjoy what you are doing right now. That will be step 1.
 

Phil10

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So i change things alot. My issue is my wife is always skint so im bad for switching a 4 nights stay to 2 nights or not going atall. Then as I dont fly most destinations i go are within a day visit. I have visited Milan by rail but these tips cost a fortune by rail and require much more planning. Sometimes that causes more anxiety. So im always thinking do I do more of the same or try something new. But usually it comes down to cost. I have too ideas too maybe that’s a good thing. Im bad for planning too far ahead like six months and then cancelling as i feel too busy. But holidays and gigs sell out or cost more without pre planning.

So yes no easy answer. I find making choices hard. But since i gambled i have been bad at leaving myself as little as £50 to last a month. And my wife’s would buying stuff for house. I wish I could have more clarity. I had a few holidays sat at home this year and felt miserable. I can manage my savings well but I’m bad for leaving myself short for essential stuff.

I could get a high paid job or work long hours and take a plane to America but my anxiety won’t let me. I know it was suggested to hold off holidays to be sure. Maybe that’s a good idea. I don’t really remember pre booking as much in advance before covid maybe odd gig and one holiday. Now I have 4 bookings all flexible. Adds a pressure to my finances as the bookings require extra trains or hotel bills on arrival. People always ask when I’m next on holiday. I have a few nights away in February so I may stick to that as I need to use that booking up. The hotel was paid. But I may need to take each holiday one by one rather than plan. I’m not sure why I can’t plan ahead sometimes I can’t be bothered going when it comes or it’s money worries
 

Phil10

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So I have been feeling stressed about holidays again. I am looking at going abroad 4-5 times but I am annoyed as I wanted go upto 7 times. I am visiting my local city 3 times for a hotel by March too. Sometimes I worry I am too busy but I also feel most weeks I sit in the house. I know others may not get 4 times but in my head I often want to do more than I do. I like to relax alot of time. Maybe I am I am neither too busy and maybe I am just busy enough? Often if I add anymore I stress more. I have cut back on social media this has helped as I feel less pressured to blog in holidays. Lots of train delays and stuff on news puts me off going abroad too.
 
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Cuchculan

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Some people would be happy to go just once. Four to five times is plenty. If you go any more you might get fed up seeing the same old things over and over. Do something else the other few times. Something different.
 
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