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Holiday

Phil10

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I went on holiday for a week this week due back today but I have another booked in 5 weeks abroad same place but I don’t feel like going. Problem is I am anxious and feeling bad if I rearrange or delay to a later date? Usually I tend to give it a little bit if a bigger gap my last one was February before this. I use to manage 4 or 5 per year but right now I don’t feel im enjoying going away that much. I’m trying to understand why but can’t?
 

Cuchculan

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I wish I could afford that many holidays a years. Having said that, I can't even afford one. Maybe there is nowhere left to see. Like you might keep on going to same places. After a while that can become a bit boring. Might need to visit a country you have never visited before. Or it might be the mind thinking about the cost of living. Money might be needed for other more important things. Only you know the real answer. Case of working out what your mind is thinking.
 

Phil10

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Thanks you’re right well I might see this one out and I have another visit next year to somewhere I’ve not been in 5 years. The city I went I have been 8 times now so ur right maybe I am a little bored and need to try somewhere new. Often I book up too many things and don’t want to do it so I am trying t on be more decisive.
 

Phillies Phan

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I always think how exciting it would be to live in Europe like you guys. You’re so close to dozens of different countries, cultures, different foods, etc. I’d take a road trip through France, Germany, maybe up to Denmark and even Sweden and Norway.
 

MATD

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Anxiety tends to dull our ability to enjoy anything. Call it apathy if you will.
 

Jonathan123

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MATD is so right . We find ourselves not wanting to do the things we enjoyed a short time ago. It takes the edge off any pleasure. We need to be careful about apathy setting in. The wish not to do something can become a permanent issue. Forcing ourselves to do things we may not want to do can be counter productive. We may feel disappointed when we don't succeed. The best way, again, is to accept it for the moment. Interest will return for sure given time and acceptance. We get fearful because we fear fear. Crazy, isn't it? But what is logical in anxiety?
I always think how exciting it would be to live in Europe like you guys. You’re so close to dozens of different countries, cultures, different foods, etc. I’d take a road trip through France, Germany, maybe up to Denmark and even Sweden and Norway.
It is strange that we have this desire to see other countries. I live near London, but I have never been to the Tower of London, yet thousands of tourists go there every year. I have been to France, but not for a holiday. It is amazing that two nations with only a strip of water between them can be so far apart. You may not believe this, but there is still distrust between the British and the French. This goes back to the Napoleonic wars. President Macron has shown this distrust on many occasions, especially when we came out of the EU. After WW2 President DeGaull, the first post war French president, made it very obvious that he did not want is in the Common Market. When we once again became an independent sovereign nation I breathed a sigh of relief, but not everyone agrees with me!!:(:(
 
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Phil10

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So I cancelled holiday and rebooked a shorter day visit. I feel bad as I keep chasing refunds up. On my holiday I just went I cancelled day visits 2 times. And I did some garden work a few months ago but cancelled the work. Why do I struggle to make choices right now?
 

MATD

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Anxiety is called the doubting disease for a reason. We become procrastinators, we doubt ourselves and our decisions. It’s all part of the anxiety/depression spectrum of “symptoms”. Anxiety isn’t just about panic attacks or having fear. It is, at it’s deepest level, about self doubt, lack of confidence in ourselves.
 

Phil10

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So I have a modest sized small house mortgage and take odd holiday. Anyway this week I was astounded by people’s comments. A manager said “doesn’t all Europe look the same” the same manager who said in 2019 he would delete me from Facebook for my holiday pictures. And a family member said you have a small living room. Now his living room is a tiny flat and the manager doesn’t seem to take my holidays abroad. Perhaps it’s jealousy? I have worked hard to get where I have got to I could buy a bigger house and have less savings. But I am surprised people can say something when they are in a lesser situation themselves? Or work even more hours than me I work part time. How many others work part time and can afford a mortgage these days. Like I say maybe I am over reacting but peoples opinions shock me. Like my mother says oh this area of my house has some dust yet her house is full of dog poop mats and dirt. I mean for me I wouldn’t criticise someone’s house if I was in a lesser situation myself?
 

Cuchculan

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To hell with others Phil. Live your own life as you see fit to do so. If they want to bitch and moan, so be it. Be the bigger man and just ignore them.
 

Phil10

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Thanks I agree but I find it hard to understand the logic. I always deep think and look for reasons. Like I see people less now since covid anyway. Can’t quite figure what’s changed but peoples attitudes have. I mean I dislike flying for a start so long haul would be a struggle and the cultures may be a struggle outside Europe in some places. I mean these are not new problems that manager I had issues with since before covid. I just think it’s got worse. I try not to let it get me down but it’s hard.
 

Cuchculan

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I know it can be hard to ignore some comments at times. If they are aimed directly at you. I would be looking at who I am friends with on FB. I have deleted many over the years. The ones I have now are all nice friendly people. They all have opinions. But not opinions about people they know well. They wouldn't do stuff like that. Some people just like to hear themselves talk at times. Might come out with all sorts of rubbish. Meaning other people here. Not those I am friends with. Those sorts of people I would not want as friends on FB. If I had them as friends I would get rid of them. So you don't have to read all their comments.
 

loggiemod

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We should enjoy holidays while we can. I hate travel and get very anxious about it but love it when I'm there. If only I could control the travel anxiety it would be great.
 

Otherside

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So I have a modest sized small house mortgage and take odd holiday. Anyway this week I was astounded by people’s comments. A manager said “doesn’t all Europe look the same” the same manager who said in 2019 he would delete me from Facebook for my holiday pictures. And a family member said you have a small living room. Now his living room is a tiny flat and the manager doesn’t seem to take my holidays abroad. Perhaps it’s jealousy? I have worked hard to get where I have got to I could buy a bigger house and have less savings. But I am surprised people can say something when they are in a lesser situation themselves? Or work even more hours than me I work part time. How many others work part time and can afford a mortgage these days. Like I say maybe I am over reacting but peoples opinions shock me. Like my mother says oh this area of my house has some dust yet her house is full of dog poop mats and dirt. I mean for me I wouldn’t criticise someone’s house if I was in a lesser situation myself?
I travel abroad once every few months. I'm a flat-owner. Like you, worked to be where I am.

It's jealousy. People react this way when someone else is able to do something that they cannot do. (And sadly there are less people able to do it these days with inflation being as it is.) There are also some people who cannot comprehend that someone made different choices in life to them which is why I can travel as much as I do (they had two kids, so they can no longer do it. They don't understand why I do not want to have two kids and that it is possible to want to have no kids, and that I am able to travel, because I do not have children.)

And no, Europe does not look all the same, Dubrovnik is completely different to Reykjavik.
 

Phil10

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I use to fly around 2013 and I then stuck to the train and flew in 2018. Anyway I generally dislike flying and boats. I have mostly stuck to trains 90% of the time. I worry I am not challenging myself enough? Is it normal to get comfortable? I have done London to Italy by rail. However I do enjoy Ireland but have not been for a while. I took a short boat ride in Amsterdam this summer but it’s different to being at sea. If I could fly super sonic to America I would have went. As much as I hate flying I hate using toilets or eating plane food so being stuck on a flight for 8 hours is no fun. Some people enjoy cruises when they get older? Often I delay some train trips as Italy Austria Switzerland all take longer to reach by rail. I have been to Belgium now 8 times in past few years. Doing this trips are easy for me. I hear some people hate tunnels though. I feel frustrated as I can’t visit everywhere in the world. I know myself the food would be an issue but I wish America was closer and I could handle a flight or boat to Ireland. There is lots of places in Europe I can go however I can’t satisfy myself. I have found in my 30’s and since covid I do more of what I enjoy rather than what I enjoy less. I go to pubs less I don’t put myself in awkward situations. I worry this is not a good approach as my anxiety tells me it safer to do what I stick to most?
 

Cuchculan

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Your mind is telling you this is the way to stay safe. Putting ideas in your head of what you should and should not do. That happens with anxiety a lot. Make a list of what you really enjoy doing. Now and before Covid. I would assume the things might differ a bit now. It might be time to trust going back out there and doing things your enjoyed doing before Covid.
 

Phil10

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Your mind is telling you this is the way to stay safe. Putting ideas in your head of what you should and should not do. That happens with anxiety a lot. Make a list of what you really enjoy doing. Now and before Covid. I would assume the things might differ a bit now. It might be time to trust going back out there and doing things your enjoyed doing before Covid.
Thanks I do most of what I did pre covid just hate boats and planes. Also I can use the train but it requires more planning which is stressful too. I can go to same places aswell which is fine. Don’t enjoy flying just don’t know if I need to force myself. Some travelling isn’t comfortable before I met my wife I barely left my town.
 

Cuchculan

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Flying would give you more options. More places to go. I know it might be hard on you. Using the toilet with your OCD. All that sort of stuff. Think of all the places you could visit?
 

Phil10

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Flying would give you more options. More places to go. I know it might be hard on you. Using the toilet with your OCD. All that sort of stuff. Think of all the places you could visit?
Yes it would. Only really America or Ireland as I don’t think I could manage the food in other countries to be honest. Problem is I don’t like flying much. I have visited about ten countries most without flying though. Main issue with American is it takes to long. 6 days by boat too.
 

Cuchculan

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What would happen if you needed to use the toilet on a ferry or a train? A ferry might an hour or two. Trains as well can be longer at times. You ever seen these before?

Toilet seat

I am guessing sitting on a toilet seat after others would be a big no go thing for you. Most people like doing it when they need to use a public toilet. Have heard of people trying to put toilet paper all around the seat. Impossible at times. Case of looking for other options.
 
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