Hello, trying to figure out this anxiety

[gallaghd13]

Hello

Back in August I had a full blown panic attack and it kinda rocked my world. I thought I was having a heart attack and really saw myself falling over and dying. Later that day the anxiety subsided and I was able to sleep. The next day I woke up and my wife and I drove home from our little vacation in Milwaukee. I woke up fine, felt fine, and didn't think much of it. A few weeks later I was going back to work and was sitting through a professional development and another panic attack started. Once again I thought I was having a heart attack and the impending doom and disassociation was overwhelming. Later that night I was lying in bed and had another panic attack. Following that incident for a couple of weeks my heart seemed to just pound all the time in my chest and I was extremely self aware of my heart beat. I went to the doctor got checked out, did stress test, echos, etc and everything came back fine. I was also doing some counseling to help me overcome whatever I was going through.

So I have been dealing with this **** since August and it is now January. My heart palpitations are not what they were and I can sleep pretty much every night now. I was taking some xanax to help with the nights I knew I would not be able to sleep. Currently, I have been feeling kinda shitty again. I have this chronic ache in my left side of the chest like on my ribs area and it doesn't seem to leave. I blame it on exercise but it seems just like a persistent annoyance that I cant shake. I don't even know what the hell is going on with me but all I can think about is how this is just me "dying a slow death." I know it's weird but if you have anxiety you understand how your mind plays tricks on you. I am also irritable as hell right now and just want to be alone.

I dont like taking medicine but I am considering taking a long term anti anxiety drug to see if it helps with these physical manifestations of anxiety.

Im just here to talk since my wife doesnt want to hear any of this.

Thank you!

 

[Cuchculan]

First things first. You are not slowly dying. Your mind is simply picking up on every twinge or ache it feels around your body. When you first have a panic attack it can be confusing. You have no idea what is going on. You mind has no idea what is going on. So it tries to make sense of it all. but as it has no real answers, it will come up with its own answers. The whole doom and gloom thing. Think here would be to try and find out why you had that first panic attack? There had to be a reason. Could be stress in your life. Could be a life change going on. Something new happening. Once we can figure that one out we can try and understand it all. Have one panic attack and the mind expects another one. It sits and waits. Thinking this has to happen to again. It nearly always does. Because we expect it to. Finding someone to talk to would be a good start. We have all been there. Therapy of some sort. To make sense of what is going on in your life that is causing you to have panic attacks. The pains can be all normal. Think we have all had them as well. The body is on guard. Trying to protect us from danger. But there is no real danger. The mind has told the body that the panic attack is the danger. Imagine a cat after seeing a dog. Hairs standing up. Up on all four paws. Waiting for something to happen. That is us expecting a panic attack. That can bring on pains. Normal route would be doctor and then therapist. See where it goes from there.

 

[Tg1974]

There is a strong connection between the mind and body. I saw many doctors in the beginning. I thought that I too was dying. It was all just anxiety playing tricks. It tries to prepare you for the fight or flight response even though there is nothing physically there. I would definitely find someone to talk to. Can be a big help.

 

[gallaghd13]

Thanks for the responses it is really helpful. I have been taking CBD oil and avoiding taking any sort of prescription medicines. The CBD oil actually helps a lot believe it or not. I exercise every day and take care of myself by not drinking or smoking. This is a new thing to me and I am basically taking it one day at a time. Some days are better than others but I just want it to go away and go back to who I was before being stricken with this. Does it go away? Or is this something that I have to learn to live with now? I was seeing a counselor but the 150$ per session was a little pricy for me.