Hello!
I'm from Wyoming and for a few years now I've been dealing with a phobia of vomiting. I had it under control for a while but then I started taking my medication after not taking it for a few months and it made me sick to my stomach (at work of all places) and since then my anxiety has evolved and continues to change. I have stomach aches nearly every day that make me have to go to the bathroom urgently, and every time this happens I think that I'm sick even though I'm not. I'm always on high alert for my stomach being even remotely out of wack and make a point to stay near bathrooms when I can help it. This isn't necessary, after my daily stomach ache I'm typically fine for the rest of the day, but my brain thinks I'm sick. I also have mild anxiety attacks that sometimes make it impossible to eat because of the throat tightness. I also always have mint gum with me in case of stomach upset (that never actually happens)
Recently I've started missing class in anticipation of the sickness that never comes, and this is causing my depression to come back. I get upset with myself for leaving things for thinking I won't feel good even if I'm fine, but I feel like I can't help it. I had a panic attack a month or so ago (not the first, but definitely the worst) and luckily my friend was there to help me through it because I don't know what I would've done otherwise.
I just feel alone and like this is never going to end. I'm almost 21, living with my parents while I work on getting my Associates of Arts in Music in May and then transferring to a university to earn a Bachelor's in Music Education. While I'm excited to continue my education, I'm terrified I won't be able to hold a job there with the anxieties I'm experiencing. After my Bachelor's I'm worried I won't be able to become a teacher because I won't be able to work past these feelings.
I'm in counseling and I'm hoping that will begin to help soon, but it feels like it's getting worse.
I don't know what kind of support I'm looking for, I just really don't know what to do anymore. My brain seems to be giving up the fight, and I can't control it.
I'm from Wyoming and for a few years now I've been dealing with a phobia of vomiting. I had it under control for a while but then I started taking my medication after not taking it for a few months and it made me sick to my stomach (at work of all places) and since then my anxiety has evolved and continues to change. I have stomach aches nearly every day that make me have to go to the bathroom urgently, and every time this happens I think that I'm sick even though I'm not. I'm always on high alert for my stomach being even remotely out of wack and make a point to stay near bathrooms when I can help it. This isn't necessary, after my daily stomach ache I'm typically fine for the rest of the day, but my brain thinks I'm sick. I also have mild anxiety attacks that sometimes make it impossible to eat because of the throat tightness. I also always have mint gum with me in case of stomach upset (that never actually happens)
Recently I've started missing class in anticipation of the sickness that never comes, and this is causing my depression to come back. I get upset with myself for leaving things for thinking I won't feel good even if I'm fine, but I feel like I can't help it. I had a panic attack a month or so ago (not the first, but definitely the worst) and luckily my friend was there to help me through it because I don't know what I would've done otherwise.
I just feel alone and like this is never going to end. I'm almost 21, living with my parents while I work on getting my Associates of Arts in Music in May and then transferring to a university to earn a Bachelor's in Music Education. While I'm excited to continue my education, I'm terrified I won't be able to hold a job there with the anxieties I'm experiencing. After my Bachelor's I'm worried I won't be able to become a teacher because I won't be able to work past these feelings.
I'm in counseling and I'm hoping that will begin to help soon, but it feels like it's getting worse.
I don't know what kind of support I'm looking for, I just really don't know what to do anymore. My brain seems to be giving up the fight, and I can't control it.
