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getting better

imsotired

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hi guys,
today i walked down to my peaceful place to journal about something that i have been struggling with. mentioned in previous threads i think its the one before this and the one after.

i have nearly solved the problem but the thought still gets to me at times. I can accept the fact that she is not here with my rn and one day i can meet her. the thought isn't strong in my mind but i can't accept the fact that she could get a boyfriend which will be hard on me as i have intense feelings when i love something or someone so much. which it will take me like a few days to get over.

i have deleted everything that reminds me of her.

i also took a break from her like UN followed her on instagram but going to follow her back when i am ready.

but my question is does anyone else experience intense feelings ?

my illogical mind is telling me that i can't accept the fact that we cant be together lol
 

Cuchculan

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Best thing you can do. She is never going to have the same feelings you had for her. That was just something you wished for. Not something that was ever going to happen. I do be on you tube. Love watching certain types of videos. May leave a comment or two and get a debate started. Mainly on music videos. But what we have to accept when using the net is that most people are out of reach. Unless you try a dating site. Might meet a person there who is within reach. But these people who class themselves as internet stars ( I have other names for them LOL ) are looking for all the attention they can get. Lot of them have set up accounts were people actually send them money to react to things for them. That is their whole thing. Getting things for nothing. Sadly it works for a lot of them. Clothing comapnies might send them things to wear. Gaming companies might send them games to play. Guess they see themselves as more important than I would see them. But that is what they do and what they want. Everything for nothing. We had one of these people ask for a free stay in an Irish hotel a few years ago. The owner told her to get lost and pay her way like everybody else. It was a big story over here at the time. As the hotel owner brought her back down to earth with a bump. He became more well known than she did. She said if he refused to give her the free stay she would tell others not to visit his hotel on Istragram. The pleasure in seen him telling her to go F off and grow up and stop scrounging off people. That is what these people do. Give me things for free or I will say bad things about you on social media. They just love to have as many followers as possible. I would not even say they care about all their followers. Just makes them feel like they are somebody. Really they are nobody.
 

imsotired

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Best thing you can do. She is never going to have the same feelings you had for her. That was just something you wished for. Not something that was ever going to happen. I do be on you tube. Love watching certain types of videos. May leave a comment or two and get a debate started. Mainly on music videos. But what we have to accept when using the net is that most people are out of reach. Unless you try a dating site. Might meet a person there who is within reach. But these people who class themselves as internet stars ( I have other names for them LOL ) are looking for all the attention they can get. Lot of them have set up accounts were people actually send them money to react to things for them. That is their whole thing. Getting things for nothing. Sadly it works for a lot of them. Clothing comapnies might send them things to wear. Gaming companies might send them games to play. Guess they see themselves as more important than I would see them. But that is what they do and what they want. Everything for nothing. We had one of these people ask for a free stay in an Irish hotel a few years ago. The owner told her to get lost and pay her way like everybody else. It was a big story over here at the time. As the hotel owner brought her back down to earth with a bump. He became more well known than she did. She said if he refused to give her the free stay she would tell others not to visit his hotel on Istragram. The pleasure in seen him telling her to go F off and grow up and stop scrounging off people. That is what these people do. Give me things for free or I will say bad things about you on social media. They just love to have as many followers as possible. I would not even say they care about all their followers. Just makes them feel like they are somebody. Really they are nobody.
ok thankyou
i just want her to notice me but now i have moved on from her i decide to take a break. i deleted all the videos i had of her. i can comment on her videos to come to my home town Sydney Australia obviously when covid is over. and also other related comments as well.
i dont scrool through her instagram fee anymore as it makes me feel depressed lol. thnks for the comment. also what i find helps is to write a letter to her (but not actually sen it to her). the sad thing is that this is all one sided but my feelings are still valid.
 

smilingsoul

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Yes, your feelings are absolutely valid. I think writing letters you never send is an excellent technique (don't send them!) because it helps you lay your thoughts out in a coherent way, rather than leaving them tangled in your head. Sometimes when I do that, I actually see the error in my thinking that lead me down an unproductive path. The only person other than you who should read them though is your therapist if they think it would be useful. This is for you, and about you. I came across some old letters to myself a few months back, and even I didn't re-read them. That was then; this is now.
 
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