fun monsters

[Rue]

epi haven't been on in a while because my mental health, at least the anxiety side of things, has been a lot better, but it's been starting to get worse again. at least from what i read on the forum, it seems like what most people are worried about are schoolwork, work, life, possible catastrophies and stuff that's caused by anxiety, but my anxiety is so that it convinces me to do a million of things at once in case there are monsters or other types of scary things. i really don't know anyone else who's anxiety is similar to mine and in such a severe way, but it impairs my ability to function.

i don't know if it's because it's my first time taking a shower 1. without my mom home 2. in my own bathroom(i showered in the lockeroom at swimming) but i started to get really bad anxiety about monsters and clowns and murderers again. and it's multiple layers of things. like someone's outside of my shower curtain, my bathroom door, so i should unlock the door so i feel better, but if i unlock it, then something could get in easier, but if i stop my shower something could get me outside of my shower, but if i stay in my shower, somethings gonna kill me, the water pipe is gonna start spouting blood, so on and so forth. i love my brain

i hate being like this because no matter how much i tell myself it's fake, monsters don't exist, etc, i feel like i understand that but i can't internalize it, so i still get really bad nervousness from it.

are there any foolproof methods to help my anxiety? and i don't mean the usual "tell yourself you'll get through it" type of thing because multiple counselors and therapists have all told me that and it barely helps. also, i'm thinking about starting therapy again soon.

at least it's hasn't been impacting my sleep as much. before, i would have to stay up for nearly the entire night to exhaust myself until i fell asleep, but recently high school has dragged me out to the point where i can relax anywhere that doesn't remind me of inverse of relations and functions, genetic mutations and rna, or the communist era of china.

last bit, i want to get tested for adhd because a therapist recommended it and said that it might be contributing to the whole awful thought process thing. but to get medicine and stuff for it, i need teacher's letters. how should i approach my teachers about this, especially since i've never talked to my teachers this trimester about mental health stuff. i'm thinking of either algebra 2, bio, or social science, because they're are my academic classes this trimester(i have creative writing and pe) but i'm not that close with any of those teachers.

thanks,
rue

 

[Kelculator]

Hmm... Perhaps you are having anxiety while showering becuase it is an umfiliar place for you? And that your mom isn't there in case things were to happen? I usually get more anxious when I'm alone. Maybe give it a couple more tries? If it's really affecting you or doesn't seem to improve, maybe you can try opening a creak at the door, playing music through your phone while showring etc. to help you feel less anxious, and then cut down at the methods/tools as you get more relaxed.
I also think that your anxiety might be getting worse becuase of stress from school. High shool can be so tough, I know. And when we anxious people are stressed, the anxiety of one thing (e.g. academic result) can be projected onto other things as well, which might make you more anxious of other things.
I'm sorry you can goign through this, I hope things get better for you soon... And don't worry about the not being able to convince yourself thing, most of the time I can't help it either.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Hey there - Wow, that sounds really really scary, @Rue . Whether the monsters are real or not, I know they must FEEL real and be really terrifying. I think getting back into therapy would be good for you, even if it's just to talk to someone about it all. It sounds like something has helped you in the past if you've been doing better - do you know what it was?

You mentioned ADHD - my son has ADHD, though he's still very young so the situation is a little different. I don't know where you live, but to get him tested, we got a recommendation from the school counselor of different testing centers. If you have a counselor (or possibly a principal, adminsitrator if not), they should be able to give you some guidance. From there, we just went to a testing center, and they provided all of the forms and things we needed for the teachers. The teachers filled out some information, and we filled some out as parents. After that, we were able to take the test results to doctors, therapists, teachers, etc. and work on a plan for helping him out. So I would start by talking with a school counselor and letting them know what's going on with you, and see if they could help you! Also, if you're still living at home, can you talk to your mom/dad/parents about it? How is your relationship with them?

Good luck to you! We all have crazy thoughts sometimes, so give yourself some grace - hang in there!