Freaking out

[LC286]

Need some help.. I'm freaking out bad this morning!. I have a huge (and I mean HUGE) fear of developing schizophrenia.. and lately I've been getting random words popping into my head when I'm not really busy doing anything.. they will be just random words! Like I'll be cleaning and all of a sudden I'll think "pizza" or something like that.. I also get images as I fall asleep sometimes.. Last night as I was falling asleep all of a sudden I pictured my grandma's backyard. And then the other night I felt awake but I had a quick dream.. it woke me up (even thought I thought I was still awake) and I immediately started freaking out.. Of course I do the worst thing that I can and look these things up and come across how they are called "mind pops" and that they are more common in schizophrenia. But what I read it is exactly what I seem to experience..

I've seen numerous doctors and therapists and I've never once been told I have schizophrenia. They have all known of my fear of it but they insist it is only very severe anxiety.. I don't hallucinate but I do get horrible intrusive thoughts and I what if all the time.. like what if I'm really hearing voices and they're not thoughts? Or what if I really am schizophrenic and don't know it? I will see something about schizophrenia and it's like I'll tease myself and pretend it's happening and scare myself even more. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but this mind pop thing has me freaking out today BAD

Idk what to do now.. I've been in a panic attack all morning.. Please help!!

 

[stevet]

Hello LC286:

It simply seems as though you’re clearly describing obsessive worrying and totally nothing to do with schizophrenia. Seek and find comfort in knowing this cycle of worrying will pass and you’ll be able to look back and see that you made it through. Take baby steps forward, whatever those may be that have worked for you thus far, and try not to look back.


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[Masonm7700]

Need some help.. I'm freaking out bad this morning!. I have a huge (and I mean HUGE) fear of developing schizophrenia.. and lately I've been getting random words popping into my head when I'm not really busy doing anything.. they will be just random words! Like I'll be cleaning and all of a sudden I'll think "pizza" or something like that.. I also get images as I fall asleep sometimes.. Last night as I was falling asleep all of a sudden I pictured my grandma's backyard. And then the other night I felt awake but I had a quick dream.. it woke me up (even thought I thought I was still awake) and I immediately started freaking out.. Of course I do the worst thing that I can and look these things up and come across how they are called "mind pops" and that they are more common in schizophrenia. But what I read it is exactly what I seem to experience..

I've seen numerous doctors and therapists and I've never once been told I have schizophrenia. They have all known of my fear of it but they insist it is only very severe anxiety.. I don't hallucinate but I do get horrible intrusive thoughts and I what if all the time.. like what if I'm really hearing voices and they're not thoughts? Or what if I really am schizophrenic and don't know it? I will see something about schizophrenia and it's like I'll tease myself and pretend it's happening and scare myself even more. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but this mind pop thing has me freaking out today BAD

Idk what to do now.. I've been in a panic attack all morning.. Please help!!

I have a couple different anxiety disorders that are severe and I am also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Sounds to me like you are just experiencing anxiety, googling symptoms can’t even begin to diagnose a mental disorder and will make your anxiety worse. Doctors who are trained to diagnose would have to consider many more things and would still be cautious simply because diagnosing mental illness is so tricky and even if you were a trained professional there are so many reasons that you can’t diagnose yourself, our minds have funny ways of convincing us things especially when we have anxiety. And, intrusive thoughts usually go along with OCD, which is an anxiety disorder. Doesn’t mean that you have OCD necessarily but you do seem to be experiencing anxiety in my opinion. Many people have a fear of either going crazy or developing schizophrenia, it’s actually probably a lot more common than u think.


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[FinneousRex]

How old are you and what is your gender?

 

[Squid Jones]

I have random things pop into my mind all the time. And I wish the strangest of them was the word "pizza."

Not to dismiss what you're going through but just saying what you're describing seems pretty mundane. Everybody has random thoughts pop in and out of their minds. Everybody has images materialize in their minds when they're laying in bed at night. So experiencing those things isn't a problem. The problem is you're assigning significance to those things. So you gotta think less about the things in your mind and more about why you think those things should matter.

 

[LC286]

Thank you so much everybody for your replies. This anxiety is just wearing me out . I can't seem to not fear it being something more than anxiety no matter how hard I try.. even though ive been told by countless doctors and therapists that it's only anxiety.. I think the worst part is I've done far too much research so the symptoms of schizophrenia or psychosis I've seen I almost make myself have them.. I do know I'm doing it but it just feels so real.. I hate how your mind can play tricks on you..

I do go to therapy and I have an appt. with a psychiatrist on the 18th if this month to discuss meds.. I'm not big on going on meds but it's gotten to the point where I think I need to . I definitely do give my anxiety WAY more attention than I should.. i admit that. I think I'm just so afraid of it happening that I associate every symptom with me going crazy.. even something as simple as me being irritable.. it's definitely taken over my life.. but I'm hoping this appt. to talk about meds goes well.. I was on meds for a short time last year and they made my symptoms worse so I wasn't on them long.. and I haven't been on them since. But thank you again for your help! I was anxious all day yesterday and all while I was asleep last night and it's pretty bad again this morning.. it's just draining me.. but I keep pushing through it!. You guys have helped me to know it is only anxiety playing tricks on me.. now I just gotta keep remembering that when i get scared..

Also, FinneousRex: I am a female and I'm 37 (about to be 38)

 

[Pandanae]

Need some help.. I'm freaking out bad this morning!. I have a huge (and I mean HUGE) fear of developing schizophrenia.. and lately I've been getting random words popping into my head when I'm not really busy doing anything.. they will be just random words! Like I'll be cleaning and all of a sudden I'll think "pizza" or something like that.. I also get images as I fall asleep sometimes.. Last night as I was falling asleep all of a sudden I pictured my grandma's backyard. And then the other night I felt awake but I had a quick dream.. it woke me up (even thought I thought I was still awake) and I immediately started freaking out.. Of course I do the worst thing that I can and look these things up and come across how they are called "mind pops" and that they are more common in schizophrenia. But what I read it is exactly what I seem to experience..

I've seen numerous doctors and therapists and I've never once been told I have schizophrenia. They have all known of my fear of it but they insist it is only very severe anxiety.. I don't hallucinate but I do get horrible intrusive thoughts and I what if all the time.. like what if I'm really hearing voices and they're not thoughts? Or what if I really am schizophrenic and don't know it? I will see something about schizophrenia and it's like I'll tease myself and pretend it's happening and scare myself even more. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but this mind pop thing has me freaking out today BAD

Idk what to do now.. I've been in a panic attack all morning.. Please help!!

I've gotten mind pops...and thought the same thing you did. It's because your tired..to be honest. If your anxiety is super high a long time and you spend a long time trying to clam yourself down...that's when it gets worse. Least for me. It scared me too...just try to remember it's just you being anxious...what can help is reading a book...getting engaged in a conversation with a friend...anything that keeps your mind focused ..