Feeling pathetic and useless

[samstersrocker_92]

Hi everyone. I'm 26 years old and I think I've had anxiety or some form of it since I was a child. It's gotten worse as I aged. I fear talking to or being around people. I also have a stutter and sweaty hands. They both get worse whenever I'm near people. I also get a gassy feeling and my stomach starts to make sounds. It's really embarrassing. I haven't finished college because of it and I'm currently not working. I feel I need a job where I dont have to talk on the phone (cuz my stutter activates horribly) and where I dont deal with the public. Since that's hard to come by and with just a high school degree I haven't been working for 2 months now. I'm always in bed and dont like going out even with family. I feel my husband deserves someone better than me. Im just tired of dealing with this and feeling this. Nobody knows about my issues except my husband and I dont know what to do.

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[Cuchculan]

For what it is worth I always used to trip over my own words. Take me ages to say what I wanted to say. For so long it wasn't nice at all. On the phone I was brutal. But then I began to tell myself there is no rush at all. I saw that as my main issue. I wanted to get the words out as quickly as possible. So I began to slow myself down. So what if I made people wait. This was me taken charge of the situation. Yes I might still stutter from time to time. But overall it worked. The slower I went the more clearer my speaking became. At times I even took a step backwards. To compose myself. I told myself it was not a race to get the words out. It did work. As for the phone? I told myself I didn't even have to look at the person on the other end of the line. Used to joke about it. I could be sitting naked for all they knew. Again I slowed myself down. That helped big time. It takes a practice. It can be done.

As for the stomach sounds? My stomach used to sound like WWII was happening inside of it. Maybe try an ant-acid or something like that. Sounds more peptic than anything else. If it was gassy you would be farting away. Hope you can find an answer.

 

[Whynot_678]

Hello, I’m not diagnosed with social anxiety but I have a lot of the symptoms. Every time I go out to public I always believe people are simply judging me by only looking at me. When I walk into a gas station to buy a snack for the road I feel like people call me fat or disgusting. I fear a lot of ideas rather solid or things that can actually chase you. I have thanatophobia; the fear of death. And, the fear of being rejected. My love life is very great because we both care and love each other but I feel like they are cheating on me or blabbing to they’re friends about how pathetic and gullible I am. I never talk about this to anyone. Heck my arm is shaking while I’m typing. I’m so glad I found this so I can talk about this to someone who is going through the same thing. I feel like I can never tell my parents because the last time I said I thought I have social anxiety they said that everyone goes through it or its just a phase. And I felt hurt and untrusted, now I feel like I can’t talk to them about anything. They say I can talk to them about every little problem but I don’t because of that.

 

[samstersrocker_92]

It's bittersweet to hear I'm not alone cuz I wouldn't wish this on anybody. I also haven't been diagnosed but I just know something is wrong with me because I can't function like a normal adult. I mean I could fake it like I always have but it takes a toll on me. For example, I may come off as personable in person but then I'll stutter or have a panic attack feeling and we'll laugh it off (whoever I'm with) but then I'll go home wanting to disappear from life. It used to be cute and I could get away with my shy personality when I was younger but I'm getting older and it's just embarrassing. I have a strained relationship with my dad so good riddance to him and my mom is a good mom but we're not emotionally super close so I never told her especially cuz I come off as a "tough girl" in my family. My husband and I love and care for each other as well. He knows about my problems and tries to make me feel better (bless his heart) but hes doesn't know anything about it. I also have irrational thoughts and jealousy/anger issues and I just feel horrible about it. How do u function in life?? Do u work? I feel hopeless

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[MonteMonte]

I don't know much about social anxiety (Mine is generalized) but I just want to say that you're not pathetic and you're not useless. You are more than anxiety and you're worth more than it too. Have you tried therapy or anything about it?

 

[samstersrocker_92]

Thank you for those kind words I got teary eyed reading it. Unfortunately, no I haven't seeked professional help at all. I know any kind of help would probably benefit me at this point but I dont know where to begin or who to tell to gain affordable help. Should I make an appointment with a regular doctor? I feel dumb not knowing.

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[MonteMonte]

Thank you for those kind words I got teary eyed reading it. Unfortunately, no I haven't seeked professional help at all. I know any kind of help would probably benefit me at this point but I dont know where to begin or who to tell to gain affordable help. Should I make an appointment with a regular doctor? I feel dumb not knowing.

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You're welcome!
Well, I started on a psychologist and she recommended me a psychiatrist but that's just my experience. I guess talking to any professional would be a step forward and the doctor can help you nd recommend another professional that would be right for you.
I think the important part is that you by being here is already looking for help. That is the first step.

 

[Tigerfloat]

Dear samstersrocker, I have a bit of social anxiety as well and I can recognize myself in your words with trying to put on a brave façade. I agree with MonteMonte that talking about this with a therapist might be the next step after joining the forum. I don't know where you're from, but I would talk to my family doctor about options, especially cheaper options if money is an issue.

 

[Whynot_678]

I agree with you Tigerfloat, but I also think you should talk with someone who has had experience with a therapist because they might know more about options then someone who doesn’t.

 

[Esca]

Iv read all this nd I want to help but my memory lasts for 5sec XD my doctor says its linked to my emotional state.the only physical effect of social anxiety I have is shaking,not anymore tho. From my experience it stopped from exposing my self to it many times and not minding it, I even shook my body harder it's a mind game and it works. I think quitting your education is extreme you need to see a doctor and I wish you all the best

 

[TDS74]

Hi everyone. I'm 26 years old and I think I've had anxiety or some form of it since I was a child. It's gotten worse as I aged. I fear talking to or being around people. I also have a stutter and sweaty hands. They both get worse whenever I'm near people. I also get a gassy feeling and my stomach starts to make sounds. It's really embarrassing. I haven't finished college because of it and I'm currently not working. I feel I need a job where I dont have to talk on the phone (cuz my stutter activates horribly) and where I dont deal with the public. Since that's hard to come by and with just a high school degree I haven't been working for 2 months now. I'm always in bed and dont like going out even with family. I feel my husband deserves someone better than me. Im just tired of dealing with this and feeling this. Nobody knows about my issues except my husband and I dont know what to do.

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I hope by now you have reached out for help and are feeling better !