Feeling lonely

[Howlingvapor]

I’m still working on moving on. I’ve made it through the severe depression for the most part and I’ve started thinking more positively and reaching out. I’m still making progress and finding my way out of this dark place. However, I’m finding myself in a position in which there’s no one to talk to right now. I’ve messaged my friend, but I think he’s busy. I’m away from my family and all I have are myself and my thoughts. I keep hoping to get a match on tinder or something just so I have someone to talk to.

I’m bored really, don’t know where I’m at emotionally. I’m wrestling with the idea of staying single. My therapist mentioned that I’m probably not in a good place in life for a relationship, between school and work and everything else I’m dealing with. It’s kinda hard to not keep searching though. I’ve come to terms with the fact that being single isn’t that bad in fact it has a lot of opportunities for self discovery and improvement. I don’t need a relationship to be happy, but there’s just something about sharing your life with someone you love that I just can’t get enough of. Being loved by someone is just such an amazing feeling.

My anxiety has been a lot more intense since the depression started to fade. Now that I actually care about connecting with people I’m constantly thinking about what others think of me. I’m talking to people more which is good, but I keep stressing about saying the wrong thing or coming off as weird. Today’s been rough in that regard, just awkward situation after awkward situation with friends and strangers.

I feel alone and scared, but not depressed luckily, which is I guess a step in the right direction, but I don’t know. It was times like this that a relationship always came in handy. When everyone else in my life was gone, busy, or annoyed by me I always had her, but now I don’t and that’s ok, but it would be nice to have that again with someone that actually cares about me.

Romance was something I never had a knack for. I never really went on dates or flirted. I was never smooth or adventurous. I just always fell in love by chance. I don’t know how to function in the dating world. I’m awkward and too afraid to make the first move. I just don’t know exactly how I’m going to find someone or if something’s wrong with me.

Again it’s not that I need a relationship to be happy. It’s just nice to be in one and hard for me get into one. People say that there’s always plenty of fish in the sea, but I’m bad at fishing. I’m impatient and too cautious, and the only time I find a girl is by sheer chance. So its hard for me to feel confident when I tell myself I’ll find someone someday.

Does anyone else experience this feeling? Can I still find a happy relationship the way I am awkwardness and all or do I have to change?


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[Cuchculan]

I think been alone is something we can all relate to. Have no idea when the last time I was involved was. No relationships worth mentioning. Think I always looked at myself and asked myself ' What have I got to offer anybody '. By that I mean I don't exactly go any places. More do what I do in my own time and by myself. For me that works fine. More because I have long stopped caring about things I might be missing out on. Guess I am simply concerned about looking after myself. If I learn how to do that, then I will ask myself ' could I look after somebody else as well '. That is what getting involved is all about. Two people in a relationship. Not just me. So for now I accept I would not be able for anything like that. Are you ready for a relationship? That can be the big question. Few dates on Tinder might be good. See how you go with them. Give you a better insight into if you are really ready for the whole dating game. Also check out your local area. Night be a few groups you never knew existed. Hobby type groups. You might have something you like doing. By joining such a group you will meet others with the same interests as yourself. No point diving straight in if you are not 100% ready. One step at a time will still get you there come the end of the day.

 

[Wanting to get better]

I’m lonely too. I hope you find connection

 

[triceps]

I don't feel lonely in the typical definition. Like @Cuchculan said, I've leaned it is more important to concentrate on holding yourself together than seeking out more relationships. I always told my kids that they will only have 2-3 "true" friends in life when they'd get bent out of shape over their "friends" in high school. But I do feel lonely in that very few have even a remote understanding of what life is like with an anxiety disorder. My wife is so supportive but in terms of actually understanding, you have to have anxiety/depression yourself to have a clue. That is why this forum is such a good resource for me.