Fear of nausea at night / in public places

[sc@redysquirrel]

Hello everyone in 2021,

Tl;dr: I've been having issues with fear for nausea in public places and sometimes at night. I'm too tired at night to distract myself yet can't sleep because of it. Hope to get a few insights from people that experience the same (or similar) thing.

It's been an anxious year for many here and elsewhere I can imagine. For me, my (undiagnosed) anxiety originates on the tennis court .
I was 12 and people had expectations I couldn't meet, I got sick on court (literally) and slowly developed an anxiety for being sick in public places since.
It's peak was around freshman year of college (about 4 years ago), when I had trouble attending lectures and taking exams because of it .

I managed, mostly by myself, to move past the immediate fear, give presentations again, play tennis matches with joy again.
Part of my coping process was the thought that there is always a way out, part was not avoiding the situations I dreaded. That only makes it worse. But still, confronting the situations I fear can be super tough; I try to be in the present and breathe, but there is this strong sense of unease that doesn't let go of me .

Worst is when it happens at night (e.g. yesterday, it caught me completely off-guard). What I need is distraction, doing anything but thinking, but it's 4am and my eyes are literally falling shut. But the moment that happens, I get this shock of fear accompanied by the urge to run to the restroom... I've had nights where I'm shivering with fear, not being able to go to sleep but way too tired to distract myself with anything substantial. I empty my stomach several times until nothing comes out, but that spark of fear keeps on sending me there. I wouldn't wish it to anyone..

My hope on this forum is that I get a few insights from other people experiencing this; what are your coping tactics?

All the best, stay strong

M

 

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. At night I always have a radio on. Not high volume. Just very low. That always works well for me. I can listen to the radio and let my mind drift off to sleep.

When I am out I also use music were I can. MP3 player. Helps me to focus. I know at times it can seem like there is no way out of this mess we call anxiety. there is always an answer. We just have to look around and see if we can find something that works for us. other things that can work is small objects in your pocket. Only you know the object is there. Could be a small stone. A sea shell. Anything. Something you can get your hands on easily enough. That can be another distraction. The weight of it. The feel of it. Just turning it over and over in your hand. Whatever works.

Night can be the worst time. Is dark. Quiet. The mind can begin to wander. Even that low music in the background. Something to focus on.

 

[sc@redysquirrel]

Thank you so much for your reply. I’ve not thought of a small totem like that before, I’ll be sure to give it a try! Music and binaural beats helped me in the past, so I’ll try and use those as well.

Sometimes I’m just feeling more than overwhelmed by all of this... I’ve had these panic attacks on and off since I was 17, and although I have been able to live my life with them, sometimes I just wish they would not come back anymore...

Your comment is very kind and felt, thanks again