Fear of getting arrested when I haven't done anything!!!!

[Shweepea]

So.... Very recently.... I have developed this irrational fear of police officers and going to jail. I haven't done anything illegal! There was one incident I got pulled over.... I don't have a license, but I was an idiot and decided to drive for my friend who was exhausted and was afraid to drive. The office seemed to be a nice person and I only got a ticket. I felt so lucky considering I have heard you could possibly go to jail for not having a license... Yeah, I don't dare drive anymore until I get a license!

But now, I'll be like, laying in bed minding my own business, or even going for a walk, and the thoughts pop in my head "I'm going to jail... They are going to arrest me and I'm going to be in trouble.... They are going to knock on my door and get me.... My boss knows something I don't and that's how the cops are gonna get me" etc etc. Again.... I abide by the laws.. so what the crap? One time this fear got so bad, I looked up to see if there was an arrest warrant out for me...
My boyfriend's dad is a cop, and he intimidates me sooooo much. Could this have anything to do with that maybe?
Anyone else get this way? Examples and stories would be helpful.

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[Alex]

I think the police have a bad image at times, and you know they have power so you are afraid even with no reason. The thing is these days they have much stricter guidelines so they can only approach you with reasonable cause, however, if you look like someone they are looking for that can be a problem.

Where my parents live they have recently done away with the local police station and it's bad, because people know there is no police presence there have been more robberies and break ins. I feel they can act as a deterrent, and you shouldn't be afraid, but with all the media stories I can see why you maybe depending on your area.

If you haven't done anything wrong, you have nothing to fear. Maybe it's a fear of authority and their powers? Maybe chat to your friends dad and that will help. They are normal people.

 

[janemariesayed]

It certainly seems like your boyfriend's dad is scaring you. Just treat what he does as a joke. Laugh with him when he teases you and don't let it get to you. You haven't done anything wrong and you can rest easy when you sleep.

 

[Hope Matthew1128]

I think your kind of fear-of-getting-arrested because of what you did for your friend is a healthy fear. Meaning, and as you have decided to do, is you will never drive again until you get your driver's license. Or not do anything foolish and illegal. Good fear. Stay doing the right and good thing in your community.

 

[Robert Turner]

Why don't you approach your boyfriends dad and ask him if you can go in to work with him one day to see what it is that he does.
I know you are scared of him but trust me when I tell you that confronting your fear is the best way to deal with it

It will also show him that you are genuinely interested in him and what he does and that will go a long way to smoothing things between the two of you.

 

[gkillian]

It is fairly healthy to have some fear of breaking the law, as Hope alludes to, but this is pretty clearly a problem because a resolved incident - which Schweepea will presumably not be repeating anytime soon! - is having a severe impact on day-to-day functioning.

I've been known to feel like this too, and I think the most important thing to remember is generally they don't want to put you in jail unless you've done something pretty egregious. If you aren't trafficking drugs or hiding bodies, the worst you'll probably get is a ticket or fine. It's hard to tell yourself that in the moment though.

Assuming the friction with your boyfriend's dad is a factor, I agree with Robert - that might be a good way to face the fear. The police are just people, for the most part.

 

[Robert Turner]

Hi @Shweepea
I was wondering what you had decided to do. If you do decide to ask your boyfriends dad to go in with him and he agrees, please let us know how you got on?