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Dreams About Your Abuser(s)

HappyKoi

Junior Member
Thread starter #1
Does anyone still get dreams, even years later, about your abusers or the situation you were in?  I still have dreams about my abuser, years later.  In my dreams he either verbally or physically attacks me and, even though I sometimes try to fight back, it doesn't do any good.  I try to tell people in my dream about it, but no one believes me or they say I deserve it.  I try to run away but he always finds me.  I usually wake up from these dreams either shaking, sobbing, or sometimes both.  Does anyone else have dreams like these where they feel helpless and relive those awful feelings all over again?
 
#2
Many of my flashbacks are in dreams. I've been struggling with this for about a decade. Sometimes I am just looking in on the things that are happening and then other times I am right back in the middle of the abuse, but I'm my adult self trying to stop or fight off my abusers. Sometimes they have no clear body or face because I was trafficked as a young child. Those dreams are the worst. Then, sometimes the flashbacks will blend into my normal dreams after a while and it just gets really wonky. You are totally not alone in this.
 

sidney

Junior Member
#3
No, I don't dream about my abusers even if I'm still being abused in real life, unfortunately. But I think that aside from that perhaps being flashbacks, maybe your subconscious mind is trying to send you a message. Try deciphering the things, feelings and symbols that you see in your dream using www.dreammoods.com and see if you can relate to the dream interpretation.
 
#4
I used to dream about the situation constantly just after I left, but thankfully, the dreams are now few and far between. I do occasionally get a flash of memory when I'm awake, though, particularly when something consciously or subconsciously reminds me either of him, of that time frame, or of the situation. Even just a normal conversation can bring up reminders. I was discussing a tropical storm with someone the other day, and had a flash of memory from that time period of something my abuser did, and it was enough to make me a little sick to my stomach. 
 
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#5
Dreams are a very common occurrence in PTSD. Sidney, I hate to hear that you are still being abused. I hope that this is a situation you can remove yourself from soon. 
 
#6
My childhood abuse wasn't too extreme, fortunately, and I mostly just realized how much I had to put up with when I got older, so the effect on me was probably not deeply rooted in that way. I see most of the effects of it in my behavior more so than my memories, so when I dream of negative things it's mostly about the way I act and the way people act towards me being in a way that I dislike rather than my abusers appearing specifically in the scenario. 
 
#7
I agree with @Peachdejour, I hope you're able to extricate yourself from that situation soon @sidney. 


@Peachdujour it sounds as if you've made remarkable progress. I can't imagine going through that. It disgusts me that there's even such a thing as trafficking in humans. I honestly don't know how people can look at other people as belongings, but apparently many don't have a problem with it. I wish more people were aware of how prevalent the situation is. I live near Houston, which is a hub for human trafficking, as well as drug trafficking. A local restaurant I go to sometimes has a sign about human trafficking on their front door, and a local church has a stack of business cards with information about human trafficking. I took some last time I was there, and spread them at various places I went. 


I do still have dreams occasionally about the accident that disabled me. I also have some flashes when i'm awake, sort of mental pictures that flash in my head, especially when I'm driving and hear the sound of squealing brakes or the impact sounds from an accident. 
 
#8
@DDNatureLoverI still cannot understand how people can do ugly things to others, or how some people can have no guilt about doing it. I think that's the part I will always struggle with during my healing. People don't want to admit we have slavery like this in our country, neighborhoods, etc. It's easier to look the other way if it does not affect you personally. However, people do terrible things to other people right under our nose, and I don't think we have the right to ignore it when we see it. That might be the victim in me talking though.
 

HappyKoi

Junior Member
Thread starter #9
I actually had a good breakthrough recently.  Whenever I used to dream about one of my past abusers sexually abusing me, I would try to attack him, but it would do nothing.  He wouldn't even feel it.  Today, he came back in another dream and tried to abuse me again.  This time I beat him to a pulp.  I was quite proud of myself.  I think all the work that I've been doing on myself and the affirmations I've been using to build my self-esteem and my boundaries has really clicked with my subconscious.  It's good to know that all the stuff I'm doing is really working.
 
#10
It sounds as if you're transitioning mentally from feeling like a victim to feeling in control. That's great to hear @HappyKoi. I think it does help to 're-write' the endings using coping techniques we've learned. Often we feel stuck in those old patterns, especially in dreams, so being able to fight back definitely shows progress, congratulations. 
 
#11
For the sake of this thread, I will reveal my "hidden dreams" about my abusers. They are my sisters in real life - 2 of them, the youngest in the brood. They have abused my parents of money and opportunities that I really hated them until now. By the way, I live in the Philippines while my 2 evil sisters are residing in the US since 2007. Sometimes I dream of them but always in a bad way that they are villains and never did I dream of them in a good way. I really feel that I'm still angry at them until now even if my parents are already both dead - my mother in 2009 and my father in 2013. Honestly, I have no more communications with my 2 sisters and I have accepted the fact that they are already persona non grata to me.
 
#12
Thankfully I don't have dreams of negative things that have happened to me in the past. But I do remember those times in my waking hours. Are you thinking about those times in your waking hours at all? 


Our dreams are follow-on thoughts of those things we encounter throughout the day, so it may be that those awful events are still very much in your mind. When you sleep your subconscious releases those thoughts as dreams. 


Try to change your way of thinking throughout the day and you may find that the dreams get less. Another thing you can do is stay away from milk and cheese as these foods trigger dreams.
 

_Lukas

Active Member
#13
I still have dreams about my abuser, even though that relationship ended a few years ago and I'm now engaged to my soul mate.
 

Rinka

Moderator
Staff member
#14
The mind is a wonderful and scary thing. I think you keep dreaming about your abuser, because he or more his actions are still effecting you massively.
PTSD sadly leads to this.
Even years after my expirences, I still get night terrors and sometimes in intimate situation I can expirences flashbacks. But I was able to work on it with therapy and it's getting easier living with it.
 
#15
The mind is a wonderful and scary thing. I think you keep dreaming about your abuser, because he or more his actions are still effecting you massively.
PTSD sadly leads to this.
Even years after my expirences, I still get night terrors and sometimes in intimate situation I can expirences flashbacks. But I was able to work on it with therapy and it's getting easier living with it.
I'm hoping that the therapy will help with my PTSD too. I don't know if it will help at all but it is worth a try even if I can only learn how to deal with it.
 
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