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Does Anger and Shouting Stress You?

MATD

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Thanks MATD! Simply putting the confrontation behind me and refocusing my energy on tasks and other things that I can control works for me after being so shaken up after witnessing someone act like Gordon Ramsay.

I spoke also privately with my colleague (Jennie) who was also there during the confrontational meeting. She is far more experienced than me and we went through everything going on with the project. With her help, we were able to list everything going right and put our manager at ease that everything is being tended to. Clear and respectful communication, confiding in colleagues, teamwork skills and anxiety management skills have helped me navigate this latest incident with minimal pain.
You put your anxiety aside, got together with a trusted co worker and together you focused on the positive. You just made lemonade out of those sour lemons. I’m so happy for you I could bust right now. You took some great positive steps.
 

suzzeeb

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I've been married to an angry man for 37 years. He doesn't show his anger towards me as much as he used to, but he is still angry much of the time either yelling at people while driving (which happens almost every time we are in the car) and angry at almost every one else he knows at different times. I'm sure that's doing my anxiety a world of good! He stresses me out a lot. I sometimes wonder if I would be a lot calmer if I weren't around him.
 

Camden

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I had an extremely unfortunate and embarrassing episode with a colleague raising his voice and violating my personal space last week. The yelling was bad enough, however the forced entry into my workspace and the close proximity made it 10 times more horrific.

One day last week, I got SCREAMED at by one one of the last people I would ever expect to raise their voice. From who I thought was the nicest and most helpful guy in our team.

This colleague, “Doug” was not at all pleased that my boss was having me help with his project. I did my part and that’s when Doug completely lost it and accused my of interfering with his work, and distributing false/incorrect information to the whole workplace.

Doug barged into my office, got right up close, and began yelling about how I need to “butt out” “stop answering questions I don’t know the answer to” etc. etc. He wouldn’t let up for what seemed like 5 minutes. I couldn’t get a word in, but I took faith in knowing I didn’t do anything wrong. I was reduced to tears afterwards and had a hard time thinking straight for the rest of the day.

It’s scary seeing a colleague get so aggressive, and invading my personal space. I’ve been avoiding Doug as best as I can, even though we’re on the same team.

My anxiety has been through the roof this past week. I’m afraid to go into the workplace. I’ve even had anxiety attacks over the weekend.
 

MATD

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Sounds like the guy has issues. Don’t let him make them yours. Standing up for yourself is ok, in fact necessary. Time to go to the boss and iron this out. You do deserve the knowledge of where and what your responsibilities are. Get the air cleared. Avoiding this person is not good for your own self confidence.
 

Camden

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Sounds like the guy has issues. Don’t let him make them yours. Standing up for yourself is ok, in fact necessary. Time to go to the boss and iron this out. You do deserve the knowledge of where and what your responsibilities are. Get the air cleared. Avoiding this person is not good for your own self confidence.
Thanks MATD! This guy is very particular and perfectionistic with his job. He has 5 years seniority over me, so I think part of the problem is that he is threatened by me working more closely with his duties. In his defense, I can see how he could construe me as an adversary.

On the other hand, the way in which he reacted was totally unacceptable. I like to think he feels remorse for what he did, but he hasn’t approached me to apologize yet. That speaks volumes on what a fake person he is.

Doug was the closest thing to a friend I had within the workplace. We worked closely and many things I’ve done couldn’t have been done without his help. Those days are over.
 
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