Do You Have Trust Issues?

ladybj · Nov 22, 2019

MainerMikeBrown said:
Do you have trust issues? Do you not trust hardly anyone?

You don't want to be too trusting of others, of course.

However, you don't want to go through life never trusting anybody either. You'll miss out on good quality relationships with nice people who really are honest and trustworthy. And who wants to go through life never trusting anyone anyway?

Hence, their has to be a balance. And a competent therapist can teach you how to trust people, and can teach you how to trust your emotions when it comes to trusting others.

If you have trust issues, learning how to trust others doesn't happen overnight. But it can be done.

I trust people until they show me I can't.

PalmDragon · Nov 22, 2019

Way back when, after my parents divorced, they both made some bad life choices. As a child I ended up stuck in the middle between 2 crappy situations. One of the negative adaptations I made at the time was to not believe or trust in anything anyone told me. I did that for a good reason back then, but it's followed me my whole life and has made relationships with others more challenging. It's been harder for me to make and keep friends as I would end up coming off very judgmental. To this day I have trouble accepting advice from others even when it's perfectly reasonable. I still put things that other people say through the coping filter I invented as a child.

Recognizing why you don't trust others and how you do it is very important. And yes, therapy is very good at pulling those issues out so you can begin to understand why you do what you do.

It's funny that you posted this since I just recently started going to a therapist as part of my anxiety recovery and have just started to realize some of the connections from the past that impact my overall well-being. Just a week ago I wouldn't have had this perspective.

It's good to know that our journeys are all unique but we share different parts of our paths with so many other people.

PRguru_cfj · May 17, 2020

I've been having trust issues since middle school to now. My anxiety started when I was at school when I had alot of assignments but it got worse when I had my first "fight". It was sixth grade and the people who I knew for years jumped me becuase they were bored and kicked me in the balls and ran. They didn't get know punishment only a piece of paper. I moved to another school and it was better. But as soon as I thought I had friend turned out to be a lie. They just laughed at me and those love confession girls give you were lies to. I became more pessimistic I started to sabotage my sports teams, working alone for the most gruelling of assessments, and keeping my distance to anyone even my own family. When I hit collage I started to relent but I knew they see me as either annoying, creepy, or just plain weird. This mistrust even in my self gave way to so many mis opportunities such as dating, driving, going out, or even doing something for my life. Now I hate everyone and my self the most. Bow today a freak accident happen with my dog and the neighbors witch I know for a fact they are going to go legal. They say it is fine but it's not and this proves they and everybody else ALL LIE. I am no exception to the rule. Even a high to someone is a difficult task for me for what they might think of me. Even though everybody I meet thinks I am a loser now EVEN my so called family. They tolerate me even if I do somthing good. All I can do is get good grades in echo and do.yard work around the house. That's all I am good for. For many of you thier is hope but not me I think. I am to far gone to trust any human being. That included me. I am useless so people relying on me are destined to fail. Men, women, children, life,don't trust known of them . Love, friends, family, don't want nothing to do with them. I want to be left alone and do nothing becuase when doing nothing for me at least. I don't start any problems with anyone and they leave me the hell alone. All ways has been and all ways will be. After all I failed to do what's the point, everything I do is my fault.

MainerMikeBrown said:
Do you have trust issues? Do you not trust hardly anyone?

You don't want to be too trusting of others, of course.

However, you don't want to go through life never trusting anybody either. You'll miss out on good quality relationships with nice people who really are honest and trustworthy. And who wants to go through life never trusting anyone anyway?

Hence, their has to be a balance. And a competent therapist can teach you how to trust people, and can teach you how to trust your emotions when it comes to trusting others.

If you have trust issues, learning how to trust others doesn't happen overnight. But it can be done.

Good quote and I thought the same as you but as got older I just surmised one thing, " If I do not want any problem or if I caused the problem, stay out of other people's way an you will be fine". I used to trust people before the tone I got blame d for smoking weed in school, accused of being a school shooter, and sneaking into the ROTC building to look at girls. all crimes that I was cleared for but I had to be suspended for.school for OTHERS mistakes. I used to trust pole before I was being used by a girl you I though liked me but was just using me so that she wouldn't fail a class. Most of all I used to trust people when my brother and sister were taking to my father saying that they were embarrassed by me. So now I have to go through life knowing I am a scapegoat for other rpeo pl es woah and they complain on why I act up at school or act wired in front of people. I am trying to put my life around but no matter how hard I pray or talk about my problems. Nothing helps.

PRguru_cfj said:
I've been having trust issues since middle school to now. My anxiety started when I was at school when I had alot of assignments but it got worse when I had my first "fight". It was sixth grade and the people who I knew for years jumped me becuase they were bored and kicked me in the balls and ran. They didn't get know punishment only a piece of paper. I moved to another school and it was better. But as soon as I thought I had friend turned out to be a lie. They just laughed at me and those love confession girls give you were lies to. I became more pessimistic I started to sabotage my sports teams, working alone for the most gruelling of assessments, and keeping my distance to anyone even my own family. When I hit collage I started to relent but I knew they see me as either annoying, creepy, or just plain weird. This mistrust even in my self gave way to so many mis opportunities such as dating, driving, going out, or even doing something for my life. Now I hate everyone and my self the most. Bow today a freak accident happen with my dog and the neighbors witch I know for a fact they are going to go legal. They say it is fine but it's not and this proves they and everybody else ALL LIE. I am no exception to the rule. Even a high to someone is a difficult task for me for what they might think of me. Even though everybody I meet thinks I am a loser now EVEN my so called family. They tolerate me even if I do somthing good. All I can do is get good grades in echo and do.yard work around the house. That's all I am good for. For many of you thier is hope but not me I think. I am to far gone to trust any human being. That included me. I am useless so people relying on me are destined to fail. Men, women, children, life,don't trust known of them . Love, friends, family, don't want nothing to do with them. I want to be left alone and do nothing becuase when doing nothing for me at least. I don't start any problems with anyone and they leave me the hell alone. All ways has been and all ways will be. After all I failed to do what's the point, everything I do is my fault.

Good quote and I thought the same as you but as got older I just surmised one thing, " If I do not want any problem or if I caused the problem, stay out of other people's way an you will be fine". I used to trust people before the tone I got blame d for smoking weed in school, accused of being a school shooter, and sneaking into the ROTC building to look at girls. all crimes that I was cleared for but I had to be suspended for.school for OTHERS mistakes. I used to trust pole before I was being used by a girl you I though liked me but was just using me so that she wouldn't fail a class. Most of all I used to trust people when my brother and sister were taking to my father saying that they were embarrassed by me. So now I have to go through life knowing I am a scapegoat for other rpeo pl es woah and they complain on why I act up at school or act wired in front of people. I am trying to put my life around but no matter how hard I pray or talk about my problems. Nothing helps.

Sorry for the typos

MarciKS · May 20, 2020

I don't trust anyone anymore. Every time I do, I get hurt.

Guitarist41 · May 20, 2020

MainerMikeBrown said:
Do you have trust issues? Do you not trust hardly anyone?

You don't want to be too trusting of others, of course.

However, you don't want to go through life never trusting anybody either. You'll miss out on good quality relationships with nice people who really are honest and trustworthy. And who wants to go through life never trusting anyone anyway?

Hence, their has to be a balance. And a competent therapist can teach you how to trust people, and can teach you how to trust your emotions when it comes to trusting others.

If you have trust issues, learning how to trust others doesn't happen overnight. But it can be done.

I don’t trust anyone. I hold my morals high for myself, and many don’t live up to that.i hold everyone at arms length. I lack a lot of emotional responses, which likely has a lot to do with medications, but also traumatic events that have taken place in my life haven't helped.

PRguru_cfj · May 20, 2020

MarciKS said:
I don't trust anyone anymore. Every time I do, I get hurt.

I am the same the same as you and even in collage now where you sometimes HAVE to ask for help on any subject you study. Bar one class I had to study by myself and I not complaining since that always had been my way. My mind always had this duality, I hate trusting anyone....but that's is pretty lonely. I've been doing things mostly by my self since middle school and SO many things I have missed for me not making GOOD friends. But even the teachers pulled me aside and told me " you going to need to trust someone".

Currently I am in my sophomore year in collage for my bachelors in digital media and leaving with my family. Since Corona I don't go out much except for groceries. My birthday coming up and my family wants to go out considering things are opening up. I should be looking forward to gifs and family calls but now as I am older things seem repetitive and useless. I do all thease things for my future like working and learning to drive but the fact is I Don't Trust Anything including my self.

Now as I thought I want to be left alone and it hurting me even more. My anxiety is starting to affect my love ones, friends, and potential love interests both Male and female( surprisingly since I am not as extroverted as I was). I REALY want to hate people for what I done and what they done in the past to me. But all I have is my honor, my hobbies, and my will above all else that has kept me going. Tell me, what made you hate people as I had. I stopped trusting when I was lied to and I gave up on human kindness. But I am older about to be 24 and I want to change.

I want to stand on my one two feet as you and spit on the wolrd and make those who wrong me suffer, but they are not worth the effort nor valuable for your time or mines. Thier are many men and women in this world and one of them will love you or sometimes make you love them ( in a total healthy way mid you). My problem is I stopped trusting myself, do you have the same problem? You don't need a billion people to trust but just one will do. Many people hate me for my shity attitude and I did most of the damage to myself.

I trust my father, no matter what things I done, no matter what hardships I infleit on him, nonmatter what poeple say how much of a monster I am. He is always thier to shield me and pick me up. He helped put my faith in to people and most importantly in my self. I am a coward by trade and lazy by nature. But even I can be love and learn to trust others. Sorry if I am being to lone but what I am saying is, Hope

It's a pain in the ass, you want to give it up and say **** the world. But that inner strength that if you see a man bleeding on teh ground you help them. The same feeling that if you see 10 guys beating you step in and help( happened to me I got my **** rocked but the kid thanked me, thank god they didn't search my pockets afterwards). **** is tougher now but you got to make your own paradise and you are the person who makes their own hell. I know this from experience and I am my own worse deamon. Take it from a loser like me since I know you can learn to trust people again

So tell me what is the reason for your hate and knowing am a psych doctor, but I care since I haven't gave up just yet. Neither should you

Guitarist41 said:
I don’t trust anyone. I hold my morals high for myself, and many don’t live up to that.i hold everyone at arms length. I lack a lot of emotional responses, which likely has a lot to do with medications, but also traumatic events that have taken place in my life haven't helped.

Your high morals are your strength, I know mines are my personal shield but use it as a tool for your friends and your family that b b you still have. I ******* hate people as you but another part of me is thatblityle kid who wants to friend with everyone and have epic adventures. Let the pain fuel your drive and prove to others that you are still here and standing on top of their brutality and malice. I could have let the hate consume me and become the monster peo pl le say I am. But I choose my own path and slowly but surely getting to where I want to be. Kicking and scream and bleeding on the ground if need be. So dont let medication dictate who you are. You have pride and honor and I respect that. Let it make you better. But relent if some thing is bothering you. Even a prideful man must speak if somthing is wrong

MarciKS · May 20, 2020

PRguru - I have hated people and not trusted them since I was little. I had to grow up with Tourette Syndrome and never got the opportunity to make friends. Now whenever I try to reach out to people....it's for nothing. They may hang around for a short while but, then they just disappear from my life. I have a hard time around people. I want to trust them but, I've learned the lesson too many times. They use me for whatever reason and then I don't hear from them again.

PRguru_cfj · May 20, 2020

Friends come and go that is the way of things. All the companions I had are either in the military had families and finishing up thier degrees. I have ment people who had that same problem. Tho I did heard them fighting with people but they were nice to me. I had alot of friends and love interests with a variety of personalities and social standings. I also had anger problems when it came to my grades and my social standing. I always had a trigger when it came to my out burst so what is yours? Thier must be somthing that calms you down after the burn.

I get it, ass holes are every where and most of them spread hatred becuase they hate thier own existence. It's hard to make friends when your older since everyone is busy and have responsibilities. Maybe some of those people moved on becuase they had to. With getting older and time you will identify the snakes alot quicker so I dont think that will be a problem. Unfortunately finding friends is alot of trial and error its takes small talk to helping out with random crap and eventually reaching out mainly doing first. I got bbn rej eww cted slot and the ones that did were either nice and normal.to nice and freaky but bros and bro-dets known the less.

I hide my darker side and showed them who I am. Most them didn't like me but **** them, on to the next one. I not saying to blurt out all your problems on poeple ( I did that and it does NOT go well). Being around ass holes is bad but not trying to make things better is alot worse. My age I should be doing as much stupid stuff and trial and error with things as possible but I fear of failure made me very introverted and not trusting any help or promise I was offered. I could be better but I don't trust anything not even my self. But even t hff e smallest change can help.

I had a friend back in the day had the same problem as you and he fought every one and including the teacher. No one even bothered to talk to him and he didn't either. So my naive ass came up to him and says high. It took alot of recess and PE days to get through to him but we became good friends. Hell after that he started to get good in class and less problems. He thanked me but I'd didn't understand why. Back then always believed that people have the ability to be bad but also be good as well. I was pretty bumbed that he moved away one day but I know he will be okay.

If someone like me who has had nothing to offer someone can change the worse person, thier is no way you don't have the same ability to find hope in other people. Find people who have the same interests as you, giving up is worse than not trying. Sorry if I am taking to long but I just wanted to help a comrade out.

Aries · May 21, 2020

"When children grow up in a home with alcoholism and the usual denial that surrounds it, they may develop serious trust issues as adults. The lies, the keeping secrets, and the broken promises all add up to send a message to the children that trusting can backfire on them.
Many grow into adulthood not being able to truly trust anyone, which affects their romantic, professional and spiritual relationships with others. They have been disappointed too often by the alcoholic parent to really let themselves fully trust."

Both my parents were alcoholics. My mother died in her 40s from it. But it wasn't just my parents that taught me not to trust anyone. My sister developed into a world class backstabber. Teachers at school, backstabbing co-workers..

MarciKS · May 21, 2020

PRguru
I'm not sure this is considered a trigger but, I get overwhelmed & go into a full blown anxiety attack. People are ok with me till they find out I'm a touch screwed up. Everything is always my fault in their eyes. I'm always doing or saying something wrong. I get tired of it after a while. Rather than continuing down the same path, I just go a different way.

PRguru_cfj · May 21, 2020

I'm more of a situational person. One thing I like to do is eat, one time I checked my grades on my phone at dinner and I found out I got an F. I lost my appetite completely and started to become depressed impatiently. Or the time in 11th grade I found out I hand to do four different essays for each of my classes I raged out in class becuase I was so subconscious of the thought of being overwhelmed or failing. That's when my anxiety starts, the feeling of failure and overwhelming odds. People used to tease me but when I got mad they back up. Which was a negative considering I couldn't get a date for the rest of that year.

I am also sometimes if not often times clumsy. I get my fanilynmad and my brother and sister finds me annoying. And I have a tendency to break stuff. My dad finds ways for me to be use full on that regard. No lie He told me to cut a tree down and I just want at like it tomorrow and it got chopped Jason voorhees style. Messy but effective he always would say. Like you I tend to leave if people don't want me thier. But now it's more important to make them suffer gir you to stand thier ground and and say no you move. Its hard but worthier it to se the discomfort on thier face knowing you won.

I pushed away so many potential good people and my anxiety made people who dislike like me leave me alone. Though it did start a rumor that people spread of me being so many things which I rather not say right now. After my rage outside I get tired and apathetic. Then sometimes try to forget about it. I know it's hard to contain the beast but sometimes the monster comes out, hell I am screwed up in the head and some people call me crazy. But **** it I'm crazy then.

You have similar issues to mine. All the best people I know are a tad bonkers. It kills me to think some day I can't control mynemotion and might hurt some one. I fight that urge every single day. But like you we are good people and were better than the voice in my heads. No pill ever told me what to do, also they didn't work. They are only thought not actions.i keep in the stress by thinking on a goal. Childish as may seem I want one thing. Peace and prosperity for me and the ones I love and going to love. That's my goal.

People who accepted me withmy problems wired and the BEST people to party with. You find those people one day and they will drive you nuts, but In a good way and also help you. Since you know what breaks you, they to build one that and focus on the things you like, and if people can't accept you at your worse, they sure as hell don't deserve your best. Sorry if it's to long just wanted to help a fellow misfit.
Sorry for typos

Howlingvapor · May 21, 2020

Trust is weird for me because I tend to not trust the people that I know the best and yet I blindly trust people I hardly know. I think it’s because in my mind I think that if I talk about a personal issue with a close friend or family member they’ll see me as a weaker man, but I don’t care as much about what some friend I said two words to back in high school or just some work friend that I kind of get along with. Really the hardest for me right now is entrusting my heart with another person. I was burned last time I trusted a woman with my love and I’m worried that whenever the opportunity to trust someone else with it comes I won’t be able to do it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

MarciKS · May 21, 2020

PRguru - That's a good word for it..."misfit"...I have had Tourette Syndrome since I was 8 yrs old. I've been a misfit for my entire life. So that is nothing new to me. I think we all have our own ways of coping with things. I too feel like there's a monster banging on the door and wanting out. I can't let that happen. That monster has been fairly quiet most of my life but here lately it is rattling the walls and fighting to get out. It's in a rage right now because people have made that monster in me mad and sad. I am thankful for the anxiety meds they keep things under control for me.

I just wish I had someplace safe to lash out and let that violence go without hurting anyone.

As for trusting others...I just can't. I've been hurt too many times. It's not worth the pain to get to the maybe. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this person will actually like me. Maybe this person won't hurt me. I can't do the maybe anymore. It's become too much.

I gotta go to work.

Have a good day guys.

Casabee · May 24, 2020

MarciKS said:
I don't trust anyone anymore. Every time I do, I get hurt.

I feel the same way. It always happens :/

PRguru_cfj · May 24, 2020

That happens do all of us trust issues or not. It has t ok be trial and error bo matter whi you are. I had to learn how to trust the right people before I could have move on with my life. Untrustworthy people at least my experience tend to act childish and loud and overly affectionate. Friendship when get older isn't harder but alot worth it if you achieve it. As I said earlier finding good people takes time.

Casabee · May 24, 2020

Thats probably why i dont trust my boyfriend. He's not really 'loud' but is childish in the way he always thinks he's so deserving of anything he wants, selfishness and he is maybe overly affectionate. He's pretty affectionate and i like that about him. But i have a hard time trusting him.
I find it hard to trust anyone. I've had friends who turned on me and every guy i've been with proved himself to be untrustworthy

PRguru_cfj · May 24, 2020

I your case it depends on how lo g he has been with you. Thier a difference between childish but affectionate and just childish. If you know him realy well it probably his bubbly personality and if it's your anniversary or date night he would probly do something sweet towards you. If your concern just tell him what's up.

MarciKS · May 24, 2020

PRguru_cfj said:
As I said earlier finding good people takes time.

What happens if you never do? Then what?

PRguru_cfj · May 24, 2020

I ask that question all the time myself. Tho I am a do it yourselfer for most of my academic life and my pirde. See I always have this duality of thought, thiers good things and and thier are bad ones. Its impossible to NOT run into a bad person and the same for a good one. I know you think it is impossible to find good people and form a bond and hell I can't have a normal conversation with someone without coming across as awkward.

I learned as my collage life progresses it hard to form bonds with poeple when we are only together for a short time and people gotbthier own problems and desires. It takes time for me to trust someone weather it being in love or friend ship. I learned that the hard way for my many situations in high school which I think NO one at that age should experience. But that's besides the point and depends what you want. Now I want some one weird but fun so I want to feel what living is, somthing to give me thrills and compassion.

So what are you finding in a person? What is you re goal you want to achieve? I can't believe not one person ever wanted to be friends with you, you are strong, stoic, yet calm and sincere from what I gather. I don't have many friends since I am focus on my studies and all of my companions moved on and I do feel lonely. But I pray and work hard on my goals and take the pain and push through it. You seem like the same way. I got beat up so.many times and got names and even blackmailed. But I always known if I am alone, then I will spit at the face of the fate that's say I am a loser.

You have a career, your stronger than me, and I know you can't trust people and can't find anyone. I am.just a broke collage kid that has nothing to offer people and who's mind and self esteem keeps him from doing anything. I am scared of doing anything and failure even more. All I have is hope, determination, drive, want, and plain stubbornness and luck. I can accept that I can lose and be defeted. But giving up is far worse, you say you can find anyone yet your taking to me and care what I have to say and vice versa.

I trust your word and judgement, and I respect that you are very strong controlling your self even if it's hard. You say you will be no one but I and everyone who respond to you care and believe you can find some one. Hell my birthday is tomarrow and I believe o one will care to come and I doubt my own brother care. But all I can ask is try and try again. I have faith you will find someone and I also know it will be hard. But its never acceptable to quit.

I am always being put down about my abilities but I choose the painful path and keep looking for my best purpose that I will forge. Even if it take a thousand years. I will fight for it and surpass my limits. So please be stronger than me and try and try again. Thier is a thousand assholes to dight,but thier will be that person who will learn to.love you and allow you to love others

Also I am sorry if I used the word misfit and if you took it as an insult. You are a respectable person and sory if this is to long
Your comrade spuerPR_cfj
Sorry for bgg typos it's becoming a bad habit
Sorry again

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