Constantly Worrying about Hearth Health, Cancer and all ailments?

[stressfreeplz]

Hi!
I recently joined and I am hoping for some prayers... I have been dealing with health anxiety for about 26 years. It started the day I saw my dad pass away in front of my eyes as I was a senior in college and from that moment on, I began to deal with anxiety... I've held a nice career (child psychologist actually) and have a wonderful, loving family. For a few years (10 or so), I thought I had brain cancer-- severe headaches and all. Checked out by several neurologists, test after tests each year and all turned out fine. I put that aside and then focused on my heart. I don't have any member with heart issues, no high BP or anything-- but I get symptoms (racing heart, left arm/shoulder/neck pain, short of breath, etc). I have probably saw just about every cardiologist here in town and other towns for that matter, and have done every test imaginable in these 10-12 years. For a while, it goes away and I am fine. Then either something in the news, a friend with heart issues- something triggers it and then comes the symptoms. Being a female- you don't want doctors to treat you like it's "all in your head" and so I have seen female doctors, ended up in ER dozen of times, etc... All clean. But I still from time to time get these symptoms. Every time I try to "fight/flight" method and say to myself "you've had these before. You've been checked out. you are fine"-- but it's really debilitating. You focus so much on every single symptom and waste the valuable time you could have spent with your family. This pandemic hasn't helped either- always worrying. So I come here to hear others, maybe perhaps you can share some stories or offer some advice/words of wisdom..... thank you so much

 

[EMJ]

YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE ME..... anxiety is horrendous! I have been dealing with anxiety for about 30 years...I could have written your post..seriously...mine comes and knocks me on my ass every couple years...I have been going through a tough period for nearly a year now and hoping every day it will subside and I will get a break from the worst symptoms BUT the basic symptoms never go away. I am a therapist...retired now after 40 years...and I am VERY open about my anxiety....I let people know if I am struggling and I always explain to others ...it is like any illness ..you need to learn to cope and look for support.

 

[JLD]

stressfreeplz,

I will pray for you.

 

[Matticus1983]

My dad passed when I was 18 shortly after I graduated high school. I watched him fight cancer for 5 years prior. It's almost a ptsd thing for me with how it relates to my hypochondria. I fear death so much cause I remember the pain and the absolutely (what am I going to do now) feeling. The helplessness to better the situation. I was young, he was 48 years old. I'm 36 now and it still feels like yesterday. His death was a nightmare of suffering I can never get out my head. But I try and remember he fought the good fight and I should too. But it's hard. I quit going to docs some time ago as I found If nothing was wrong my mind would just refer to something else being wrong. A constant cycle. I absolutely am convinced I have some sort of brain or heart ailment but If I pay close attention to my thoughts I realize just how I produce my own symptoms. Buy I'm also OCD and over do the thought tracing. It's hell. I stay stressed, I worry one day I'll just call to the ground and my heart will stop. Or one day I'll lose control of my body functions and have a seizure or something. None of these things have ever happened to me by in 20 to years. "Now why now"? Then I go back to my age and getting back older which reinforces the hypochondria I had just got rid of 20 minutes before. It really sucks. My brain will use anything to reinforce my fears. But it's the wasted time hounding over and mulling over unrealistic fears that hurt the most. I lose my grip on reality. I get tired of the intrusive thoughts I really don't want to think about. Most people go there whole day focusing on what's in front of them, maybe there job, finances, marriage, family, what there gonna do this coming weekend, but I'm frozen in fear wondering when I'm gonna topple over or pass out from a brain/heart condition that doesn't exist. (Even saying that doesn't reinforce anything, I still believe there is something wrong)... I've had heart tests, seen a cardiologist once, had my brain scanned, all the blood test one man should ever have and I've always been ok. I went to the doc a year ago and my BP was 170/100. I was a nervous wreck prior and having an anxiety attack, mind you. My heart rate stays in the high 50's for no reason I can explain, which is a bit low. Ever since then I check my pulse 100 times a day, take my blood pressure every afternoon, habitually. My BP can waver just a bit and I'm stuck on oh no, I really do have a heart problem. Sometimes I get mad and o er exert myself just to show my anxious self your not gonna die "dummy". I'm scared of so much now. Scares to be alone, scared of a little dizziness, scared of not being close to a hospital, scared of driving. I'll mean it's gotten bad. Been to a psych which is throwing meds at me. Klonopin 3 times a day, Lamictal 200 and lexapro once a day. Obviously neither is helping the underlying issue. I don't have full blown panic anymore but I still get episodes anxiety attacks I guess. I'm to the point now where enough is enough and If I die, I die. I'm tired of worrying about myself and ready to get back to things I love if my brain will let me. But who knows. I miss my family and there right here. I'm about to live life fearless and go on with it. Just getting sick and tired of being sick and maybe that's what it's gonna take.

 

[mollyfin]

Child psychology was a field I always wanted to go into (alas health issues - the actual kind not the imaginary kind haha - left me unable to finish school or work reliably so any real career is out of the picture and at nearly 40 it’s a bit late to make a start in anything) - your work seems like it must be so interesting!

PTSD in your situation seems like a reasonable outcome - I’m sorry about your dad. Are you seeing a therapist at all or just a psychiatrist? Medication is great for some things but I find it hasn’t really helped with this.

 

[stressfreeplz]

YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE ME..... anxiety is horrendous! I have been dealing with anxiety for about 30 years...I could have written your post..seriously...mine comes and knocks me on my ass every couple years...I have been going through a tough period for nearly a year now and hoping every day it will subside and I will get a break from the worst symptoms BUT the basic symptoms never go away. I am a therapist...retired now after 40 years...and I am VERY open about my anxiety....I let people know if I am struggling and I always explain to others ...it is like any illness ..you need to learn to cope and look for support.

How do you cope with it? What health issues have you had?

 

[EMJ]

my health anxiety began in my 30's when a Dr. told me I might have pancreatic Cancer.....I went into a spiral...I had 3 children and I knew a diagnosis like that could end my life quickly...it turned out he was way off base and It was nothing but since then I have had many many issues I thought were major diseases and it turned out to be anxiety related...I currently have a feeling of pressure on the left side of my neck that is making me stressed...I have had it in past years but now suddenly as of this past Monday it feels like someone has their hands around my neck..I know it most likely has to do with the tightening of the muscles in my upper back and neck which contributes to muscle stiffness... which is caused by my inability to relax and let go of this damn anxiety.....but once again my mind is going into a dark place.....relentless anxiety

 

[Danny1001]

Why would the doctor tell you that without doing tests first moron


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[Vincent]

I've been dealing with similar issues. For me, it's mostly fear of a heart attack in situations where I imagine I might be overexerting myself (although by any reasonable measure I probably wouldn't be anywhere close to that). In fact, I had to push myself to write that term . I'm not aware of any heart disease in my family, and I'm in reasonable shape. I think at some point I connected my age with higher risk, and from there my mind runs away with it once that fear pops into my head. I too get the chest, shoulder, and neck tightness on the left side, occasionally with a bit of light-headedness. I've had it checked out several times over the years and was always fine. It's so psychologically draining, because the anxiety attacks are the same symptoms you read about heart attacks. And heaven forbid I read in any detail about somebody having a heart attack and get that scenario fed into memory.

I try to keep it in check by eating well, doing moderate exercise 3 times a week, and staying on top of my medical wellness checks. That gives me peace of mind.

 

[H.J.J.C.]

It is very important for those of us with HA to trust our primary care/gateway doctor and the results of the tests he or she prescribes. If we don't, no amount of assurance will quell our fears. So, if you don't have confidence in your current doctor, find one you CAN trust. I have known my doctor since we were both in high school 61 years ago. He and I sat in the same classroom and I know how smart he is. But I wrestle with trusting his diagnosis every time. HA is not rational. It is emotional, and only confidence in the expertise of our doctor can keep the lid on those debilitating emotions.

 

[ashley3187]

In 2015 I gave birth to my 2nd child. During the epidural procedure, the technician poked herself with the needle she just used on me. Just as I’m getting ready to be discharged with my new baby girl, my doctor comes in and tells me at some point I came in contact with Hep C. I carried the antibodies. I headed instantly into that dark anxiety tunnel. I had to get a HCV RNA blood test to confirm my body cleared the virus on its own. The only thing I could trace the possible exposure to was a home tattoo I received from a friends husband. Was I dumb enough not to be sure he used a clean needle? Yes I was, I mean he was employed at a shop. But whatever my stupidity. Bringing home my new baby was supposed to be a joyful experience. Instead, I was plagued by the fear of having a disease and the possibly of passing it to the child who just resided in my body for 39 weeks. I was clear but I had to wait a whole year before I could test my daughter. The antibodies I had could have been passed to her I suppose. The most traumatic and torturing event I have ever been through. The PTSD I have acquired from this event has made some of my anxiety flares debilitating. I can’t even get a routine blood draw. The fear of finding another ailment terrifies me