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Coming to grips with my depression

Howlingvapor

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Feb 23, 2019
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I’ve spoken with my therapist about how I’ve been feeling lately and there’s no getting around it, I’m depressed. Whether this is situational or something that’s been brewing for years, I’m currently going through depression and I need to find a way to deal with it. So far I’ve just been trying to be around people more, which helps, but my social anxiety holds me back from making genuine connections. I just feel unmotivated and unhappy all the time. The things that used to bring me so much joy I barely care about now. My parents are very disappointed in me for not going out and finding a better job with more hours and for not quite meeting the potential the see in me. I haven’t told them how depressed I am. I really don’t want to worry them or make them feel like they messed up some how. It’s just hard finding motivation to go job hunting when even my favorite video game or tv show doesn’t interest me anymore.

However I’m slightly proud of myself now. Today I didn’t feel like doing anything, I felt super low energy and I just wanted to sit in bed all day watching YouTube videos. I felt almost trapped in my own head, like nothing made me feel good. Yet despite feeling so down, I managed to message a professor about an internship and finish the homework I was dreading all day. It doesn’t sound like much, but considering how I was feeling most of the day I’m just surprised I got myself to do anything at all.

My therapist wants me to ask my doctor about starting antidepressants and anxiety medication. Just for a few months or so until I get my life on track and don’t need them anymore. Normally I’m cautious about medications, but at this point I’ll try anything, because living this way is honestly killing me.


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Zoeb23

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Hii.
Depression is hard. I do think it could be something in your life that triggered it; for my mother when she had depression, it was caused by stress and her just not being able to meet the demands of everyday life.

I would say you should open up to your parents about whats happening. Never bottle anything up, it just ruins your mental health further. If you confide even in one person that's close to you you'll feel better trust me. Also don't feel pressurized into finding a new job; at the moment you are the priority and your mental healthy comes first, everything else will fall into place.
And yes, you should feel proud of yourself for making any progress!! Its amazing and any effort makes a huge impact, no matter how small.

I do think anti depressants are a good idea. They really helped my mom and I'm sure it'll help you too. Pls take care of yourself and take it one day at a time, and don't be afraid to open up. You can beat the depression if you try <3
 
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