Child Abuse and PTSD

[solana]

I am probably not the only one on this forum who has been abused as a child. I was tortured physically and mentally until I escaped that house of horrors when I was 16 years old. Fortunately, I was never sexually abused. I


It took me many years to deal with the issues that tormented me from a very early age on. Apart from the psychological, emotional and spiritual damage that my parents inflicted on me, I also had to deal with compacted spinal injures that caused me chronic pain for nearly 20 years. I always refused the standard ways of addressing my issues. Instead I turned to alternative therapies such as acupuncture, meditation, Buddhist counselling and many others. My progress was slow and painful but I pressed on. One of the worst things that kept reoccurring, were the sudden panic attacks that were triggered by seemingly harmless situations or circumstances, such as my boy-friend playing some innocent prank on me that caused a total meltdown in me, reminding me of how things used to be when I was a kid.


At one stage an old school friend of mine contacted me after many years, reviving old memories in me that led me to have a nervous breakdown as long repressed memories suddenly started to surface from the depth of my consciousness.


Well, I found many ways to deal with my PTSD over the years, and I haven't had any attacks for 4 years now. I don't think that I will ever experience the kind of anxiety and panic attacks that I used to have. I really worked through most of my issues with total dedication to understand them better.


Do you carry any PTSD injuries from your childhood?

 

[111kg]

Unfortunately yes. . My father has been emotionally abusive all my life and although I have not lived with him for more than 6 years, his past actions are still haunting. I really have a low self esteem, not to say that I am always thinking that all the other people are better than me. I know that it's not true, but... it's really hard to fight with emotions most of the time.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation... And I think that in some level, all parents are physically or emotionally abusive, but l was lucky enough to not be abused to a level that I had to deal with PSD. I only have had one experience that caused me that disorder, but I guess that is not related with abuse.


But still, I think that people should be really careful when they are deciding to be parents, it's an enormous responsibility and it should be taken seriously for every single one of them.

 

[Sue]

I am really sorry to hear all that you went through as a child but I am glad you were able to finally escape it. It is natural that this would haunt you because it was so traumatic. I was in an abusive marriage for many years. I finally left but even after 10 years I still get upset when somebody raises their voice to me because I go back to what would happen. The scars are still there and even though I have come a long way I have a long way to go. I don't know if I will ever get completely over it. I wish you all the best.

 

[Kosta]

Fortunately, I had a happy childhood, thanks to my parents and other family members who were maximally committed to me, my sister and brother. We were showered with love and attention, so I cannot remember that we got even one punch by our parents. But I can understand how painful child abusing can be and that it leaves permanent scars on one's soul. Because, I know a few people who survived a real torture in their childhood, and I know that they still have side effects of such behavior. I am really sorry for the pain that you suffered, and hope you will forget everything.

 

[Jemina]

I have PTSD related to child abuse as well and it can be horrible trying to deal with it. Like Sue said, all it takes is a raised voice and I can completely break down. Even if the raised voice isn't an angry raised voice I feel sick and will start shaking and get scared and have to separate myself from that loud person. I think it's why I'm so socially anxious as well. I can't handle loud situations. I'm not a fan of drunk people either. If I know them really well and really trust them then generally I'm okay with it, but if I don't know them I don't like it at all.

 

[Sue]

I have PTSD related to child abuse as well and it can be horrible trying to deal with it. Like Sue said, all it takes is a raised voice and I can completely break down. Even if the raised voice isn't an angry raised voice I feel sick and will start shaking and get scared and have to separate myself from that loud person. I think it's why I'm so socially anxious as well. I can't handle loud situations. I'm not a fan of drunk people either. If I know them really well and really trust them then generally I'm okay with it, but if I don't know them I don't like it at all.

I also get very nervous around loud people. They make me anxious. I am sure it is related to what I went through.

 

[MichaelJacob]

Your story is really horrifying and I'm sorry all those things happened to you. After reading that im thinking wow, and I thought what happened to me was bad. I was abused when I was very little like three to four years old by my mother who has lots of different mental illnesses, one of them being schizophrenia. My dad got custody over me and my sister and I didn't see my mom until recently, im now 19 by the way. Anyways I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and lastly PTSD which I thought was odd because it never crossed my mind that I would have this.

 

[boobsnbabies]

I'm very averse to shouting. If I hear a public argument or someone yells at me, I get sweaty and my heart races. My mother was a loud, boorish woman who would scream in your face at the drop of a hat. She frequently beat us for minor things, like using too much toilet paper and clogging the toilet, threatening to put our dogs down, shoving us and sometimes closed fist hitting. She once threatened to cut open her face with a knife when I was trying to leave an argument, saying she would "slap herself in the face with a knife", call 911, and say I did it. When my brothers and I were little, she took all of us on a drive to reservoir and was going to drive us into it. I recoil at the phrase "I'll give you something to cry about".

 

[rz3300a]

Well I have worked with children for some time now, and it happens to be children of a particularly unfortunate backgrounds and histories and behavior issues, so it is certainly relevant here. There is a lot of information out there, but a lot of it is also pretty new and not understood well, and really up for interpretation to a certain degree. That said, though, you can surely see signs of PTSD in some of these kids. For legal reasons we do not really know all the details of their histories, but we do know some as it is important in their treatment, and we have a lot of kids who have symptoms that are a direct result of this, and you can tell too. It is very interesting, and sad though. Thanks for sharing.

 

[kgord]

Child abuse has to be some of the most horrific stuff known. Even parents that are well meaning can become overwhelmed, and take their frustration out on their children. It is pretty sad. I can imagine that a number of these kids suffer from PTSD. However, hoping they don't repeat the cycle with their own children is something that we need to educate about and prevent against. It can be difficult to do, as people unless they get a real handle on it, tend to repeat what they know.

 

[HappyKoi]

I certainly do. I had some pretty nasty physical and emotional abuse from my parents and a babysitter. I was sexually abused by a stepparent as a teenager. I can't write about the details because it still triggers me pretty badly. It started young, so I really don't remember what life was like before it started. I have a child of my own now, and I am very careful in raising him so he doesn't go through the same pain I did. I think the hardest part about childhood abuse is that, at least in my case, adults didn't believe me when I did tell, and my abuser made it clear that no one would ever believe me. We were a well-to-do family and my parents had a good reputation in the community. At home, however, was another story. Did you ever try to tell anyone about the abuse, and if so, how did it turn out?

 

[Dybbuk Jones]

My mother was bipolar. It has affected me in ways that I still haven't completely unpacked. I think that it's normal for people to yell at each other. I never trust couples who seem like they are happy together. I assume that there is abuse. I always try to say something in any internet debate which is nasty and cutting in order to end the debate. I also think that my dating has been affected since I tend to date women who are going to be just as unstable as my mother.

 

[listener1987]

My mother was bipolar. It has affected me in ways that I still haven't completely unpacked. I think that it's normal for people to yell at each other. I never trust couples who seem like they are happy together. I assume that there is abuse. I always try to say something in any internet debate which is nasty and cutting in order to end the debate. I also think that my dating has been affected since I tend to date women who are going to be just as unstable as my mother.

Just a note regarding couples fighting - it's true that every couple has disagreements, but not every couple actually yells! (My husband and me, for example)

 

[kelden]

Child abuse goes beyond bruises and broken bones. While the physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lingering emotional scars. Fortunately, the earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and break the cycle. Another thing is, while it's easy to conclude that only "awful people" abuse their children, it's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to perform their role as a parent themselves. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse problem. Also, Child abuse doesn't only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.


By the way, It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents. I'm glad it worked out for you Solana.

 

[listener1987]

Child abuse goes beyond bruises and broken bones. While the physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lingering emotional scars. Fortunately, the earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and break the cycle. Another thing is, while it's easy to conclude that only "awful people" abuse their children, it's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to perform their role as a parent themselves. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse problem. Also, Child abuse doesn't only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.
By the way, It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents. I'm glad it worked out for you Solana.

Thanks for mentioning that child abuse isn't always intentional by the parents. I'm a foster parent, and I know that many biological parents love their children; they just don't have the ability to care for them properly, often because of drugs.

 

[rz3300a]

Child abuse has to be some of the most horrific stuff known. Even parents that are well meaning can become overwhelmed, and take their frustration out on their children. It is pretty sad. I can imagine that a number of these kids suffer from PTSD. However, hoping they don't repeat the cycle with their own children is something that we need to educate about and prevent against. It can be difficult to do, as people unless they get a real handle on it, tend to repeat what they know.

This is a very good point, and providing help certainly goes beyond repairing marks or bruises, and it involves breaking that cycle. It is difficult work, but I know that there are a lot of good people out there who are really making breakthroughs, and there are many services available, which of course is good news. It is such a sad reality of this life, but I could not agree more with you that the focus needs to be on breaking that vicious cycle.

 

[John Snort]

Anyone who was abused as a child may successfully be able to bury the memories of what happened but it will always be in the subconscious. That's why unless you deal with what happened back when you were a child, the memories could surface at any time and cause you pain because the trauma does linger. If you suspect or feel that you are suffering from PTSD that results from being abused as a child then you should try psychotherapy.

 

[janemariesayed]

After having therapy for two years when I was younger, I learned that the best way to move forward from PTSD is to train yourself to think differently. The best way to think is positive thoughts and put the bad thoughts out of your head. Taking some natural medicine like herbal St. Johns Wart is very good and working on feeling positive. We will never forget the bad things that happen in our lifetimes but we can, with a bit of effort, put them behind us. 

 

[djanx]

Well, I had a relatively awesome childhood in that sense. Never had those problems. Although, my elder brother did go nuts when he turned sixteen. And I used to be his punching bag. But, nothing too bad because I always gave it back in full


Also, it's nice to see you talk about it. Half the time people don't even know where their current behaviors come from.