I'm not sure if this counts as body dysmorphic disorder or if this might be more along the lines of OCD, but I have a weird problem.
For about 12-13 years or so, I've had a weird obsession with my cheekbones and jawbones. I have a very tight, square jaw and very prominent cheekbones (very feminine-looking. I don't mean a "manly" square jaw at all). I never thought of it as an undesirable quality until I was in late elementary school/early middle school. The first time I ever thought about it was when kids started calling me an "alien." I didn't understand why they were calling me an alien so I asked one of my friends and she said "You have an alien face."
When I got a little older I started researching about it and I found out that a square jaw and prominent cheekbones are a desirable quality in female runway models. I started feeling really insecure because I didn't want to look like a woman.
As a teenager and young adult, I started doing a lot of weird things to my appearance to try to distract from my facial features. I dyed my hair bleach-blond at one point and strawberry blond at another point. I even shaved off my eyebrows. I wanted to look like a completely different person and totally change my appearance. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense but in my mind it was totally rational.
Sometimes I would wear the hood on my sweatshirt to hide my face or I would wear a scarf over the lower half of my face.
I'm not as bad about this as I was a few years ago, although now I'm trying to get into modeling (Dave's idea) but I still feel really insecure when people take pictures of me. I don't think I would ever make it as a professional model because I think I'm really quite ugly.
I think that's what the root of the whole problem is- I think I'm ugly. I obsess about it constantly. I look in the mirror and feel distressed. I'm always worried when I go into a social situation that people are going to look at me and be like "Wow, he's so ugly!"
Sometimes I think about having plastic surgery or a facial transplant because I just hate my face.
I'm not trying to seek attention or fish for compliments; I'm being very honest.
Does this sound like body dysmorphic disorder? Or is this more on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum? I just need answers because I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating my own face. I want to get treated for this, I just want to know what it is first.
For about 12-13 years or so, I've had a weird obsession with my cheekbones and jawbones. I have a very tight, square jaw and very prominent cheekbones (very feminine-looking. I don't mean a "manly" square jaw at all). I never thought of it as an undesirable quality until I was in late elementary school/early middle school. The first time I ever thought about it was when kids started calling me an "alien." I didn't understand why they were calling me an alien so I asked one of my friends and she said "You have an alien face."
When I got a little older I started researching about it and I found out that a square jaw and prominent cheekbones are a desirable quality in female runway models. I started feeling really insecure because I didn't want to look like a woman.
As a teenager and young adult, I started doing a lot of weird things to my appearance to try to distract from my facial features. I dyed my hair bleach-blond at one point and strawberry blond at another point. I even shaved off my eyebrows. I wanted to look like a completely different person and totally change my appearance. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense but in my mind it was totally rational.
Sometimes I would wear the hood on my sweatshirt to hide my face or I would wear a scarf over the lower half of my face.
I'm not as bad about this as I was a few years ago, although now I'm trying to get into modeling (Dave's idea) but I still feel really insecure when people take pictures of me. I don't think I would ever make it as a professional model because I think I'm really quite ugly.
I think that's what the root of the whole problem is- I think I'm ugly. I obsess about it constantly. I look in the mirror and feel distressed. I'm always worried when I go into a social situation that people are going to look at me and be like "Wow, he's so ugly!"
Sometimes I think about having plastic surgery or a facial transplant because I just hate my face.
I'm not trying to seek attention or fish for compliments; I'm being very honest.
Does this sound like body dysmorphic disorder? Or is this more on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum? I just need answers because I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating my own face. I want to get treated for this, I just want to know what it is first.
