Body dysmorphic disorder?

Discussion in 'Other Mental Health Issues' started by _Lukas, Nov 17, 2017.

  1. _Lukas

    _Lukas Active Member

    I'm not sure if this counts as body dysmorphic disorder or if this might be more along the lines of OCD, but I have a weird problem.

    For about 12-13 years or so, I've had a weird obsession with my cheekbones and jawbones. I have a very tight, square jaw and very prominent cheekbones (very feminine-looking. I don't mean a "manly" square jaw at all). I never thought of it as an undesirable quality until I was in late elementary school/early middle school. The first time I ever thought about it was when kids started calling me an "alien." I didn't understand why they were calling me an alien so I asked one of my friends and she said "You have an alien face."
    When I got a little older I started researching about it and I found out that a square jaw and prominent cheekbones are a desirable quality in female runway models. I started feeling really insecure because I didn't want to look like a woman.

    As a teenager and young adult, I started doing a lot of weird things to my appearance to try to distract from my facial features. I dyed my hair bleach-blond at one point and strawberry blond at another point. I even shaved off my eyebrows. I wanted to look like a completely different person and totally change my appearance. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense but in my mind it was totally rational.
    Sometimes I would wear the hood on my sweatshirt to hide my face or I would wear a scarf over the lower half of my face.

    I'm not as bad about this as I was a few years ago, although now I'm trying to get into modeling (Dave's idea) but I still feel really insecure when people take pictures of me. I don't think I would ever make it as a professional model because I think I'm really quite ugly.
    I think that's what the root of the whole problem is- I think I'm ugly. I obsess about it constantly. I look in the mirror and feel distressed. I'm always worried when I go into a social situation that people are going to look at me and be like "Wow, he's so ugly!"
    Sometimes I think about having plastic surgery or a facial transplant because I just hate my face.

    I'm not trying to seek attention or fish for compliments; I'm being very honest.

    Does this sound like body dysmorphic disorder? Or is this more on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum? I just need answers because I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating my own face. I want to get treated for this, I just want to know what it is first.
     
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  3. Sweed1

    Sweed1 Member

    Lukas,
    I kind of think this is more along the lines of being a bit obsessive-compulsive. Can you try to resist this feeling and find some very intensive new hobbies that can take your focus from your face and put your focus and energy to better use. I am not trying to be mean but as you get older your face will fill out more and more than likely your going to be a very handsome man. When I was younger I thought I had a big nose and I focused on that instead of on my better qualities which made me very shy and withdrawn. As I grew older I realized that the outside is not all that important and it is the inner you that counts. In other words you were born this way so make the best of it and try hard to find something outside your own self to focus your attention on and soon you like me will discover that actually I was better looking then I first thought.

    When you focus on something fun and exciting sports or outdoor adventures, etc... this obsessive focus you have might fade away and you won't even miss it. I pray that you will be successful moving forward. Best of luck. :)
     
    _Lukas likes this.

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