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Body and mind disconnected

iwakami

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Hi. I'm new here. Just wanted to share a bit about me, after reading all your wonderful/terrifying stories. They did help my nerves to be calm and diminish my symptoms. Thank you.

I always considered myself a nervous person. With confidence problems and what i think it was normal anxiety. I was shy and would be nervous about public exposure, that's all. I thought it was normal, because i was still happy to live with myself and my feelings.

I discovered anxiety disorder and panic attacks with 36 years, first time. Looking back, i guess it makes sense to have this disorder since i never managed my stress levels or had much care about my nervousness. I just lived happy with my stress, embarrassments, hardships of life, etc. Never thought they'd have impact in me.

Talking to my therapist i guess we discovered that the previous year was too tough for me. Family members dying, moving house twice, living in my in-laws house, new job with high level of stress, violent events in the street i lived in. I think these events added up, i have to agree with the therapist on this.

My disorder is composed of thinking too much about my body feelings. I thought i'd have heart attacks, my lungs would fail, that i could have a brain stroke, tumor, stomach cancer, and some other stuff. Had numb limbs, muscle twitches, chest pain, neck pain, scalp pain, throat blockage, head pain, head flashes, random trembling, head pressure on the top, side, face numbness, ear buzzing, ear pain, stomach ache, irritable bowels, dizziness, derealization, depersonalization, etc.

One year after, i think i am recovering, but I'm not certain. After months and months of unhappiness, i feel like my mind wants to be happy now. I have significantly less physical symptoms. I think I'm happy now. At least my life is significantly more stable (even with Covid all around) and i have a more positive mind towards things. I feel a little bit more like my old self.

The problem is that I'm not sure I'm recovering. I sometimes keep feeling these milliseconds of dizziness flashes in my forehead out of nothing. I still focus too much on a headache that only hurts when i pay attention to it. If i keep working i never notice it. Some days i never feel it. When these feelings come, the brain tumor idea crosses my mind. Doctors never made a head scan... I guess i feel they're missing something on not doing that... The story of hypochondria... But I'm not a doctor and i have to trust them. I mean, i went to 3 different ERs, 3 different doctors doing 3 similar routines with the same result: you have anxiety disorder, let me recommend you a psychiatrist. Aside from ER, i visited some more doctors from different specialties. I'm ok! Ok, body? Can you just chill? Jeez...

To all of you that are recovering or had completely recovered, do you also feel a major disconnection between your humour and your body feelings? Do you feel like you're ok and recovering but still feel like symptoms come out of the blue? Without any reason? What do you do to ignore the symptoms?

Thanks for reading. Cheers
 
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Cuchculan

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Welcome to the forum. From reading your post it is like you have the answers to what you are doing wrong. But putting them into practice is the hard part for you. You know you over think things. Focus on things when you shouldn't. So you are fully aware of all these things. That is a good start. Now you just have to try and take your mind off of things. Find some form of distraction. The more we focus on ourselves, the bigger the problems become. So if you get a headache, try telling yourself that millions of people out there also get headaches. That it is only a headache and nothing worse.

These things can hit us out of nowhere. That is called a setback. If we linger on it, we are allowing it back in. See it for what it is. Just a setback. Remind yourself of any good days you have had. I am sure you have had a few of them. Let your mind go back to those good days. With any luck you will begin to feel good again.
 

iwakami

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Nov 21, 2020
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Welcome to the forum. From reading your post it is like you have the answers to what you are doing wrong. But putting them into practice is the hard part for you. You know you over think things. Focus on things when you shouldn't. So you are fully aware of all these things. That is a good start. Now you just have to try and take your mind off of things. Find some form of distraction. The more we focus on ourselves, the bigger the problems become. So if you get a headache, try telling yourself that millions of people out there also get headaches. That it is only a headache and nothing worse.

These things can hit us out of nowhere. That is called a setback. If we linger on it, we are allowing it back in. See it for what it is. Just a setback. Remind yourself of any good days you have had. I am sure you have had a few of them. Let your mind go back to those good days. With any luck you will begin to feel good again.
Thank you. You're right, i should do as you say. It's hard indeed. My (ours) mind is surprisingly powerful because sometimes i know i want to enjoy the moment, i even feel happy, but in background, another process is running, filing up the brain's "CPU" and "RAM" with negative garbage. I need to reset my anxiety.
 
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