Are you using this forum to get better? Or are you seeking reassurance?

[Fraser]

We all know the pattern of worrying about symptoms and then seeking reassurance from others (health professionals, family, friends) to allay our fears. While we want to make sure that we still contact our health professionals in a balanced manner for symptoms (and then trust their diagnosis), the cycle of reassurance is PART OF THE PROBLEM. Asking people at this forum "I have symptom X, could it be [horrible disease]?" is a short term band-aid (if even that) that is not going to do the work to get rid of your actual problem: health anxiety. When you continually seek reassurance, you enable the cycle that you are trapped in, even though it has the illusion of being a reprieve. It's a fake escape.

So what are doing to get better from your actual problem? I ask, because if you don't put in the work, you can suffer from this for decades. I should know, because I have. But I've had enough. I'm not wasting another 20 years of my life on this ****.

 

[JustMe]

Idk. This forum has helped me more than any dr ever has and it's sure a lot cheaper too. The best part is in also able to help others because I know what they are going through.

 

[bin_tenn]

I can't speak for others, but when I'm here lending advice, I try to avoid providing strict reassurance and instead focus on helping others get better. There's nothing inherently wrong with reassurance as long as one can recognize that it's a problem and actively works to resolve it. We've all been there.

 

[TruthHurts]

I'd say a little bit of both. A lot of time all a person needs is some reassurance to feel better. I like to help others as well if possible.

 

[imsotired]

although it has helped me, alot of the work has to be done on your own. people can support you but at the end of the day it is up to you what life you want

 

[Fraser]

Idk. This forum has helped me more than any dr ever has and it's sure a lot cheaper too. The best part is in also able to help others because I know what they are going through.

That's great. How has this forum helped you? What advice or support did you find the most useful?

 

[bigjetplane6]

I’m using this forum to get better, seek reassurance, when i’m going through a HA episode hopefully have others relate to what i’m feeling and calm me down, and also help others with their HA episodes.

 

[Ggirlangel93]

I think the forum is a great place to simply feel like you are not alone. Having anxiety especially health anxiety can be very isolating and lonely so having people who deal with the same things you do is comforting. Also helping others and being there for each other is a good feeling. I'm def guilty of seeking reassurance here and from my family...sometimes in the moment when you are overwhelmed with thoughts reassurance even for just a moment can go a long way and make you feel alittle better.

 

[JustMe]

That's great. How has this forum helped you? What advice or support did you find the most useful?

Always someone here who understands what I'm going through. People are very supportive here and are able to calm me down or help me think more rationally when I'm freaking out.

 

[Belizz]

I think both yeah, reassurance and discussions about healing from HA. But as I see mostly reassurance.
This is a condition that makes the sufferer become so frustrated with themselves because it's almost impossible to avoid falling into the reassurance loop. If one of us goes through a very bad episode of HA and seeks reassurance here, we give it to them in an honest and realistic way.

On my part, I refrain from talking about symptoms as much as I can, even though I notice many people here constantly asking about symptoms to gather reassurance material to justify the compulsive behaviors (HA was listed under OCD in DSM for quite a while and there is a good reason for that imo).
And as others mentioned above, when we post here we know that all others understand how we feel and we are not going to be ridiculed by them no matter how irrational our worries get.

 

[JADIII]

I was thinking of posting this today so wanted to bump it up as it was close to what I was going to ask.

 

[ThankfulJen]

Yes, reassurance can be an issue. But it is cheaper than going to a doctor. Knowing that others have had the same issues as you helps to alleviate some of the anxiety. Also, some of us can't afford to run to the doctor everytime a symptom scares us. And it is always nice to be able to help others so they don't feel alone in their struggles.

 

[Iugrad91]

I come here to look for past posts about sensations similar to what I may be feeling. I don’t Google anymore, I only look on here. I also like to respond to others about their issues as I think suggesting to others how to deal with their worries reinforces the things I learned in therapy (putting up STOP signs when thoughts get out of control, letting go of the need to control every situation, learning how to accept the unknown and move on). It’s also reassuring to know you’re not alone in having health anxiety.

 

[bigjetplane2]

Both. And in a way, form of theraphy/venting.

 

[Jonathan123]

Reassurance can be a mixed blessing. On the one hand it does help to know we are not alone. On the other we can get reliant on reassurance and want comfort from it all the time. But I feel the benefits outweigh the faults. When I was in GAD there were no computers or sites like this, and all I had were books by Dr. Claire Weekes' that helped so much. I thought I was the only one like it until she came over here from Australia and gave talks on anxiety. She certainly gave me reassurance, which helped greatly.
Even if we get a little comfort from anything it is a step forward. Sites like this have become a godsend to anxiety sufferers. Helping each other is so important, and doing it with love and compassion is even more so.

 

[Fraser]

Yes, reassurance can be an issue. But it is cheaper than going to a doctor. Knowing that others have had the same issues as you helps to alleviate some of the anxiety. Also, some of us can't afford to run to the doctor everytime a symptom scares us. And it is always nice to be able to help others so they don't feel alone in their struggles.

The point isn't to get reassurance from healthcare professionals instead of forum members. The idea is to break the cycle of reassurance and to seek medical advice when appropriate instead of for every symptom. Alleviating the anxiety in the short term via reassurance, like people regularly do on this forum, establishes longer term cycles that make the overall problem worse, even if it feels better momentarily.

This article says it well:

"Considering all possibilities is not a bad strategy if you examine them logically. However, unable to bear their distress, catastrophizers rush to external sources to calm themselves down: checking whether anyone else has “come through” the same problem; matching symptoms online to obtain a diagnosis and treatment options; asking a professional to tell them that they will survive. Once they are reassured, they feel better – in psychological jargon, they have “rewarded” this seeking behavior. The next time they feel uncertain or threatened, they will ratchet up their anxiety with a catastrophic thought, then look outwards for reassurance even faster than before. In this way, catastrophizing soon becomes a well-entrenched habit. The greatest problem with seeking others to alleviate anxiety is that it offers only temporary relief. There is always another source to check or another opinion to be had; as a result, catastrophizers feel anxious again increasingly quickly. The only way to break this cycle is to tame anxiety. After this, you can still seek advice. So, if you are a catastrophizer and you would rather not be, how do you go about making changes?"

I was thinking of posting this today so wanted to bump it up as it was close to what I was going to ask.

Looking at the thread titles and topics on this forum, it is over 90% reassurance seeking and less than 10% threads that start with problem solving, healthy anxiety strategies, or other forms of productive engagement with HA. If reassurance is the main way you use this forum, than you are almost certainly using this forum in a way that contributes to and maintains your health anxiety. The main benefit I have derived from this forum is offering advice to people who have gone through similar problems. This helps because I recognize their thoughts patterns and when I give them advice it's almost like I'm talking to my own anxiety. But the tendency here tends to be posting thread about symptoms, which is unfortunate.

 

[MATD]

The point isn't to get reassurance from healthcare professionals instead of forum members. The idea is to break the cycle of reassurance and to seek medical advice when appropriate instead of for every symptom. Alleviating the anxiety in the short term via reassurance, like people regularly do on this forum, establishes longer term cycles that make the overall problem worse, even if it feels better momentarily.

This article says it well:

"Considering all possibilities is not a bad strategy if you examine them logically. However, unable to bear their distress, catastrophizers rush to external sources to calm themselves down: checking whether anyone else has “come through” the same problem; matching symptoms online to obtain a diagnosis and treatment options; asking a professional to tell them that they will survive. Once they are reassured, they feel better – in psychological jargon, they have “rewarded” this seeking behavior. The next time they feel uncertain or threatened, they will ratchet up their anxiety with a catastrophic thought, then look outwards for reassurance even faster than before. In this way, catastrophizing soon becomes a well-entrenched habit. The greatest problem with seeking others to alleviate anxiety is that it offers only temporary relief. There is always another source to check or another opinion to be had; as a result, catastrophizers feel anxious again increasingly quickly. The only way to break this cycle is to tame anxiety. After this, you can still seek advice. So, if you are a catastrophizer and you would rather not be, how do you go about making changes?"


Looking at the thread titles and topics on this forum, it is over 90% reassurance seeking and less than 10% threads that start with problem solving, healthy anxiety strategies, or other forms of productive engagement with HA. If reassurance is the main way you use this forum, than you are almost certainly using this forum in a way that contributes to and maintains your health anxiety. The main benefit I have derived from this forum is offering advice to people who have gone through similar problems. This helps because I recognize their thoughts patterns and when I give them advice it's almost like I'm talking to my own anxiety. But the tendency here tends to be posting thread about symptoms, which is unfortunate.

You can lead the horse to the water but you can’t make them drink.
I can concur with your statement about talking with my own anxiety. It makes me look at myself a little closer and question my own attempts at recovery. Do I take my own advice? Trying to help others is beneficial to one’s self, if you let it be so.

 

[AnthonyMG]

Hi guys,

Unfortunately most of the times I come here to update my situation is out of despair.

Although I know it will not help me objectively, it's good to express what I'm going through and, of course, there's always a small hope that someone reads me and tells me something important. It happened a few times already. Not that it helped me get better, nothing seems to help really, but at least I get different point of views and some good advice.

I wish there was a way (like a technique) that allowed to determine if a health problem is from psychosomatic origins or not and that someone here could teach me about it. But I know it's not possible... or it would be like a miracle.

If it wasn't for the complexity of my situation and I used this forums for occasional anxiety periods, I think it would be a great tool.

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[MATD]

Hi guys,

Unfortunately most of the times I come here to update my situation is out of despair.

Although I know it will not help me objectively, it's good to express what I'm going through and, of course, there's always a small hope that someone reads me and tells me something important. It happened a few times already. Not that it helped me get better, nothing seems to help really, but at least I get different point of views and some good advice.

I wish there was a way (like a technique) that allowed to determine if a health problem is from psychosomatic origins or not and that someone here could teach me about it. But I know it's not possible... or it would be like a miracle.

If it wasn't for the complexity of my situation and I used this forums for occasional anxiety periods, I think it would be a great tool.

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I don’t know if I recommended Dr Claire Weekes’ book to you. She developed a method for anxiety recovery. Research her. Although she is now deceased, her work was and still is considered groundbreaking in the treatment of anxiety. Her family has posted her videos on YouTube and her books are available on line. Another book by Carl James, It’s Only Anxiety, is a condensed version of Dr Weekes work. It’s available on Amazon for $11. Anxiety is actually not a complex disorder if one can look at it from an outside perspective. We who suffer anxiety are who makes it so complex to ourselves. And the longer we let it go, the deeper it embeds within us. Dr Weekes work focuses on accepting anxiety, facing the fear it causes and teaches us to stop reacting to it, which causes our symptoms to abate as our fear abates. I’m using the method myself, it’s working. But understand that it took us time to get this way, and it takes time for the method to work, with daily practice and a heap of patience. I use this forum to hopefully help others and give them some hope. But I do learn a lot here, about myself and others.

 

[AnthonyMG]

Thanks MATD,

You know, that's the perfect example that fits the last sentence from my previous post. Before 2020 I was someone with a few minor issues with anxiety and, on occasional periods, I don't doubt (in fact, I'm sure) that this forum and the books you recommend would help me a lot.

But since November 2020, my problem is physical and anxiety is a consequence of the physical problem that I have. So, my priority goes to the physical problem as solving it would solve the anxiety along with it.

One can argue that eventually my problem could be psychosomatic and so, the roles are reversed, being the anxiety and repressed emotions the origin of the psychosomatic problem that causes my physical symptoms. I accept that argument, because in fact it is a possibility.

But the symptoms are too real, they started from a specific accident, they never subside at times (as most psychosomatic pains do) and an ENT diagnosed me with permanent damage to the cartilage of the throat. So, it's very hard to keep the faith in the psychosomatic theory and treat the anxiety as if it was at the base of the problem.

Well, that was just some reasoning, I don't want to use this thread to talk about this issue, after all I even have created a thread for that, so I'll leave it with what I said in my previous post, I use this forum to help me look at my problem from different perspective and possibly get better. And I'll take your recommendations and advice in good consideration

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