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Anxious moment

smilingsoul

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Nov 11, 2019
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Hi all. Today I had one of my best days of recent weeks. It was like I was back to myself - I have a therapy appointment coming up in December and I was wondering what I would have to talk about (not really - there's a definite topic I have in mind, but it felt pretty good). Anyway, I picked up my daughter from high school (she commutes a fair distance because its a good school near my wife's workplace) while I was on a conference call. It was part of this change in my work responsibilities, and is this big, far flung project with dozens in people in 3 different countries. I did my bit on the call; I frankly don't have the biggest chunk of this thing which actually suits me fine. I've never been in charge of something like this, so a bite-size entrance into that part of the company business is actually pretty good.
Anyway, as we were wrapping up, I suddenly got a big shot of adrenaline and started worrying if I was in over my head. What would happen if I couldn't deliver? How was I going to get all these people to agree that my plan was the right one? Oh no, things had been going so well, and now I'm getting anxious. What if I have a relapse?
Anyway, it was a bit scary (it was very scary for a moment), but the good thing about conference calls is you can put yourself on mute and do some deep breathing without bothering anyone. My daughter was happily listening to her book on tape in the seat next to me. I got us home, calmly took a Xanax, and did some more measured breathing.
So I made it through ok. I did some CBT things about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, then took my daughter to the gym for her bootcamp class while I did Crossfit. Thanks for listening :)
 

Cuchculan

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That went well come the end of it all. You done the things that you have learned help you and you managed to come out the other side of it. It shows that it can be done. The anxiety moment was normal in my view. It was a big call. Important. But you handled it all well. You can be proud of yourself.
 

smilingsoul

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Thanks, yeah I am pretty pleased with how it all is going at the moment. I'm finding some allies in older managers around the company that can help me learn how to get things done and people to help without stepping on anyone's toes too much. Its a part of the world that I've avoided too long. I like being able to prove things with data and evidence, but sometimes it takes these people skills that I've neglected. I know it'll get easier as I learn the unwritten rules there and get some experience. Its just unnerving at the moment.
 
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