Answering a Bunch of Awkward Questions with a Therapist!
- Thread starter Mercedes M
- Start date
I watched your video and at the end when you spoke about feeling weird about talking about the suicidal thoughts I can relate. I have never been suicidal but there have been moments in my struggles with anxiety where I had bad thoughts and felt like giving up and had a fear that I would get to that point. I was always uncomfortable talking about it too for the same reason you spoke of.
I think that is a positive sign it makes you uncomfortable though, my experience with people who actually are or were suicidal is that the feelings and thoughts didn't make them uncomfortable. I had one person say that their life felt like they were in a burning building 100 floors up. Jumping was just as good as staying to them. I believe my issues from it were just fear in one of it's many guises.
Good luck with your appointment.
I think that is a positive sign it makes you uncomfortable though, my experience with people who actually are or were suicidal is that the feelings and thoughts didn't make them uncomfortable. I had one person say that their life felt like they were in a burning building 100 floors up. Jumping was just as good as staying to them. I believe my issues from it were just fear in one of it's many guises.
Good luck with your appointment.
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Thank you. I have had those same bad thoughts. And I think you're right...it's good that it makes me uncomfortable. The comment about a burning building really resonated with me. I guess that's how some people see their lives. Thank you so much for watching and commenting. It means a lot. And as always, please SUBSCRIBE!
Honestly I haven't watched your video yet but will. I went off my Anxiety meds for a few months just to see how I would feel because I've been on some type for 15+ years. To make a long story short I felt better at first than my Anxiety, Panic and Metal illness came back 10x on me to a scary degree. 3 weeks ago I keep having suicidal thoughts and it scared the **** out of me. I've talked to doctors and friends and family about it everytime it upsets me and scares me.
In hindsight I don't think I really want to do it. I just couldn't imagine living like that for the rest of my life. I felt like I was never going to get out of a 24 hr panic attack. I'm on new meds and still trying to feel normal or more normal.
Anyway I met a guy in the psychiatric ward we called Q. He was a black guy a little order than me mid 40s I say and funny as **** the kind of guy you liked instantly. He taught special education and was there for alcohol detox. He looked at me and said people who wanna kill themselves don't come here worried and scared their gonna kill themselves. They just go and do Real talk I'll never forget that.
In hindsight I don't think I really want to do it. I just couldn't imagine living like that for the rest of my life. I felt like I was never going to get out of a 24 hr panic attack. I'm on new meds and still trying to feel normal or more normal.
Anyway I met a guy in the psychiatric ward we called Q. He was a black guy a little order than me mid 40s I say and funny as **** the kind of guy you liked instantly. He taught special education and was there for alcohol detox. He looked at me and said people who wanna kill themselves don't come here worried and scared their gonna kill themselves. They just go and do Real talk I'll never forget that.
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I totally understand that. The first time I had a thought like that it honestly scared the s**t outta me. And as you can see in the video...it still makes me uncomfortable to talk about. But I'm sure Q is right. People who really want to end their live just go ahead and do it. Which is really sad to lose all hope. I guess what scared me though was the progression. If I'd gotten so far as to having the thoughts, maybe one day I'll get to the point that I didn't care anymore, wasn't scared, and didn't do it. Luckily, I got help before I got to that point. But yeah...it's tough.
I'm sorry that you're going through all of that. What meds were you on for 15 years? I do hope things get better and if you ever need anyone to reach out to, you can always reach out to me. And it's totally okay if you haven't watched my videos yet. I hope you do soon! And please subscribe if you do! ^_^
I'm sorry that you're going through all of that. What meds were you on for 15 years? I do hope things get better and if you ever need anyone to reach out to, you can always reach out to me. And it's totally okay if you haven't watched my videos yet. I hope you do soon! And please subscribe if you do! ^_^
Thank you for the kind words. I've had Anxiety and Panic for most of my adult life and have been on many different med too many to list. Mostly Ssri and Ssrn some older ones benzos and sleep aids. I've had some success and felt better for year's at a time. I'm just in a bad spot right not and trying to pull myself out of a dark place. I'm currently taking Escitalopram Doxipin and Xanax. I still have alot of trouble sleeping and just functioning. Everything seems so overwhelming to me. I didn't know my anxiety could get to the level it got to. Going off not meds cold Turkey for months is what really caused my current situation.