Am I becoming delusional?

[avocado]

Lately I've been experiencing quite a bit of anxiety, and I'm not sure if I'm developing delusions or not. Part of me wants to say that it is the same cycle of anxiety as before, but I'm not sure. One time over the summer I was sleeping with my girlfriend and when she was resting her head on my arm, it felt like it was vibrating, and then the thought popped up in my head "what happens if she is a robot." Then I started getting high levels of anxiety. At the time I thought about how ridiculous it was, but it still gave me a ton of anxiety. This led me to question whether or not I believed what I was thinking. Then I started coming with arguments about why she couldn't be a robot, but then that just gave me more anxiety cause I was actually entertaining the though. I was thinking about it again this morning and I'm still getting a lot of anxiety from it. I can't tell if the anxiety is from the fact that I believe it, or because I had the thought in the first place. I've had anxiety from things like this before, because I am terrified of developing Schizophrenia. I know I don't have it, but I'm afraid that I'm in the podrome or something.

 

[Cuchculan]

You say vibrating. What if you were simply feeling her pulse resonate through you? Even her breath. Would that even help to explain what you were feeling? Head resting on arm. Every breath would make them slightly move. The whole in, out motion of breathing. If she was even half asleep we could go further with this. People move when asleep. In various ways. Doesn't have to be a movement we can actually see. The head could have been doing that. But you, me and the whole world knows, she is not a robot. The anxiety might have simply came on as you tried to understand what you were feeling. As in her movement. Today you are still trying to understand it. Because you have no answer for it, the mind will create some ideas.

 

[avocado]

You say vibrating. What if you were simply feeling her pulse resonate through you? Even her breath. Would that even help to explain what you were feeling? Head resting on arm. Every breath would make them slightly move. The whole in, out motion of breathing. If she was even half asleep we could go further with this. People move when asleep. In various ways. Doesn't have to be a movement we can actually see. The head could have been doing that. But you, me and the whole world knows, she is not a robot. The anxiety might have simply came on as you tried to understand what you were feeling. As in her movement. Today you are still trying to understand it. Because you have no answer for it, the mind will create some ideas.

Hey thanks for the reply! I know it was definitely her breathing or maybe she was shaking! Im just getting anxiety over the fact that I was getting anxiety over that. If you get what I mean. I'm just terrified of developing delusions so I find myself over analyzing every little odd thought I have. Which sucks cause I don't know how to get over it.

 

[Brad66]

If you actually believed the thought you wouldn't be questioning it as delusional. So no you aren't delusional

It's just anxiety doing it's thing. You giving it the extra attention and importance is just helping prolong the suffering it is causing you.

It will keep popping up in your head for a while because you have told your brain that it's an important thought at this point. The best thing you can do now is when it pops up meet it with humor. Laugh about it, maybe exaggerate the thought even further making it more ridiculous. Let your brain know it's not an important thought. Eventually you will stop having it. Relax into the thought by accepting it for what it is, a strange thought.

 

[Cuchculan]

Maybe if you try and accept things. Like we say it was her breathing. Now it is time to accept that and move on. No more thinking about that night at all. That is the thing you are doing wrong. You become stuck in a moment. Work the answer out. Accept it and move on.