Accepting depression

[Guest]

Hi everyone,


I've been reading a lot about the idea of accepting depression.


A lot of people think this is essential, otherwise we will never be able to get past the denial or shock, which prevents us from getting better.


Others seem to feel that to accept it would be the same as admitting you are weak, or even accepting you are weird, weak, and ultimately doomed as a freak.


I think it is quite a shock to be told you are depressed, yes, because we still have the shadow of the Mental Hospital looming over us; and we feel varying forms of guilt. and unfair treatment or expectations from others.


Hopefully awareness is changing now, and the general attitude is becoming more accepting.


Some people might think that accepting would be the same thing as giving up or losing the fight, but I think it is one thing to accept, another thing not to fight.


For example I am very shortsighted. No problem accepting that - if I don't wear lenses I would be unable to walk into town, drive, find anything. However, just because I accept being short-sighted does not mean I will not wear lenses or glasses to correct my shortsightedness!!! No - I will take steps to make sure I can see as well as everyone else. And the fuss of cleansing my lenses and leaving them to soak is minor in comparison to not seeing properly.


The same with asthma. I only have to go a day without my inhaler, and I am wheezing like a strange marsh bird. Therefore, I have no difficulty accepting these conditions which are still there if I don't take corrective measures?


Isn't depression the same?


We have a condition, for which we need either therapy or medication. We can accept the condition, but not accept to just lump it when there are good remedies for most cases. So say a medication makes you feel ok.


Obviously you can accept you have depression, or you wouldn't need treatment. But while you treat it properly, its almost not there, like my asthma and shortsightedness....


So I feel we mustn't let 'acceptance' of the condition make us feel we can't do what we can to rectify it.


It may take some time to get the correct balance of therapy and medication, but accepting it is the first step in beating it down so much it is hardly an issue at all.....

 

[Guest]

I agree, it's an interesting idea. I find it really easy to accept my depression on an intellectual level. I can rationalise and medicalise it and accept my drugs and therapy. What's hard for me though is to accept it on an emotional level i.e. not feel guilt, self doubt and shame. Very interesting post.

 

[Guest]

I suppose it depends what you mean by acceptance. If you mean that others should treat you as if you have a treatable illness which occasionally limits what you can do ok, (and your feelings should be somewhere inline with that I suppose) but I would not agree with the idea that the whole responsibility for society's reaction to depression and your subsequent response depends on you. Rant over.


PS Have had several admissions and treated badly leading to non-therapeutic relationships which does not really help "acceptance" of depression.

 

[Costello]

Accepting that you're an alcoholic is the first step in recovery. I think the same thing can apply here. The people who don't accept that they have a problem are living in denial, and that's no way to live. If anything would make me depressed, that would.

 

[Guest]

I suppose it depends what you mean by acceptance. If you mean that others should treat you as if you have a treatable illness which occasionally limits what you can do ok, (and your feelings should be somewhere inline with that I suppose) but I would not agree with the idea that the whole responsibility for society's reaction to depression and your subsequent response depends on you. Rant over.
PS Have had several admissions and treated badly leading to non-therapeutic relationships which does not really help "acceptance" of depression.

I totally agree with you - I think! I certainly don't mean we should have to take responsibility for society's attitudes towards depression. I think its appalling that we are written off as time-wasters and hypochondriacs.


My only reason for posting what I did was that I see too many people feeling guilty for being depressed, for feeling they are failures. Alot not all, but quite a few men feel very ashamed to admit to depression, and that is such a shame. How is this message getting reinforced?


I was speaking for the people who feel bad at admitting to depression - it is not a crime, and the more people can admit it, the less misunderstanding there will be.....I think I may have put it badly. I totally agreed with the points you made!

 

[GeneKaufman]

The thing I personally realized when being forced to recognize my issues, is that people with psychosis and schizophrenia have to come from somewhere. As much as some people say "Oh, everybody has problems, and we all suffer from depression from time to time" they often take for granted that they are not schizophrenic. You don't just go through your life without ANY issues whatsoever and magically go insane. There's more than likely a genetic factor to be seen, but there is has to be something else that gets the issue from point a to be b. So it's true we all have issues in our lives and deal with sadness and anxiety, but some of us have a much harder time with it than others, and some of us have a parent who has/had schizophrenia whose parent also has/had schizophrenia. It's not an especially good prospect when 2 of your direct ancestors in a row have/had a major debilitating mental illness...

 

[justsayyes]

I agree. For you to move on and so you can focus on getting better, you have to accept that you have a problem. It's the first step to getting better. If you can't even accept you have an issue, then that means you're not getting any help, you're just living in denial and in the end you will be the one who's going to suffer.

 

[pwarbi]

Even though depression and mental illness are a lot more widely accepted these days, there's still a stigma attached to it that makes people try and avoid the topic and if they are diagnosed with it, makes them bury their heads in the sand and try to ignore it. Accepting your depression is a big part of moving on from it and we have to realise that being diagnosed with depression isn't the end of the world and it can be treated.


A lot of people won't want to accept the fact that medication does help, and if your adverse to taking any form of medication then that's a hurdle you're going to have to overcome. One of the causes of depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that's triggered by a certain issue in your life, and you won't be able to just carry on and pretend it ill go away on it's own. For some people it might do, but the chances are low and medication is the best way to treat depression, whether you like it or not, The majority of people aren't on the medication for life, it's just there to help you get some sort of balance back in your life, and you should treat it as just something to help you get through a tough time, like taking a painkiller for an headache. Once the headache as gone, you stop taking the painkillers.

 

[mauricioq]

You really need to be self aware to understand that there's something wrong with you, that's a great first step. You need to know what you're dealing with, so you can overtake it. Don't be ashamed to talk about it, that's very important too.

 

[Guest]

I think you should only listen to the people that really understand and you have to learn that most people don't and they can really hurt you. It took me a long time to do that. These people can include professionals as it seems to have done in your case, and it has done in mine. That's the beauty of this forum, cos people understand.

 

[janemariesayed]

No, I do not accept that I have depression. I don't accept the other mental illnesses I have either. At least not in the sense that I think, 'Oh yes, I have depression and so what?'

My mental illnesses have come about because of how I was treated and abused when I was a child. It makes me mad that these people are living a life of riley while I suffer.

I accept that I have depression and other mental illnesses, as the doctor has diagnosed me, but I want to heal. Therefore, because I want to heal, I don't accept to stay and wallow in my depression, but to work hard to overcome it.