JustinBailey
New Member
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2019
- Messages
- 5
- Reaction score
- 1
I grew up with Family that treated me like I didn't matter and that I was incompetent at pretty much anything. Any accomplishments I made were dismissed as not being relevant or childish.
I score 33 on the ACT? It's a stupid test that only tests your ability to take the ACT is what I'm told. Also that I put in more effort than I needed on something that doesn't matter that much.
I make the Varsity team for soccer in 10th grade, am awarded MVP and Most improved player when I've never actually played the sport prior to joining the team in 10th grade? Soccer's not a real sport and the 10-0 season record [4-6 the previous year] was purely because of good coaching and my teammates, they only gave me MVP because they felt sorry for me... not, you know, the 20+ goals and 7 assists I had or anything like that.
I never felt like I was awful. I never didn't love myself, like so many people assume is the case when it's discovered I have depression. I never hate myself. I live in a state where I often think that I'm the only one who does.
Relationships and friendships? I've been conditioned to think people aren't going to like me or care about me because growing up despite doing my best to be considerate, caring, and nice I was treated like I'm the spawn of Satan. Despite working very very hard to achieve everything I have I was told my accomplishments didn't matter and that I'm lazy. 3.5 gpa honor roll? Wow, you only have a 3.5, you're lazy. Also, wow, you must have to put in way too much effort to get honor roll, who are you trying to impress?
Things like that I heard a lot growing up.
I score 33 on the ACT? It's a stupid test that only tests your ability to take the ACT is what I'm told. Also that I put in more effort than I needed on something that doesn't matter that much.
I make the Varsity team for soccer in 10th grade, am awarded MVP and Most improved player when I've never actually played the sport prior to joining the team in 10th grade? Soccer's not a real sport and the 10-0 season record [4-6 the previous year] was purely because of good coaching and my teammates, they only gave me MVP because they felt sorry for me... not, you know, the 20+ goals and 7 assists I had or anything like that.
I never felt like I was awful. I never didn't love myself, like so many people assume is the case when it's discovered I have depression. I never hate myself. I live in a state where I often think that I'm the only one who does.
Relationships and friendships? I've been conditioned to think people aren't going to like me or care about me because growing up despite doing my best to be considerate, caring, and nice I was treated like I'm the spawn of Satan. Despite working very very hard to achieve everything I have I was told my accomplishments didn't matter and that I'm lazy. 3.5 gpa honor roll? Wow, you only have a 3.5, you're lazy. Also, wow, you must have to put in way too much effort to get honor roll, who are you trying to impress?
Things like that I heard a lot growing up.