My boss is a control freak nut-job

[Aries]

I ain't from USA but know that 20 years ago, if you lived in a small town rural area your employment opportunity was limited to US Post, US army and US prisons, all public sector with defined benefit pensions.

To stay in a job you hate and can't get on with co-workers sounds like torture to me

I like the job. I'm good with most of the co-workers. The boss is a horror show though. Maybe she'll get sick and die. She did have cancer a couple of years ago.

 

[Camden]

I’m currently dealing with a terrible boss who is scary and unapproachable and is highly passive aggressive in her ways of attacking me. Makes me dread going into work every day. I admit I’m a very shy and passive guy and approaching authority figures always makes me nervous. I’m anxious to the point that I throw up mornings before going into work, and I feel physically ill with headaches and tingling feet and fingers while at work. I keep a Lorazepam in my wallet at all times.

The latest incident came today when I was privately offered a promotion and a substantial raise from another member of management if I accepted his job offer. This made my current boss furious and I overheard her shouting at our HR manager and telling me something to the effect “What else do you want from me?”

The icing on the cake was her plan to punish me for attempting to leave her team and work for another boss. She went behind my back and cut my hours, giving me an entire week off. Not the first time this has happened...

She gave me almost no hours the entire month of January because I had requested time off for my brother’s wedding that month. I’ve learned the hard way to never ask her for any favors and avoid her at all costs. Needless to say I am actively looking for a new job to advance my career and escape this toxic work environment.

Bottom Line: Terrible boss makes me dread coming to work every day.

 

[Aries]

The latest incident came today when I was privately offered a promotion and a substantial raise from another member of management if I accepted his job offer.

Huh? You could have a job somewhere else in the company? If I could get one I would take it. I am looking.

My boss's apology was just a curve ball - as I expected. A couple of days ago I went upstairs to throw some bad food away and she saw that I wasn't at my desk for 15 minutes. When I got back from lunch I saw she had sent me a nasty e-mail accusing me of taking a break. Now she wants me to get permission and notify her any time I will not be at my desk or in the lab. I'm like a dog on an effing leash.

My boss had another brain dead day today. I pointed out that integration parameters on an instrument need to be changed but she said that was unethical. Totally false. They make the instruments so you can change the integration parameters because you have to change them when the response changes.

 

[Aries]

Now she's threatening to get me fired. For not following her orders. I reported her for giving unethical orders.

 

[Vincent]

I ain't from USA but know that 20 years ago, if you lived in a small town rural area your employment opportunity was limited to US Post, US army and US prisons, all public sector with defined benefit pensions.

That sounds like that particular area's situation. It certainly wasn't the situation of the typical US small town. US small towns do often have limited job opportunities, but hardly that bleak.

 

[Vincent]

I like the job. I'm good with most of the co-workers. The boss is a horror show though.

That's often how these situations go. When people resign, they're often quitting their supervisor. I've been there and have the T-shirt - several venues and dates on the back.

Maybe she'll get sick and die. She did have cancer a couple of years ago.

I get that she's causing you unnecessary problems and might even be malicious, but be careful about gazing into the abyss like that. Don't let the situation do that to do.

It sounds like six years is the amount of time you'll need to work there in order to be vested in the company's pension. That just means that you've been with the company long enough to get a pension payment. The amount of the payment depends on how long you worked for the company. If you quit at six years of employment, the monthly pension you'd start getting at 65 would be unlikely to buy a full tank of gas.

Pensions have pros and cons. One of the cons is they incentivize you to stay with the company. When you think about how easily supervisors can come and go, it's a good idea to have a retirement that you can take with you. That's one of the advantages of a 401(k). They're a little more hands-on than pensions, but it's not hard to learn the basics.

At the risk of being overly direct, it sounds like it's a matter of time before you're out of this current job for one reason or another and will probably have a 401(k) at your next job. If you aren't familiar with them, you might as well start learning. There are plenty of online guides about how to save for retirement, including in a 401(k). Here's one example: https://www.bankrate.com/retirement/how-to-save-for-retirement/

 

[Aries]

That's often how these situations go. When people resign, they're often quitting their supervisor. I've been there and have the T-shirt - several venues and dates on the back.


I get that she's causing you unnecessary problems and might even be malicious, but be careful about gazing into the abyss like that. Don't let the situation do that to do.

It sounds like six years is the amount of time you'll need to work there in order to be vested in the company's pension. That just means that you've been with the company long enough to get a pension payment. The amount of the payment depends on how long you worked for the company. If you quit at six years of employment, the monthly pension you'd start getting at 65 would be unlikely to buy a full tank of gas.

Pensions have pros and cons. One of the cons is they incentivize you to stay with the company. When you think about how easily supervisors can come and go, it's a good idea to have a retirement that you can take with you. That's one of the advantages of a 401(k). They're a little more hands-on than pensions, but it's not hard to learn the basics.

At the risk of being overly direct, it sounds like it's a matter of time before you're out of this current job for one reason or another and will probably have a 401(k) at your next job. If you aren't familiar with them, you might as well start learning. There are plenty of online guides about how to save for retirement, including in a 401(k). Here's one example: https://www.bankrate.com/retirement/how-to-save-for-retirement/

A full pension would be half of my weekly pay now. It's actually half of the top 3 years of your pay so it should be more than that because my pay should go up in the next 5 years. yes it's down to 5 now. It's a good deal. If you can last that long. But the situation has gone way beyond the fight over my break times. My boss has ordered me to do things that are blatantly unethical. It could even be illegal. But the program chief hasn't wanted to get involved. Another chemist and I finally approached her and let her know how serious the situation is and she countermanded my boss's unethical order. But now my boss is very angry at me. I told her I would rather be fired for being ethical now rather than be fired for being unethical later. She kept saying it wasn't unethical and finally said that ethics are arbitrary. That was pretty bad. Now she denies saying it though. I have still reported it to the chief and Quality Assurance specialist. I'm fighting this. If I do get the boot I'm just going to look for a low paying low stress job. I don't care about a 401K. I just need to make sure I have some income and health insurance. The insurance is really important. I have savings and could be wiped out if I get sick without having insurance.

 

[Aries]

Update. the boss got demoted a couple of months ago, but she is still sticking around and making trouble. She has committed lab fraud once and tried again a couple of times. She keeps doing everything she can to hold up results. the lab I work at could get shut down.

 

[Doug97]

how to outwit workplace jerks