bin_tenn
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I know this is the case for many others as well, and I've shared these things on other forums in the past. When I think about how anxiety makes me feel, and how severe it's been at times, over the past several years, I wonder what life was like before anxiety. Then I realize I've had anxiety for the majority of my life, so I've never truly been free of it. I can think of events back when I was 7 or 8 years old that I now recognize as manifestations of anxiety.
One particular instance that occurred to me recently happened when I was in my late teens. At the time I had never had a panic attack, nor did I know I had anxiety. That didn't start until I was about 17. But before that, I once had a dream in which my mum told me "one of your sisters has cancer, and you should get checked because it's contagious." Weird! LoL. At the time I had no health worries. And when I woke up, I thought "oh, it was a bad dream" and everything was fine.
I recall sitting up late at night crying when I was 10 or 11, as well as times after that, trying to figure out how many years my parents had left before they would inevitably die. I was terrified at the thought of them dying. I was even more terrified when I would guess that they only had 10-15 years left (which was quite inaccurate).
I recall other less specific instances when I was younger in which I exhibited anxiety symptoms, but I didn't know it at the time. I thought it was entirely normal. I didn't know my thoughts or worries were irrational and I had no idea what anxiety was.
I didn't experience a lot of death when I was young. Relatives didn't start passing away until I was in my teens, and those were expected / not unusual (e.g. old age and the complications that come with it). I didn't have a particularly stressful childhood. These are things I've talked with my therapist about at length. She doesn't believe my anxiety is necessarily about past experiences (at least not entirely), but moreso about learned behaviors and genetic predisposition. Mom's side has a lot of depression and anxiety.
Have you had this sort of revelation, when you suddenly realize anxiety isn't so new to you after all? How did you realize it, and does it change the way you perceive or approach having anxiety?
One particular instance that occurred to me recently happened when I was in my late teens. At the time I had never had a panic attack, nor did I know I had anxiety. That didn't start until I was about 17. But before that, I once had a dream in which my mum told me "one of your sisters has cancer, and you should get checked because it's contagious." Weird! LoL. At the time I had no health worries. And when I woke up, I thought "oh, it was a bad dream" and everything was fine.
I recall sitting up late at night crying when I was 10 or 11, as well as times after that, trying to figure out how many years my parents had left before they would inevitably die. I was terrified at the thought of them dying. I was even more terrified when I would guess that they only had 10-15 years left (which was quite inaccurate).
I recall other less specific instances when I was younger in which I exhibited anxiety symptoms, but I didn't know it at the time. I thought it was entirely normal. I didn't know my thoughts or worries were irrational and I had no idea what anxiety was.
I didn't experience a lot of death when I was young. Relatives didn't start passing away until I was in my teens, and those were expected / not unusual (e.g. old age and the complications that come with it). I didn't have a particularly stressful childhood. These are things I've talked with my therapist about at length. She doesn't believe my anxiety is necessarily about past experiences (at least not entirely), but moreso about learned behaviors and genetic predisposition. Mom's side has a lot of depression and anxiety.
Have you had this sort of revelation, when you suddenly realize anxiety isn't so new to you after all? How did you realize it, and does it change the way you perceive or approach having anxiety?
