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Is This Depression?

Camden

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Sometimes I feel like my anxiety is so pervasive, it leaves me feeling sad and hopeless. This feeling is worst in early mornings and it usually passes as the day goes on. I’ll wake up feeling physically I’ll due to the anxiety of the coming day, and then feel sad and tearful as the morning goes on.

I wistfully think about how the anxiety interferes with my desire to do things I want to do, such as visit friends for lunch, go shopping on my lunch break, drive out to visit family on the weekends, cook nice meals, go hiking and skiing, etc. I wonder about how different my life would be if I didn’t have anxiety. I feel like my anxiety has held me back throughout my life and has made me fear challenging myself and getting into situations with the possibility of failure.

I wish I could just “pray away” my anxiety, but as a Christian, I know there’s much more to it than that. A wise pastor once told me that anxiety is just an emotion and it’s not a sin, nor is it something to be ashamed of. The anxiety causes me so much pain and so much mental fatigue, that I end up feeling guilty anyway. I am afraid of it affecting the way I relate to others and interfering with my job performance.

I sometimes feel resentful and jealous of friends, peers, and siblings who do not have my same battle with anxiety and have gone on to do amazing things in their lives. I feel like it’s just not fair. Are these complex emotions signs of depression?
 

MATD

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Yep. Very common. It is unusual for anxiety to not be accompanied by depression. The good news is that as your anxiety abates, so does the depression. As I said in your other post, give yourself credit for your efforts and this will increase your self confidence. You certainly did speak to a very wise pastor. Take heed of his words, they are true. As you said about the anxiety, yes it is pervasive, it affects us entirely. All the feelings and thoughts are Simply a result of the A & D, nothing more. It’s important to recognize them as such. For every thought or feeling, “ it’s just anxiety”. Don’t label them as anything more. Don’t dwell on them, it’s Only the voice of anxiety. Treat them as they really are, Only Anxiety. I like to ponder on scripture, many times a particular scripture will pop in my head in response to something I have been dealing with. So I really like to think about it, hash it around and apply it to my particular issue. It ‘s a great way to see how God works to help us heal and draw closer to Him. In fact, I suspect this is His way of helping me learn. They say He works in mysterious ways. I think this is one of them. One of my favorite scriptures is in Psalms where David says “Thy word I have hid in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee.” I have studied the Bible a good bit, and this scripture reminds me of how glad I am that I did, because of the many times scripture pops into my thoughts just when I need them most.
 
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derrickmyles

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Hi, I hope you are doing great. Well in my opinion your signs are closely related to depression, but you can surely control them this is just the start. Your anxiety is taking you towards other mental health issues, You are doing great to control over it, but you need emotional help, you need to share your feelings with others, don't hold them inside you it will take you to depression. Along with coping strategies ( Exercise, yoga, deep breathing, healthy lifestyle changes), you should try counseling it will help you get rid of depression and anxiety both at a time.
 

Camden

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Hi, I hope you are doing great. Well in my opinion your signs are closely related to depression, but you can surely control them this is just the start. Your anxiety is taking you towards other mental health issues, You are doing great to control over it, but you need emotional help, you need to share your feelings with others, don't hold them inside you it will take you to depression. Along with coping strategies ( Exercise, yoga, deep breathing, healthy lifestyle changes), you should try counseling it will help you get rid of depression and anxiety both at a time.
Thank you so much Derrick! I feel like I do indeed bottle up my emotions too much. I find it hard to open up about them even though I know most people I know will listen and lend a helping hand. I admit I think it’s a pride fixation within myself and I find it embarrassing to discuss my issues (anxiety, workplace drama, worry about ill family members, etc.) I also feel guilty for burdening others about what’s on my mind.

I agree that this is a good chance for me to make some changes. Try some exercise, improve sleep hygiene, see my counselor more often, and challenge myself to talk about it. I want to “talk about it” more without sounding like I’m venting. I’m ready to take the next steps in confronting my emotions in a healthy and productive way.
 
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