First Time Homebuyer Remorse

[JustBeHappyG]

Hello community, please help! I moved to a new city about 4 months ago with my husband to start a new job, which I love. I tell my parents often how much I love it here, and how much I really like my job, etc. So my husband and I closed on our dream home on Monday, and after moving all boxes in the garage, I literally walked into the empty house, no furniture, and thought I was going to have a heart attack. I have GAD and have had 2 other major episodes before in my life. My husband is super supportive, but yesterday I was home all day crying. I walked in to this beautiful huge empty house, no furniture, not even a fridge, boxes everywhere, and I had such panic and anxiety. Did I make the right decision? Do I even like this city? Do I like my job? Do I love my husband enough to buy a house with him? What if I married the wrong person and that's why I'm anxious (all the while he's texting me anxiety support and reaffirming how we will get through this together). Financially we are fine, everything is great, we just ordered brand new furniture - but I can't help this feeling of anxiety, hopelessness, dread, like I made a mistake. I feel very overwhelmed.

I feel like such an idiot to have anxiety over such a great blessing, but I can't help it. I just want to cry and run away and hide under a blanket. Has anyone else felt this, or does anyone have any insight to this?

 

[He Man]

JustBe, hi..
I think buying a house is at the top of the list for modern anxieties (it was for me too)..
Both anxious & otherwise non-anxious people can be overwhelmed by the process.. waiting for loan approval, shopping, negotiating, endless paperwork, moving in, etc..

My advice, give it sometime.. enjoy each new day decorating & customizing your home.. Re-evaluate in a couple months. If it turns out the house is wrong, at least you'll have some equity. And people sell all the time, not a real big deal. I live in a heavy, transient military area. I see ppl buy & then sell within 2 or 3 years all the time.
Keep us posted, peace.

 

[JustBeHappyG]

JustBe, hi..
I think buying a house is at the top of the list for modern anxieties (it was for me too)..
Both anxious & otherwise non-anxious people can be overwhelmed by the process.. waiting for loan approval, shopping, negotiating, endless paperwork, moving in, etc..

My advice, give it sometime.. enjoy each new day decorating & customizing your home.. Re-evaluate in a couple months. If it turns out the house is wrong, at least you'll have some equity. And people sell all the time, not a real big deal. I live in a heavy, transient military area. I see ppl buy & then sell within 2 or 3 years all the time.
Keep us posted, peace.

Thank you He Man. I definitely think I need to just take it day by day. I think what I'm feeling is a combination with responsibility and being overwhelmed.

 

[MissUnderstood]

Home-buying is stressful. Period!You wonder if you made the right decision. It's the overwhelming change,and work,and the huge financial obligation that is involved. SO overwhelming. I read that buying a house is one of the highest on the list of stressful events. You are not abnormal for feeling this way. I think once you get all the furniture in and get it decorated, it won't look so huge and overwhelming, to you. Give it a chance. It takes time to get used to it. It's so nice that your husband is so supportive! Thank God, for that! I was married to a man that not only did not support me, but ran me down into the ground and stole my self-confidence. the fact that you have a supportive loving husband makes all the difference in the world! I should know....I have one, now!

 

[He Man]

Home-buying is stressful. Period!You wonder if you made the right decision. It's the overwhelming change,and work,and the huge financial obligation that is involved. SO overwhelming. I read that buying a house is one of the highest on the list of stressful events. You are not abnormal for feeling this way. I think once you get all the furniture in and get it decorated, it won't look so huge and overwhelming, to you. Give it a chance. It takes time to get used to it. It's so nice that your husband is so supportive! Thank God, for that! I was married to a man that not only did not support me, but ran me down into the ground and stole my self-confidence. the fact that you have a supportive loving husband makes all the difference in the world! I should know....I have one, now!

It's been about 5 months since this thread was started.. I wonder how the home purchase is working out (?)
JustbehappyG are you out there ?..

 

[JustBeHappyG]

It's been about 5 months since this thread was started.. I wonder how the home purchase is working out (?)
JustbehappyG are you out there ?..

Hi! Thank you for checking in. You were absolutely right about the house. It took time, but I took it day by day, and did self talk into changing negative thoughts into positives. Now, the house is my home, and I'm so comfortable there - I can't wait to go "home" everyday. I've realized that with my anxiety specifically, it's triggered by change and stress. My anxiety is that I will make a decision that's "permanent" that I'll be "stuck" in, which is why I sometimes attribute it to my husband and my decision to marry him. I'm going through that again this week, and it's because of a new puppy in the last 8 months, my husband's shift change, my company being sold - it all kind of smashed together on Friday last week and I had a melt down and now this week I'm back to "did I marry the right person? Do I even like my house?". So frustrating feeling like I'm going around and around, but I'm trying to work myself through it all.

 

[ScaredyKat]

I admire you so much. Good one you! I wish I could go out and buy a new house! My anxiety keeps me trapped with my own house no matter what goes wrong with it. I like my neighbourhood. One day I would love to buy a larger house with its own garden in the same area and move out. Castles in the sky.....