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Broken Dreams

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Anxious4eva

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So I stumbled on this forum due to searching for a scrap of help and decided to post or vent out my frustrations and hopefully someone here can relate to the constant anxiety I deal with on a daily basis. I've had anxiety now for almost 5 yrs after spending a 30K on medical tests to find out just what was the physical problem I was dealing with till all the specialist came to the same conclusion that it was a mental issue in which I went to my local GP and went onto anti depressants, the Dr was concerned it was Anxiety so he hit the nail on the head and I started my life with a label and a solution till now recently my Father was diagnosed with Dementia which drove me through once again breaking point and now I am back to square one. Only this time I have been one 4 different prescriptions and 3 different sleeping meds which side note I don't sleep till usually 4am, so they arnt working. I have just recently visited the Dr like 2 days ago and his words were " There is nothing more I can do for you " - It felt as if he handed me a loaded gun and basically nudged me to pull the trigger. Im currently working 2 Jobs to pay for medical bills etc and now this happens. I honestly don't know what to do next, the anxiety has some terrible symptoms which interfere with my work and I most of the time I just dont leave the house... I guess this is more than a vent but a plea for compassion...
 
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Akenn

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Anxious4eva said:
So I stumbled on this forum due to searching for a scrap of help and decided to post or vent out my frustrations and hopefully someone here can relate to the constant anxiety I deal with on a daily basis. I've had anxiety now for almost 5 yrs after spending a 30K on medical tests to find out just what was the physical problem I was dealing with till all the specialist came to the same conclusion that it was a mental issue in which I went to my local GP and went onto anti depressants, the Dr was concerned it was Anxiety so he hit the nail on the head and I started my life with a label and a solution till now recently my Father was diagnosed with Dementia which drove me through once again breaking point and now I am back to square one. Only this time I have been one 4 different prescriptions and 3 different sleeping meds which side note I don't sleep till usually 4am, so they arnt working. I have just recently visited the Dr like 2 days ago and his words were " There is nothing more I can do for you " - It felt as if he handed me a loaded gun and basically nudged me to pull the trigger. Im currently working 2 Jobs to pay for medical bills etc and now this happens. I honestly don't know what to do next, the anxiety has some terrible symptoms which interfere with my work and I most of the time I just dont leave the house... I guess this is more than a vent but a plea for compassion...
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I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I think I have health anxiety. I have been to ER 3 times and admitted to hospital to be told by doctors I have minor issues. Well these minor issues have made me feel so sick and hospital stay left me with what I think may be PTSD. I had terrible side effects from medication to treat my blood pressure. Really took a toll on me. I went to my primary doctor that has known me for over 10 yrs. He was not quick to label anxiety but said it may be a GI issue. But he did urge me to start anxiety medication to help get me through this difficult time. I haven't started it as I dont want more side effects. I have had severe stress in my family for more than 4 yrs. It finally came out in the worst way possible. Have really struggled to feel better and be around anyone. Please know you are not alone. I set up several doctor appointments and still to be told I am fine even though I do not feel fine. I feel my symptoms are real but they disagree and say you need to relax. Very frustrating. Best wishes.
 
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Anxious4eva

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Akenn said:
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I think I have health anxiety. I have been to ER 3 times and admitted to hospital to be told by doctors I have minor issues. Well these minor issues have made me feel so sick and hospital stay left me with what I think may be PTSD. I had terrible side effects from medication to treat my blood pressure. Really took a toll on me. I went to my primary doctor that has known me for over 10 yrs. He was not quick to label anxiety but said it may be a GI issue. But he did urge me to start anxiety medication to help get me through this difficult time. I haven't started it as I dont want more side effects. I have had severe stress in my family for more than 4 yrs. It finally came out in the worst way possible. Have really struggled to feel better and be around anyone. Please know you are not alone. I set up several doctor appointments and still to be told I am fine even though I do not feel fine. I feel my symptoms are real but they disagree and say you need to relax. Very frustrating. Best wishes.
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My sister is a Psychologist but in another country, unfortunately she can't help me as much as I would like but she too said that I might be suffering from PTSD, as I watched my mother die at 16 and now im loosing my father...So far all thats really keeping me on this Earth is helping my 2nd sister with my fathers finances apart from that I probably would of taken the shortcut out awhile ago... thanx for the kind word most appreciate it!
 
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Hurt&Hopeful

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Hey there - first of all, don't give up. I have been dealing with anxiety for as long as I can remember, and I have been where you are right now. I had been on and off of meds, didn't sleep, couldn't leave the house, lots of medical issues and exams.. About 8 years ago, I came pretty close to taking the "shortcut out" as well because I just didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel at the time. I'm so glad now that I didn't. It's been a journey, but I'm come so far. Right now, I'm on one anti-depressant medication that helps keep it kind of leveled out. I don't have constant panic attacks anymore - still have one occasionally, but they aren't as scary, and I can recover a lot more quickly than I did before.

What you said about PTSD is not crazy at all, by the way - I was diagnosed with "complex" PTSD about 4 years ago, and started going to therapy. I had done lots of talk therapy and medication over the years, but trauma-focused therapy really works on trying to heal your brain and make your body respond differently to what's going on around you. It's been game changing for me - is there someone that you can talk to that is closer than your sister? Have you tried any kind of therapy?

Either way, hang in there - there is a great community of people here that have ALL been where you are (or are there right now). It can get better. It will get better.
 
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