So I have suffered from health since I was probably 23 or so. It's a very long story I won't bore you with basically I've diagnosed anything from pancreatic cancer, lupus, leukemia, skin cancer, you name it. I went on medication a few years ago because I fell into a big bout of depression. So yearly I've done an FIT test (occult stool blood test) and this year it came back positive. I had a colonoscopy about 11-12 years ago. I contacted my doctor and he said not to worry that he sees this all the time. Could be hemorrhoids or other issues. Or just a false positive. But he recommended a colonoscopy. When I saw the result, I got cold, my heart started racing and I had to take some xanax (which I only use in cases of extreme anxiety). I'm under 45 years of age and have had IBS all my life. But here I am again, making myself miserable with worry and on a day where I should be having fun (July 4th in the U.S.) instead i'm in bed. Feeling super sad, scared, anxious and alone.