Worried About Getting Back to Social Activities

[Camden]

I’m meeting my friend for a boat show this weekend for the first time in several months since it’s back in season. The event begins early at about 7 a.m., when my anxiety is usually worst. I’ll be in a big outdoor area with my friend and have no place to go if I have an anxious moment. I would be so embarrassed if I had an anxiety attack in front of one of my friends, and I’d worry they would not want to see me anymore after witnessing one of my episodes.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really looking to doing this. My buddy and I have met up to do this many times before. I’ve been having elevated anxiety in the mornings on week days and I’m afraid it will prevent me from fully enjoying the event. It’s such an obsessive worry for me today.

 

[MATD]

You have two choices, go or not go. This is a perfect opportunity to practice acceptance. If you don’t go, you will be giving in to your fear of embarrassment and an episode. If you do go, you may enjoy yourself. You are letting your anxiety dictate your decision. If you go, you could let the buddy know about your anxiety. As we already discussed, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You don’t have to go into great detail with him. On the other hand, not telling him could be the incentive you need to practice on the go to keep it together. Since you aren’t going to work and facing the daily triggers, you may find that your morning anxiety vanishes when you walk out the door. It really is your decision, not the anxiety’s decision or your feeling’s decision. If you keep shying away from opportunities, your recovery is slowed or stalled. You are giving in to the feelings of anxiety. We do things in spite of the feelings and anxiety. That is not fighting, but countering the anxiety. Speak your voice of truth to yourself. All you have to do is your best and it doesn’t have to be perfect. I’ve seen you handle worse things at work.

 

[Camden]

You have two choices, go or not go. This is a perfect opportunity to practice acceptance. If you don’t go, you will be giving in to your fear of embarrassment and an episode. If you do go, you may enjoy yourself. You are letting your anxiety dictate your decision. If you go, you could let the buddy know about your anxiety. As we already discussed, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You don’t have to go into great detail with him. On the other hand, not telling him could be the incentive you need to practice on the go to keep it together. Since you aren’t going to work and facing the daily triggers, you may find that your morning anxiety vanishes when you walk out the door. It really is your decision, not the anxiety’s decision or your feeling’s decision. If you keep shying away from opportunities, your recovery is slowed or stalled. You are giving in to the feelings of anxiety. We do things in spite of the feelings and anxiety. That is not fighting, but countering the anxiety. Speak your voice of truth to yourself. All you have to do is your best and it doesn’t have to be perfect. I’ve seen you handle worse things at work.

You’re absolutely right MATD! I wouldn’t have thought of this as a way to enact acceptance. I am still working on accepting the anxiety rather than fighting it. I initially expected to fight the anxiety and try to push it away throughout my fun day coming up. Thanks for helping get a better perspective.

As for doing or not, I’d just be disappointed in myself and bummed out that I missed something I love doing if I let the anxiety dictate my decision. Staying home whether it be from work, or anything else is not a vacation in my mind. I would rather be strong and face my issues than just run away. I know rationally there’s a low chance of my having an anxiety attack or getting sick, and a very high chance that I’ll have an awesome day with a good friend doing something we enjoy. I’ll take those odds!

I’m trying to use acceptance and tell myself “Anxiety won’t hurt me, I can still do what I need to do.” Engrossing myself in a task that takes a lot of my attention helps because I can easier ignore the anxious feelings and their mental and physical signs.

I’m going to reframe this weekend from a dreaded struggle with anxiety, to a nice day with ignored anxiety that will fade away when I focus on what matters the most. It’s easy to reframe my perspective, and I consider that the first step of my acceptance journey.

 

[MATD]

Now that’s how you change your perspective! Here’s another little tidbit about your embarrassment issue. Embarrassment is only an emotion, just like love or fear. Unlike love and fear, it is a fleeting feeling, it doesn’t last as long as love. When weighing the situation , the only person embarrassment affects is us. And most times when we feel embarrassment it is our own lack of confidence that causes it. When you break it down that way, it gives us the realization that we can and do have the option to “feel embarrassed” or to accept ourself as imperfect and be ok with it. It’s a confidence builder. Enjoy your outing, don’t expect anything, that just makes us tense, just go with it, be you for you. Enjoy the wind in your face and the warmth of the sunshine and the company of a friend. Always enjoy chatting with you.

 

[Camden]

Now that’s how you change your perspective! Here’s another little tidbit about your embarrassment issue. Embarrassment is only an emotion, just like love or fear. Unlike love and fear, it is a fleeting feeling, it doesn’t last as long as love. When weighing the situation , the only person embarrassment affects is us. And most times when we feel embarrassment it is our own lack of confidence that causes it. When you break it down that way, it gives us the realization that we can and do have the option to “feel embarrassed” or to accept ourself as imperfect and be ok with it. It’s a confidence builder. Enjoy your outing, don’t expect anything, that just makes us tense, just go with it, be you for you. Enjoy the wind in your face and the warmth of the sunshine and the company of a friend. Always enjoy chatting with you.

Thanks! Really good to know that the embarrassment and fear of rejection I worry about can be accepted and conquered, just like general anxiety. Sometimes it just takes talking it out to understand my anxiety and concerns are nowhere near as bad as I allow them to be. Thank you for always lending a helping hand

 

[MATD]

In my neck of the woods, we had a saying. Two heads are better than one (even if one is a cabbage head). You know it’s discussing and sharing information that helps us learn. How do we ever know anything unless we ask or put our heads together? As I said, it’s always enjoyable talking with you. You have the ability to be open minded, quite a positive attribute that will greatly enhance your life.

 

[Camden]

In my neck of the woods, we had a saying. Two heads are better than one (even if one is a cabbage head). You know it’s discussing and sharing information that helps us learn. How do we ever know anything unless we ask or put our heads together? As I said, it’s always enjoyable talking with you. You have the ability to be open minded, quite a positive attribute that will greatly enhance your life.

Yeah I’m game to try just about anything if I know it will help me! Keeping quiet and bottling up emotions and concerns is a bad habit of mine that I’m trying to gradually overcome. Just a simple discussion with anyone about my thoughts is a small thing that makes a huge difference.