butchfiasco
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2018
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Hi!
I'm a 21 year old college junior who is working 62-75 hours a week. I work as a barista and in retail in a tourist town. I'm also in a relationship and will be moving away for school - permanently. All I've been doing is working and seeing my girlfriend. I haven't had the time to see my friends (they also work) or even do anything remotely related to a hobby.
Recently, my girlfriend just got scheduled to work 2 jobs - textbook packaging and also retail in the same town. She's working up to 62 hours a week and our schedules don't match up anymore. For whatever reason, every time she brings up how busy she is, I get defensive - I get this jealous/frustrated feeling. This feeling that I need to be busier than her. I've found myself asking how busy her job was to determine if I was busier or not - and get this sense of satisfaction when I am. Furthermore, she gets tired easily and I've accepted that we won't be able to do much before I move away because we'll both be tired. I'm frustrated at her schedule more so than I'm frustrated at her - but this irritation/annoyance has yet to go away.
I'm already working insane hours and, yet, I feel the need to be busier than her.
This petty feeling of jealousy/frustration is really irritating. It's made my anxiety/stress spike up to severe levels. I talked to her about this and she reassured me it was okay and that it hasn't hurt her in anyway (which was my biggest fear). Regardless, I need this petty satisfaction that I'm busier than she is and I want it to stop. I started to believe I'm a toxic partner and bad girlfriend and that my behavior is toxic.
If anyone can offer any advice about this feeling or situation or anything, that would be great.
Thank you!
I'm a 21 year old college junior who is working 62-75 hours a week. I work as a barista and in retail in a tourist town. I'm also in a relationship and will be moving away for school - permanently. All I've been doing is working and seeing my girlfriend. I haven't had the time to see my friends (they also work) or even do anything remotely related to a hobby.
Recently, my girlfriend just got scheduled to work 2 jobs - textbook packaging and also retail in the same town. She's working up to 62 hours a week and our schedules don't match up anymore. For whatever reason, every time she brings up how busy she is, I get defensive - I get this jealous/frustrated feeling. This feeling that I need to be busier than her. I've found myself asking how busy her job was to determine if I was busier or not - and get this sense of satisfaction when I am. Furthermore, she gets tired easily and I've accepted that we won't be able to do much before I move away because we'll both be tired. I'm frustrated at her schedule more so than I'm frustrated at her - but this irritation/annoyance has yet to go away.
I'm already working insane hours and, yet, I feel the need to be busier than her.
This petty feeling of jealousy/frustration is really irritating. It's made my anxiety/stress spike up to severe levels. I talked to her about this and she reassured me it was okay and that it hasn't hurt her in anyway (which was my biggest fear). Regardless, I need this petty satisfaction that I'm busier than she is and I want it to stop. I started to believe I'm a toxic partner and bad girlfriend and that my behavior is toxic.
If anyone can offer any advice about this feeling or situation or anything, that would be great.
Thank you!