Who here is sick of it?

[Concernedgal]

You ever wonder as a child when they taught you how to share . That was where I learned to put other a before myself. But. Where does that end ? It teaches people to put to be push overs like I am . Since when we're we taught as children not be good to yourself? Sonce when we're we taught to put ourselves on the back burner? I was taught as a child that if you didn't share then you were a bad person. Shouldn't we also be taught that there's a limit though? We live in a society where people take advantage of each other and people like me .. a type of person that wouldn't love anything more than to make others happy gets the worst of it. Why is it so wrong to be selfish in life? It seems they get to be happy while people like me and people like you. . sacrifice. Is us sacrificing ourselves causing at least some of our mental illness? What your opinion?

 

[XmasCarol52]

I hear what u r saying.It seems to me if we put others before ourselves we do get stepped on my mother always told me to if you are nice to someone they will be nice to me,that is not true.I have been nice to plenty of people and yet they walk all over me and treat me like dirt even now especially because i have this mental illness.Is it our fault we have something wrong with our brains? I don't think so what i also get sick and tired of people poking fun of our illness they call us all kinds of names and that is so uncalled for.You are not bad just because u don't share,but i was taught to you have to share.I suppose if u r a little baby maybe ,but now it is so hard to do anything when you don't even know who you can trust.I don't know about u but i have an awful hard time trusting people,because some of them say one thing and do something else. I am tired of being stabbed in the back.

 

[Concernedgal]

I 'm also tired of being stabbed in the back. And how dare people make fun of us? I mean... who the hell do you think you are? I came into work today and a girl at worked yelled at me the minute I came in.she told me that she never wanted to speak to me again and I told her that I was just fine with that. She seemed nic eat first but, as I got to know her .. she seemed to be a short fuse with a temper and the littlest things would set her off. I later found out that she was fake. I don't like fake people and whatever rumor was being spread... I wish someone would let me in on it. Geez. Why do people spread untrue rumors? I thought about quitting and then i thought about switching to another shift but, in the end I decided that i'm not going alter my life for someone else. This is my life too.your not in control of it. I've always been nice to this girl and she had no reason that I can think of to treat me that way. That's why I was thinking about sha ring and how it made me a pushover. And come to think about it. ... I suppose I can be too trusting too.

 

[XmasCarol52]

People make fun of mental illness all of the time,it is disgusting if they asks me.How dare they just because someone has a problem with there brain doesn't give anyone the right to poke fun of us,I often wonder how someone would feel if they had a physical illness and we made fun of them?I would never do such a thing.That is just awful what that girl did to you see is immature.She will get her's.That is what my mom always says the bad people will get what is coming to them. There was no excuse for her to be mean like that to you.None at all .here is a big hug with much love and i do hope that helps u some.Hugs

 

[Concernedgal]

HUGS. Right back. And thank you. We often work the same shift and I guess I will just have to learn how to keep toxic people out of my life. I'm there to work and nothing else. And they say i'm mentally ill but, what that girl did to me today... she may need medication herself.. Not saying that as a joke. She really may have a problem. Something in her life has to be really wrong for her to want to take it out on somebody else. That's why i#m just going to let it ride and try not to let it bother me. Although it was a hard day at work today... maybe next time we can just stay civil to each other. But, that's about it though. We could never go back to being friends after that show she put on this morning. Thank you so much for being a friend when I needed one.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Just please be careful I don't want u to get hurt every again.believe me I know what it feels like to get hurt.It makes one feel like they are useless.I feel useless anyway.

 

[Concernedgal]

You shouldn't feel useless. You've helped me out more than you'll ever know. I don't know what I would've done without you. Besides I came up with a solution. In life everyone has there problems and I have created myself a little imaginaryfiling cabinet in my mind.. this problem. .. I filed it under" no problem ". So i'm not going to allow it to be a problem for me. Does that sound crazy? Be honest. I just don't need the drama. Now back to you... so why do you feel useless? Because your agoraphobic? That's no reason to feel useless. I admit sometimes that I also feel useless but, there no reason to. WHAT About THE WOMAM Behind THE agoriphobia? You can't just ignore her because of our mental illness. And that's the key word too... illness. Would you feel this way over being diabetic? No. Or for having the flu? No. So just please don't be so hard on yourself. This mental illness is something that has happened to us... it shouldn't define who we are. It took me a really long time to realize that. Your not useless. .. believe me.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Thank you for such kind words,i guess it is because I cant go anywhere can't even help my own mother if she needs it.I feel like what good am I?You know what i mean ,my friends tell me they are very lucky to have me.I mean while that is so nice to hear I cannot understand why.I suppose a lot of it has to do with my mother she still treats me like I am two ,in the past I would never stick up for myself but now she has to know how I feel but when I do she hangs up on me and wont call me for about a week but guess what I wont give in anymore i cannot and will not let her lay a guilt trip on me anymore .She makes me feel useless all she ever talks about someone has a good job and they make a lot of money.Makes me feel useless. I try to help others how is that useless?I do not know but she always made me feel useless.Remember she says mental illness people are not all there or in there right mind.That pisses me off.We are having brain problems if u want to call it that but do not go and tell me we are not right in the brain.geez hugs to you

 

[Concernedgal]

All my life i've been mistreated ... Still am . I have a self absorbed selfish husband that isn't a stranger to name calling and u also have people at work that also hate me. I see fellow employees yesterday hanging around her car... it appears that everybody is seems to be taking her side. I never want to see any of those people again. Never. Are they afraid of her so they take her side or was I just born to be a punching bag? I'm thinking seriously about changing my life dramatically. I have some changes to make. I need to do something different because i'm not happy. I'm not happy at all. I thought about suicide again about an hour ago. It would be so much easier to end the pain. It's just so Real. Why? Why must we hurt? Is wanting to be happy too much to ask? Why are these mental illnesses so hard on us? Why is the world so hard on us? Please give me some advice. What do I do about the people at work? Despite what I said earlier. . I can't just sweep the problem under a rug or ( file it as no problem ) in my imaginary filing cabinet. How do I handle this?

 

[XmasCarol52]

Oh dear I do wish I had some answers unless u can avoid those people all together I don't know what to tell you.It isn't easy when you are around them all the time.Oh sweety please don't hurt yourself I would feel lost without you,I really do care about what happens to you.I am in the same boat as you,I thought of doing away with myself just a couple of days ago but i thought about my kids and grand kids and i don't want to that to them Sometimes we just have to fight with this illness I know i fight with myself all the time,i wish this damn disorder would just go away for good,I am sick of being a shamed worried and scared... Hugs i think you could use a lot of those.

 

[Concernedgal]

What I could use is support... And that's what I have in you. Just keep being there for me. I'll keep you updated of how it goes everyday .

 

[XmasCarol52]

I will be here for you honey always.That is a promise.I just want to help in anyway that I can.This illness SUCKS

 

[Concernedgal]

Thank you.

 

[XmasCarol52]

You are so welcome

 

[Concernedgal]

I 'm scheduled to go back tomarrow. Wish me luck.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I can do better then that I will say a prayer for you.. I would hope that would work,but lately even God is not listening to me..Maybe he hates me u know sometimes i feel like everyone hates me.When I was a wee young girl my mother once told me that I would never have any friends,and when i tell her i have some now ,she says REALLY She even made fun of my looks.some mother i only brought her up because she said some mean things to me.She also said I would never get married either because nobody would want me,,,and I should consider myself lucky that Bob wanted me and he would put up with me,put up with me,meaning my mental illness, I should think we wouldn't have to have anyone put up with us.. goodnight it i after 1 so i need my sleep.

 

[Concernedgal]

Gods always listening it's just that sonetimes... he doesn't answer prayers. Today was a pretty good day at work. When I almost arrivedat work this morning. . I had a panic attack thinking about the way it could go. When I got there I realized. .. she was the only one with the problem. She gave me a dirty look today and you know what I did? I smiled. I freaking smiled . I let her know right then and there that she can just cool it because I don't care anymore. Another girl at work tried to stir the pot today and I told her to mind her own business. My exact words were" i'm not even worried about it, what are you?" That was so cool. I came through the day with flying colors. It was awesome. Anymore trouble from her though. . I will have to get management involved .

 

[XmasCarol52]

Good for you I am so proud of you.Right now I am going to go and light a candle for my uncle,u can light candles on the internet u know.He isn't doing to well and he has cancer among other things.If he dies this will be the second husband my aunt lost.So I am worried about him years ago I use to date his son. Anyway do not let anyone push you around.You don't need her crap.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Gods always listening it's just that sonetimes... he doesn't answer prayers. Today was a pretty good day at work. When I almost arrivedat work this morning. . I had a panic attack thinking about the way it could go. When I got there I realized. .. she was the only one with the problem. She gave me a dirty look today and you know what I did? I smiled. I freaking smiled . I let her know right then and there that she can just cool it because I don't care anymore. Another girl at work tried to stir the pot today and I told her to mind her own business. My exact words were" i'm not even worried about it, what are you?" That was so cool. I came through the day with flying colors. It was awesome. Anymore trouble from her though. . I will have to get management involved .

I just want to say I love you and here is a huge hug Hug

 

[Concernedgal]

Aww. I love you too @XmasCarol52. HUGS. I'm realy sorry to hear about your uncle. Can I ask you something? What's it like to go to a therapist? I'm trying to get in but, i've been put on a waiting list. This woman is supposed to provide discounted rates for low income people. And I really want to get in. The only time I might have spoken to therapist in the pre interview to get into the mental health facility in my area but, i'm not sure if that was a social worker or a therapist.