When meeting the parents goes wrong

[hades_leae]

Has anyone had a situation where you were going to meet your boyfriend/girlfriends parents and it just did not go the way you wanted because anxiety took over at different moments?

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I haven't had bad experiences when it comes to this one, but I have been really anxious and over thinking in general every time that I went to my ex boyfriend house, not because they were they parents, it's just because new people in general are not the most pleasing thing for me, though. His parents were really good, nice and supportive people, and that helped a lot.

 

[Jemina]

I had a bad experience with my ex's father after my ex passed away. He was a bit of an abusive drunk anyway but he badly beat me up because his son died and he blamed me for what happened. He never liked me much in the first place and made me dread going there because there would be snide remarks. He has made me scared of ever meeting another partner's parents again. That same ex's mother was great and we got on really well, but sadly she passed away too, before my ex did, and that only made it even worse because I knew I'd have to talk to his dad and couldn't go hide somewhere with his mother.

 

[joshposh]

There's always going to be anxiety when meeting your partners parents for the first time. In fact each time you talk to them it's going to be s tumbling block of you making an idiot out of yourself or telling a joke that wasn't that funny.


There was a few times when my girlfriend when give me a quick slap on the arm when I said something dumb, when I was trying to be funny. I couldn't help it. I was nervous. Everyone experiences it and if you don't, then you're lying, or inhuman.

 

[MellowCat]

When I met my ex's parents, I was terrified. For all appearances, though, they liked me and it went well. However, the more time that went on, the more it became apparent that they didn't like me, especially my MIL, who turned out to be a controlling, manipulative bitch. Once she decided that she didn't like me, in her opinion I had basically ruined her son's life. Because things got worse the loner I knew them, the more anxious I got. So I actually found that as time went on I felt more anxious and scared around them than I did at the initial meeting.


There are TONS of reasons why I'm not with him anymore...!

 

[sidney]

That has never happened to me to be honest. Maybe because it's not as important as some people think. I mean, why would you even be anxious, right? Just act naturally and try not to impress them. I assume that people get anxious because they try hard to impress, so they end up pretending and it goes out looking fake.

 

[Corzhens]

This reminds me when my husband introduced me to his family. I know for a fact that his 2 sisters didn't like me but I was so glad that his father was kind to me although his mother was showing undefined attitude. Before that event, I didn't know how I felt because whatever you say, I would definitely be on edge like an antsy buttocks, I cannot sit relaxed. And when food was served, I don't remember what I ate or if ever I was able to eat. That first encounter with my in-laws was memorable but I don't have a clear recollection because I was so nervous that I really thought I wouldn't survive. My palms were sweaty all the while and my husband told me that my hands were too cold and probably shaking a bit. Fortunately, I didn't break down nor did I stammer during the conversation. I think smiling all the time helped my demeanor that gave me a good disposition.

 

[oportosanto]

It's always a stressful moment to meet the girlfriends parents, no question about that, but fortunately I never had any major issues. Sure, it's awkward, but nothing went wrong. Now, if the sisters don't like you like you mention Corzhens that is something different and we need to prepare ourselves to that.

 

[NormaD]

Been there. I've noticed that the more I want to impress the parents, the more anxious I become. It's like the anxiety comes to add on to an already very stressful situation. You so want to make a good impression, but now you're so nervous you're making a fool of yourself. I tend to giggle a lot when I'm nervous and sometimes it's just awkward when people are talking to me and I keep giggling like a little school girl.

 

[JGunterman]

My ex-girlfriend has the stereotypical overprotective dad and it didn't go well. He did his best to intimidate me, and honestly it worked as much as I'd love to say the contrary. He had a sizable collection of guns and he also had the tendency to drink a bit too much. Not a good combination for me who worries about everything. It was probably irrational to think he would try to pull anything, but naturally he was still a big scary dude with guns.

 

[hades_leae]

I had a bad experience with my ex's father after my ex passed away. He was a bit of an abusive drunk anyway but he badly beat me up because his son died and he blamed me for what happened. He never liked me much in the first place and made me dread going there because there would be snide remarks. He has made me scared of ever meeting another partner's parents again. That same ex's mother was great and we got on really well, but sadly she passed away too, before my ex did, and that only made it even worse because I knew I'd have to talk to his dad and couldn't go hide somewhere with his mother.

Wow, don't let a situation like that keep you from wanting to experience the connection that couples have with each others parents. Not everyone is good, and you just encountered a bad parent I believe from reading that comment.


Life can be hard sometimes, all you have to do is move on and say that you don't need to deal with him. I don't know if you got the police involved, but for me there would've been a restraining order in place. I hate that you had to go threw that time in your life, but it was an experience that you could learn from.


Just always know what's possible in the future, and work from there.

 

[Corzhens]

It's always a stressful moment to meet the girlfriends parents' date=' no question about that, but fortunately I never had any major issues. Sure, it's awkward, but nothing went wrong. Now, if the sisters don't like you like you mention Corzhens that is something different and we need to prepare ourselves to that.

This is not to malign my sisters-in-law but I want to be on the level when it comes to honesty. They are both scheming devils who are always after the money of their parents. Before I met them, I was already warned by my husband to be extra careful. And it was just fine in the early goings. But when we married and were living together, I learned the evil ways of my husband's sisters. They were always borrowing money from me and they never pay. Worse, they warned me not to tell my husband about their debts. You can imagine my big problem when my husband worked abroad for months and i was left to fend for myself in their ancestral home, living with my husband's family including those 2 evil sisters.

 

[oportosanto]

If that is the case I think it's wise from you to be aware of those schemes and act according to that. More important than that, I think that you and your partner need to be on the same page and don't conflict because of it and because of money. Money is something secondary and we should just live happy with what we have.


Now, if you are living together that has to be something really hard to cope with...!