You always here a lot of people who are considering suicide saying "I hate my life" or something to that effect, to which people always give some **** fortune cookie response of "You've just hit a rough patch in your life and things will start to look up" or "There's always a light at the end of the tunnel" which is all fine and dandy. But my life is not my problem. I've been blessed with a loving family who is well off and have always been healthy and I am thankful for that. I want to know what do you do when the thing you hate about your life is you. There is no escape from that, no bright side because you can never really change yourself. Everyday i wake up wishing I was someone, anyone else. I would take any other circumstances, be it being dirt poor, sickly, or anything else over the curse of being me, a painfully awkward, goofy, SA having son of a gun who will most likely be alone for the rest of my life. Because no matter what the situation is, you are always better off having someone to share it with. Ive probably rambled or gotten off point through this rant, but the underlying point is, Whats the point of living your life if you hate who you are? I would love to hear your thoughts or experiences if annoyance cares to comment. Thanks
What's the point?
- Thread starter Konch00
- Start date
Hi Konch. One summer day I was sitting on my deck with my black lab (named Kingfish) thinking about my life in general. I was in my 50's and had just quit a cush job of 12 years as a consultant being paid $42,000/year where I worked one day a week. My anxiety had made the weekly two hour drive too difficult. I felt the anxiety had won, driven me to being jobless with no self-worth. Financially there wasn't a problem as I had made some serious money for a 15 year span, had a modest lifestyle (because of my anxiety), no debt and a fully funded retirement. I was very depressed and so sick of dealing with my anxiety that life wasn't worth living. I had rationalized that my great family was better off without me, that my wife could marry someone "normal" and my kids wouldn't have to deal with my cancelling on them over the few requests they made of me. I went in the house and brought out a bottle of vodka and a months' worth of Xanax. Took a huge glug of the vodka and looked down at good ol' Kingfish who was lovingly looking up at me. I had made it past the hurt it would put upon my family and friends but I just couldn't do that to Kingfish. Suicide is such a selfish act.
It took a long time to approach life accepting my anxiety -ridden self, agoraphobic but worth salvaging. Locally I'm considered the quirky hermit who will fix your computer for free if he likes you. And my wife and kids still love me. I guess my life and myself aren't so bad after all. Kingfish is gone but I've got a dog named Blu who looks at me the same way. The grass isn't always greener, everyone has problems that are just as serious to them.
How's that for a fortune cookie response? Hang in there.
It took a long time to approach life accepting my anxiety -ridden self, agoraphobic but worth salvaging. Locally I'm considered the quirky hermit who will fix your computer for free if he likes you. And my wife and kids still love me. I guess my life and myself aren't so bad after all. Kingfish is gone but I've got a dog named Blu who looks at me the same way. The grass isn't always greener, everyone has problems that are just as serious to them.
How's that for a fortune cookie response? Hang in there.
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I think it would be good to start something like cognitive behaviour therapy for, to change the way you are feeling about yourself. Hating yourself will not bring you anywhere it will just destroy you. You need to learn to accept yourself only then can you move on in life.
lerap
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You know, the real reason people shouldn't attempt suicide is the outside chance you screw up and cripple yourself somehow. You think you hate yourself now? How much will you hate yourself if you've got a hole in your face the size of a shotgun blast, or you're paralyzed from the neck down?
I always say, if you're going to kill yourself, you'd better be damn sure you're successful because if you're not, you could regret trying it.
I always say, if you're going to kill yourself, you'd better be damn sure you're successful because if you're not, you could regret trying it.
Lol that's a good reason not to try killing yourself. I think that that's one of the reasons why I've never really wanted to kill myself. If it fails - you're more buggered then you were before.