Hey all, so I am nee to this forum and am going to meet with my doctor soon (but majorly backlogged due to covid) and I wanted to try and see if I can gain some more insight about my condition before meeting with them.
here are some of the conditions I think I might have (that is not to say that I have multiple condition, just that soem of my symptoms seem to align with some of the symptoms in the condition)
1. GAD
2. OCD (checking, obsessive thoughts)
3. Social anxiety
4. Depression
5. high functioning female autism (i note female because autism is often undiagnosed in women and also has different symptoms)
so I will get into it... my symptoms include
1. Extreme unease in social setting especially with a group of people and ppl i dont know well. I have difficulty carrying on a conversation and letting lose (so i often am told that ppl “first though i was snobby/a bitch/did not them” when they first met me before we became friends). Notably, i am very comfortable having social interactions with family members and close friends. My heart RACES and i overthink everything i am trying to say. I will replay the conversation over and over in my head for days and sometimes weeks. I only have a few close friends, but i am super introverted and find texting and recaging out to others exhausting and just something i rarely feel inclined to do, though i also feel lonely at times.
2. obsessive thoughts about things i have said (that i thought was misspeaking) and also just in general about things that have happened to me. From what i’ve read so far, these thoughts seem closer to GAD rather than OCD obsessive thoughts bc they are somewhat rational and are certainly directly related to recent events (i had a roomate a few years ago who tried to commit suicide, and i would obsessively worry about-her dying).
3. Academic anxiety— i am a very good student, but i am also a massive procrastinator, so i always worry about finishing stuff on time and doing well, even when i have good reason to believe i have enough time and i will do well. During tests (even ones i have prepared significantly and well in advance for), i am beyond anxious. I look at the clock every minute,my heart is racing, i breathe heavily, i have to reread questions 5 time some more and then check and recheck my answers bc in my anxious state i make sloppy mistakes. After a test, i worry about my grade and more often than bot think i did poorly even though i almost always do really well. i also plan out my hw time every dah but rarely stick to it. I am always looking at the clock and time i have to for work.
4. perfectionism and Checking. I tend to do checks- albeit not more than twice or a few times in situations when others might not even double check. For instance, i am always anxious that i am accudentally hnmuted on zoom, and i check and then recheck several times throughout a call knowing that nothing has changed. I also check to make sure my door is locked several times at night.
5. General unease. Most of the time i can directly pinpoint what is causing me to feel anxious because i am having anxious thoughts along with physical symptoms. Sometimes in public in particular, i feel a general unease that i cant exactly pinpoint.
5. General unease. Most of the time i can directly pinpoint what is causing me to feel anxious because i am having anxious thoughts along with physical symptoms. Sometimes in public in particular, i feel a general unease that i cant exactly pinpoint.
6. Some things that i will note because they might contradict traditional symptoms of anxiety disorders/autism—
- autism- i do not have super niche interests and do not think i experience sensory overload. Sometimes i do not understand hokes, but in general i feel like i theoretically understand social situations, and i understand them when i am not involved in them, but when i am in a situation, often become anxious and slightly confused.
-i am super motivated and successful academically. I wake up out of bed pretty easily (though im def a night owl). I have pretty good hygiene (though sometimes i forget to remove my makeup before bed...sinful i know!). I generally feel content on the path i am on and have clear career plans and direction.
-sleeping—- this one is complicated.On a normal night i entertain myself with my thoughts, but i often lie down and close my eyes not WANTInG to directly fall asleep, because i like thinking about my day at night. It probably takes me 30 mins on average to fall asleep, but thats faster if i am actually trying to get to sleep. Occassionally if i particularly worried about an assignment, i will wake ip at 4 am with a clenched feeling in my chest qnd wil not be able to fall back asleep. This happens maybe 1-2 times a month. Generally i would say i have decent energy during the day but tend to crash past 11pm, but Watch a movie/ tik tok til 2.
7.Daydreaming
I often daydream about having a few more close friends and the activities we’d do together. This often happens when im bored or late at night, but less commonly when im hanging out with people or doing work.
exercise- i dont
Coffee- 1-2 cups/day
Alcohol- several drinks each weekend night
Medications- the pill— but i certainly had all my anxiety symptoms
if you made it this far, congrats and thanks)). I appreciate anything you have to comment on
Ayee the spelling and grammar is something else in this post!
here are some of the conditions I think I might have (that is not to say that I have multiple condition, just that soem of my symptoms seem to align with some of the symptoms in the condition)
1. GAD
2. OCD (checking, obsessive thoughts)
3. Social anxiety
4. Depression
5. high functioning female autism (i note female because autism is often undiagnosed in women and also has different symptoms)
so I will get into it... my symptoms include
1. Extreme unease in social setting especially with a group of people and ppl i dont know well. I have difficulty carrying on a conversation and letting lose (so i often am told that ppl “first though i was snobby/a bitch/did not them” when they first met me before we became friends). Notably, i am very comfortable having social interactions with family members and close friends. My heart RACES and i overthink everything i am trying to say. I will replay the conversation over and over in my head for days and sometimes weeks. I only have a few close friends, but i am super introverted and find texting and recaging out to others exhausting and just something i rarely feel inclined to do, though i also feel lonely at times.
2. obsessive thoughts about things i have said (that i thought was misspeaking) and also just in general about things that have happened to me. From what i’ve read so far, these thoughts seem closer to GAD rather than OCD obsessive thoughts bc they are somewhat rational and are certainly directly related to recent events (i had a roomate a few years ago who tried to commit suicide, and i would obsessively worry about-her dying).
3. Academic anxiety— i am a very good student, but i am also a massive procrastinator, so i always worry about finishing stuff on time and doing well, even when i have good reason to believe i have enough time and i will do well. During tests (even ones i have prepared significantly and well in advance for), i am beyond anxious. I look at the clock every minute,my heart is racing, i breathe heavily, i have to reread questions 5 time some more and then check and recheck my answers bc in my anxious state i make sloppy mistakes. After a test, i worry about my grade and more often than bot think i did poorly even though i almost always do really well. i also plan out my hw time every dah but rarely stick to it. I am always looking at the clock and time i have to for work.
4. perfectionism and Checking. I tend to do checks- albeit not more than twice or a few times in situations when others might not even double check. For instance, i am always anxious that i am accudentally hnmuted on zoom, and i check and then recheck several times throughout a call knowing that nothing has changed. I also check to make sure my door is locked several times at night.
5. General unease. Most of the time i can directly pinpoint what is causing me to feel anxious because i am having anxious thoughts along with physical symptoms. Sometimes in public in particular, i feel a general unease that i cant exactly pinpoint.
5. General unease. Most of the time i can directly pinpoint what is causing me to feel anxious because i am having anxious thoughts along with physical symptoms. Sometimes in public in particular, i feel a general unease that i cant exactly pinpoint.
6. Some things that i will note because they might contradict traditional symptoms of anxiety disorders/autism—
- autism- i do not have super niche interests and do not think i experience sensory overload. Sometimes i do not understand hokes, but in general i feel like i theoretically understand social situations, and i understand them when i am not involved in them, but when i am in a situation, often become anxious and slightly confused.
-i am super motivated and successful academically. I wake up out of bed pretty easily (though im def a night owl). I have pretty good hygiene (though sometimes i forget to remove my makeup before bed...sinful i know!). I generally feel content on the path i am on and have clear career plans and direction.
-sleeping—- this one is complicated.On a normal night i entertain myself with my thoughts, but i often lie down and close my eyes not WANTInG to directly fall asleep, because i like thinking about my day at night. It probably takes me 30 mins on average to fall asleep, but thats faster if i am actually trying to get to sleep. Occassionally if i particularly worried about an assignment, i will wake ip at 4 am with a clenched feeling in my chest qnd wil not be able to fall back asleep. This happens maybe 1-2 times a month. Generally i would say i have decent energy during the day but tend to crash past 11pm, but Watch a movie/ tik tok til 2.
7.Daydreaming
I often daydream about having a few more close friends and the activities we’d do together. This often happens when im bored or late at night, but less commonly when im hanging out with people or doing work.
exercise- i dont
Coffee- 1-2 cups/day
Alcohol- several drinks each weekend night
Medications- the pill— but i certainly had all my anxiety symptoms
if you made it this far, congrats and thanks
)). I appreciate anything you have to comment onAyee the spelling and grammar is something else in this post!
