What I Find Depressing In My Life

[Sweed1]

Being now part of the older generation I find it depressing how people carry on conversations without speaking a word to other people. I will meet someone interesting and as soon as I am about to start talking I realize their focus is not in my direction but instead they are staring intently at their cell phone either texting or flipping through sites like flipping channels on a TV remote. Many times I have been talking and happen to glance over at them and to my dismay I see they are fully engaged in a conversation on their cell with someone else. I find this behavior rude and shows lack of concern for the person (me) who was invited out for a friendly visit.

Another thing I do not understand is why people who have no money are not willing to help someone else out who is willing to pay them for a few hours of work. As if the idea of working for some cash is beneath them. When I was young we were always looking for jobs, any jobs, like mowing lawns and raking leaves, pulling weeds or babysitting, running errands or just helping out someone whether we were paid or not. Now it is no big pay no work or don't want to work no matter what the pay is, which leaves us old seniors with many projects that go undone for lack of helpers.

I know this sounds like a rant but it also explains why I get depressed and why I am so lonely. It also explains why I hobble around for a week or so after mowing my lawn or washing the car, or pulling weeds out of my flower bed, after doing things that I am not able to do anymore for health reasons.

Sometimes depression comes from lack of friends or family involvement in our lives or to too much advice but no real help. I get lonely for companionship and then start projects to keep my mind busy so I don't dwell on that big hole in my heart. But it is there and it makes me tired and often wondering what is wrong with my way of thinking. Am I just different or is this normal? What do you think? Am I the only one?

 

[janemariesayed]

No way you are alone @Sweed1 and I know that for sure because I am the same! I repatriated back to my country a couple of years ago and have made very few friends since returning. I have a poor family background. Poor in the sense of values and connection. I get very little support and it depresses me too.

I'm living in a house now that has a garden. It's a small one but I am trying to sort it out. Family have visited me but not helped me with it. I paid a young lad to dig it over and rake it but he broke my rake and spade which means I have to replace them before any more work can be done. I'm on limited money and I just can't afford to splash out like that. The lad is still at school but it was still expensive what he was charging me. Now I'm left with a depressing garden that I'm ashamed of and no help.

I asked to borrow a neighbours wheelbarrow and even though he professes to be a friend, he made a silly excuse that 'not today' because he had to open the side gate! What baloney! Open the side gate indeed! He only lives over the road from me and to borrow it just for a day would have been an immense help. Another neighbour had me take them all over the place in my car, but now they have a car they don't need my help anymore so they don't need my friendship! Great! That makes me feel used.

I take comfort in my two dogs who never do me wrong. I know for sure that if they had a wheelbarrow that they would not only lend it to me, but they would do the work too! Youngsters of today think different to how we were brought up to think. It seems as though no one wants to help us and it's just tough on us. Mankind has sped up and become materialistic. Times have changed for the worst sorry to say.

 

[Sweed1]

Thanks for your reply. Every time of late when I think I have found someone willing to help out they either never show up or keep promising to help but never seem to have the time. So my new projects have ended up costing me a fortune as in hiring professionals that charge $50-$60 an hour. Minor bathroom fix becomes major expense. Yard work costs for top soil plus delivery charge, that costs almost as much as the soil. All I see is a big drain on my little bit of income.

But I am finding a few roses mixed in the thorns with people who need something I have and are willing to make donations of materials and money to help me keep my home in better repair. So I feel blessed when these people enter my life.

 

[DavidLee]

Being now part of the older generation I find it depressing how people carry on conversations without speaking a word to other people. I will meet someone interesting and as soon as I am about to start talking I realize their focus is not in my direction but instead they are staring intently at their cell phone either texting or flipping through sites like flipping channels on a TV remote. Many times I have been talking and happen to glance over at them and to my dismay I see they are fully engaged in a conversation on their cell with someone else. I find this behavior rude and shows lack of concern for the person (me) who was invited out for a friendly visit.

Another thing I do not understand is why people who have no money are not willing to help someone else out who is willing to pay them for a few hours of work. As if the idea of working for some cash is beneath them. When I was young we were always looking for jobs, any jobs, like mowing lawns and raking leaves, pulling weeds or babysitting, running errands or just helping out someone whether we were paid or not. Now it is no big pay no work or don't want to work no matter what the pay is, which leaves us old seniors with many projects that go undone for lack of helpers.

I know this sounds like a rant but it also explains why I get depressed and why I am so lonely. It also explains why I hobble around for a week or so after mowing my lawn or washing the car, or pulling weeds out of my flower bed, after doing things that I am not able to do anymore for health reasons.

Sometimes depression comes from lack of friends or family involvement in our lives or to too much advice but no real help. I get lonely for companionship and then start projects to keep my mind busy so I don't dwell on that big hole in my heart. But it is there and it makes me tired and often wondering what is wrong with my way of thinking. Am I just different or is this normal? What do you think? Am I the only one?

I'm still digesting on this!
I think it's a notion you have and don't wanna let go -that, you're lonely and it's hard (for you) to approach someone and request for the help you need. It's much of disappointment, than depression. Depression is not a one-day term/event @Sweed1. Not unless that's all what comes to your head & 'feel' when you eventually get turned down (because it's a mental situation). The happy thing is that it seems temporal in your case, since you just shared it in a public forum. Most depressed people find it hard to share what's troubling them till the point they're forced to seek for help. Proud of you!

 

[misszerable]

I do feel your disappointment and depression @Sweed1 , but there are things that we can't control, including how other people behave. When you said something about people who won't even look at you nor say something when you're supposed to be on a conversation because they're fully engaged on another conversation through their gadget, that's rude and you're not being different at all if you find it rude because it is. I'd feel like an intruder if someone does that to me. But I won't let it depress me. I'll just tell myself that they don't deserve me and I'd move on. I'd take it seriously if the other person would just talk to me at his/her leisure.

I really don't want to generalize but yes, I would have to agree that in some places, it would be difficult to find help for services that even unskilled people can do. Some will even doubt if you'll actually pay them.. They find it demeaning to work for an individual for a few hours but would be amenable to slaving themselves for minimum wage at fastfood chains. Times have changed indeed.

I would really advise that you open up and widen your circle of friends so you'll not feel isolated and trapped. I mean real friends who will actually talk to you and nurture a friendship with you.

 

[janemariesayed]

When you find that someone gets engaged with their phone in your company like that, don't bother to see them again. If they call you, make an excuse that you can't see them. You deserve better friends. So go out and find some better friends. Go and join a Table tennis club or something that interests you. You will meet other people who are doing something together and you will make like-minded friends.