Waves of anxiety for days

bin_tenn · Dec 27, 2020

Why do you feel therapy didn't work? It's certainly not a magic bullet, and the therapist can't change anything for you. They can only give you the tools you can use to try and help yourself. If you feel that the therapist didn't do a great job, you could always find another who's possibly more knowledgeable in your particular circumstances.

Cuchculan · Dec 27, 2020

With anxiety, as the years go by, we can become set in our ways. Not always good ways. With therapy I would ask what a person's expectations were when visiting a therapist? Some think they will go in and things will get better right away. How we all wish that was the case. After 2 years I would guess you had ran out of things to say and were just repeating the same things over and over to the therapist. Once that happens we simply need a break from therapy. Have had it happen a few times. Now it is a case of looking around and trying to find anything that will work for you. Anxiety is a bit like a chain link fence. Series of things all linked together. We get a twinge or an ache. That puts a thought in our head. Mostly a negative thought. We react to that thought. How we react brings about our symptoms. They are all linked together. Theory is to alter the thought process or how we react. What we go through is a series of feelings. Bad feelings. But feelings that make us want to run away or hide in our bedroom. Makes us stop doing things. but what is we stopped and said ' they are only feelings '. Can feelings really harm us? We just have to get used to those feelings. Not as easy as it sounds. Once we do, we stop feeding the fear. Imagine a person afraid to leave the house. Second they step out of the house they will be hit with loads of these feelings. Telling them it is not safe and to go back into the house. in this case we use exposure therpy. We don't run back into the house. We stay outside. Let those feelings come on. For the first day maybe only for about ten minutes. Second day maybe 20 minutes. We are letting the body and the mind get used to these new feelings. Bit like learning how to live all over again. Very easy to keep fallen downwards. To go upwards is hardest part of all. But it can be done. If we explore everything about our anxiety. How it makes us feel. Have those feelings ever really done us any harm at all? Apart from making us feel bad. There is still a life out there with your name on it. Case of never given up and keep fighting until you get to were you want to be.

suzzeeb · Dec 28, 2020

Cuchculan said:
With anxiety, as the years go by, we can become set in our ways. Not always good ways. With therapy I would ask what a person's expectations were when visiting a therapist? Some think they will go in and things will get better right away. How we all wish that was the case. After 2 years I would guess you had ran out of things to say and were just repeating the same things over and over to the therapist. Once that happens we simply need a break from therapy. Have had it happen a few times. Now it is a case of looking around and trying to find anything that will work for you. Anxiety is a bit like a chain link fence. Series of things all linked together. We get a twinge or an ache. That puts a thought in our head. Mostly a negative thought. We react to that thought. How we react brings about our symptoms. They are all linked together. Theory is to alter the thought process or how we react. What we go through is a series of feelings. Bad feelings. But feelings that make us want to run away or hide in our bedroom. Makes us stop doing things. but what is we stopped and said ' they are only feelings '. Can feelings really harm us? We just have to get used to those feelings. Not as easy as it sounds. Once we do, we stop feeding the fear. Imagine a person afraid to leave the house. Second they step out of the house they will be hit with loads of these feelings. Telling them it is not safe and to go back into the house. in this case we use exposure therpy. We don't run back into the house. We stay outside. Let those feelings come on. For the first day maybe only for about ten minutes. Second day maybe 20 minutes. We are letting the body and the mind get used to these new feelings. Bit like learning how to live all over again. Very easy to keep fallen downwards. To go upwards is hardest part of all. But it can be done. If we explore everything about our anxiety. How it makes us feel. Have those feelings ever really done us any harm at all? Apart from making us feel bad. There is still a life out there with your name on it. Case of never given up and keep fighting until you get to were you want to be.

Thats true that feelings and thoughts can't hurt us, but for me the thoughts go to how bad everything is going to turn out that I can't even see a positive outcome. Especially this last episode, which has been going on for so long that I see no light at the end of the tunnel at all anymore. This one has caused depression for me, and my therapist, who is very smart (40-years experience PhD) and I'm sure he's right, says if I stopped worrying the anxiety would go away, and I have no idea why that is so hard. I almost don't believe that's true or it might be true but my brain just isn't able to stop worrying. Who knows. It all sucks! I was a scared little kid and maybe that's all I know how to be as an adult too.

suzzeeb · Dec 28, 2020

babyfox said:
I agree, you cannot jut stop worrying. I have been worrying about the same thing for days now. I can take my meds and sleep it away for a bit. Make the pain in my neck and shoulders subside for a little bit, then it creeps right back in. It seems science can only take us so far to help anxiety. I feel like I have jumped over to the "severe anxiety" world and discouragingly I do not think science and doctors know what to do when its this bad. I am here hoping I am wrong and enough people have been to this point and we can overcome and at least live with out it consuming our daily living

Well I can tell you it doesn't necessarily stay in the severe state. I had what I'm having now about 15 years ago where I was in a horrible place, but just like now, it was mixed with depression so it lasted quite a while. It did let up and while I still had anxiety, it was no where near what it was then or is now. I'm hoping that will happen again this time around. I think depending on our circumstances at the time, it gets better or worse. I'm not so sure the current Covid thing going on for so long doesn't play a part for a lot of us. It feels like I am used to it, but really it cuts down a lot of places I could go to try and distract myself at least. I hope you are feeling better soon. I know how hard it is.

Cuchculan · Dec 28, 2020

I did say it was like learning to live all over again. Because that is what it is like. We have been doing certain things for years. We have become so used to those things. Be it how we think or how we act. That is our life today. We have to start at the very bottom all over again. Learn new skills. I am not saying it will be easy. Far from it. It won't happen over night. Can take months to just begin with. Small steps. Doing things in a different way one step at a time. Bit like repeating the same small step over and over until it becomes part of us. Just like we had done the same negative thing over and over until it became part of us. Just by repeating the same exercises non stop that we do see change. Takes time. A lot of time.

suzzeeb · Dec 28, 2020

Cuchculan said:
I did say it was like learning to live all over again. Because that is what it is like. We have been doing certain things for years. We have become so used to those things. Be it how we think or how we act. That is our life today. We have to start at the very bottom all over again. Learn new skills. I am not saying it will be easy. Far from it. It won't happen over night. Can take months to just begin with. Small steps. Doing things in a different way one step at a time. Bit like repeating the same small step over and over until it becomes part of us. Just like we had done the same negative thing over and over until it became part of us. Just by repeating the same exercises non stop that we do see change. Takes time. A lot of time.

So have you been able to make things better for yourself over the years? What steps did you take to start to get better that became a part of who you are now?

Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety often starts with stress (see The Cycle of Anxiety). If you have prolonged stress over time, it builds up and eventually it'll reach a point where it boils over. Your body has slowly become sensitised - your nerves feel on edge, senses become heightened, noises appear really loud, your heart pounds, appetite decreases or increases, you rush about, you get angry easier, become emotional. Your nerves are screaming out they need a rest - that's just your body saying it can't cope with any more stress and it needs a break. When you reach that stage you can start to feel panic / anxiety, and some people will experience a panic attack. If your body had been 'normal' and not sensitised, then it wouldn't have had that reaction.

Panic and anxiety feel alarming and can frighten you. You then become afraid of that feeling of anxiety, and the anxiety then makes you more frightened ....... so you get stuck in the cycle of anxiety / fear / anxiety. If you've been in a particular place when you've had these feelings, you can then associate the fear with that place and start to fear it, and can escalate so you fear going out.

Whilst in this sensitised state your mind goes into overdrive. It thinks anxiously .... and why not ..... your body is already anxious so it stands to reason your thoughts will too. Thoughts constantly start to flick in and out of your mind, you search for answers, on and on ...... so your mind becomes tired. Weird thoughts begin to enter your head ........ and with it comes anxiety ...... lots of anxiety. You begin to frighten yourself, and obsessions can start to form.

Now, because your mind is already tired, those thoughts / obsessions will stick. Thoughts stick to a tired mind and bounce around all day causing more anxiety. You think negatively. Weird thoughts can begin to grow - sometimes you'll lose one intrusive thought only to find another to replace it - each one feeling worse than the previous one.

'Normal' people (sorry to use that expression) also have weird thoughts that flick in occasionally ....... but .... because their bodies aren't sensitised, their minds aren't tired, and because those thoughts aren't accompanied by anxiety, they don't stick, and are simply not paid any attention to, are quickly forgotten about and put to the back of their minds. So thoughts and obsessions are nothing more than sticky thoughts in a tired mind.

So, intrusive thoughts are a side effect of anxiety, so quite normal with this condition, but its our constant head chatter, reassurance, sayings, over analysis etc that keeps those thoughts circling round and round in our heads all day.

Prescribed medication will help to calm the body, breaks the cycle (by hangs onto your serotonin in the brain) making you feel happier. This takes time. See the page on SSRI's.

As well as taking medicine, you can recover without too - but I still urge you to equip yourself with the knowledge of anxiety and its recovery, because this is something that will always stand beside you. Both medicine AND having the knowledge are excellent. I urge you to get the books by Paul David and Will Beswick (see Resources).

Please note that the information in these books (and briefly below) is not intended for you to lose the anxiety feeling immediately, but what it does do is to give your mind and body the space it needs so your body can heal itself.

Anxiety produces symptoms of sweating, dry mouth, racing heart, chest pain, inability to sleep, restlessness, restless legs, aches and pains and a whole host of others. Don't try analysing each and every one of these symptoms. They're all caused by anxiety. Worrying and trying to find an answer for each one will just lead to more anxiety. They're all under one umbrella. Once the anxiety starts to ease, these symptoms will ease too - even the scary thoughts and impulses.

Break that cycle of anxiety - fear - anxiety and all symptoms will ease in time too.

Firstly - lack of understanding and confusion makes this condition worse and keeps you ill - so understanding how anxiety comes about and why it stays is the first part of recovering. This is the answer - there is no outside force doing this to you - it is purely your reaction to anxiety that is keeping you ill.

Secondly - accept that this comes from inside you and recovery is achievable. Accept that you will feel like for some time to come as this is no overnight fix, but you can recover from this.

Thirdly - STOP trawling the internet searching for answers, over and over, because this only adds to your confusion. Yes there are helpful websites, articles, hints, tips, tricks etc but do you know you've got the right one? As Paul David says (I like this) is that you wear an invisible backpack and you'll gather all this information up and keep it in the backpack, adding it in daily, weekly, monthly, weighing it down, and its all this useless information that is making you tired. Your constant desire for answers drives you on - but I'm giving you the answers - here. There is no magic button to switch off your anxiety condition, but there is a button if you'll take the time to read Paul David's and Will Beswick's books. This is the answer.

Lastly - have patience. Its taken a long time for you to become ill with anxiety and so it will take some time to reverse this. Yes you will feel frustrated many times over, you're only human, you will have good and bad days, but remember ... tomorrow is always another day.

I just found this article. There are other parts to it, but even though we probably know most of this already, it still feels somewhat reassuring that something so scary is in our control.

Cuchculan · Dec 28, 2020

Spent a decade or so in the house. So did beat that and start going out again. Small steps. Nothing too big to begin with. Not running away from how I was feeling. Even managed to go from Ireland to Scotland. Just something I wanted to do alone. We all have setbacks. I did too. But I got back up and back out again. Not saying I live the perfect life. Far from it. But better than what it used to be like.

suzzeeb · Dec 28, 2020

Cuchculan said:
Spent a decade or so in the house. So did beat that and start going out again. Small steps. Nothing too big to begin with. Not running away from how I was feeling. Even managed to go from Ireland to Scotland. Just something I wanted to do alone. We all have setbacks. I did too. But I got back up and back out again. Not saying I live the perfect life. Far from it. But better than what it used to be like.

Wow well those are pretty big steps really. I'm glad you are doing better

Cuchculan · Dec 28, 2020

I still have a few things I hate doing. Clubs and pubs and the likes. I avoid those places. Much like others on here. I have my issues. We get good and bad times. No different from everybody else. I guess I am willing to try things. Might not always work out for me. Like last year I ended up in the ICU for 3 weeks. Burst ulcer related to anxiety. Some we win. Some we lose.

suzzeeb · Dec 28, 2020

Yeah that's true. I also avoid certain things. We can only do the best we can do I guess.

Waves of anxiety for days

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