Warped relationship with time..

[ethereal.perennial]

Hi there, my name's Jane and I'm here to address my warped relationship with time. My anxiety is mostly social, but for some reason time can become an issue in the form of procrastination or the feeling of never having enough time. I don't necessarily feel late in the way that it feels when you're actually late to an appointment or something, but I could have the entire day off and not really be able to genuinely enjoy it because I end up thinking about how I got up too late and I only have ____ more hours until I have to go to work, when in reality I got up around 9am (which isn't really that late) and I have 4 hours before I have to leave for work, or I have 8 hours to enjoy until I have to sleep to get up for work the next day. Of course there are days where this doesn't plague me as much as normal and I don't worry about it, but when I do I almost feel robbed. Sometimes I go back to work feeling as if I didn't have a day off at all or like I'm wasting my life.
I'm wondering if anyone else experiences something like this and if so, how do you combat it?

 

[Rinka]

This kind of time pressure is what I’m experiencing a lot. I’m always counting down until going back to work, how long I have left to sleep, or how much time I have to enjoy myself. In s weird way I also plan my day after this pressure. For example, I hate having too much time between appointments. I rather rush from appointment to appointment then wait somewhere for 15min or half an hour. It feels almost compulsive. I’m almways calculating the time I will spend somewhere and get nervous when the time seems to be running out.
As you might imagine, i have not found a way to relieve myself from this self torture. I hope there are tips out there that can help

 

[Gingerninja1991]

I have a strange relationship with time in that I feel like I need to get things done in a certain time frame, like my education, marriage, kids etc and if I’m not on track it stresses me out, but if I am on track it still stresses me out because I have to keep moving forwards. Time is a stressful concept.


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[Rinka]

I have a strange relationship with time in that I feel like I need to get things done in a certain time frame, like my education, marriage, kids etc and if I’m not on track it stresses me out, but if I am on track it still stresses me out because I have to keep moving forwards. Time is a stressful concept.


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I’m german we call this „Torschlusspanik“ something like being afraid to miss opportunities to achieve those live goals, good job, family, kids, a house and such. It’s more of fulfilling expectations rather then following your dreams.

 

[AbejaReina]

OMG this has been a huge thing with me, especially when I'm working. I would constantly be all OCD about like you said, how much more time I could have spent awake during the day, how many hours till bedtime, when I have to work next (even if it's days away). It gets really annoying. What helps sometimes is trying to get lost in something I love, like music

 

[Rinka]

It can be really annoying, that's true. I suppose for me it's like i want to try to enjoy my free time and plan what to do with it. I don't like my job, so I'm always counting down to the end of the day, to the end of the week. But that also means that i count down the time until i have to go back to work again. This is kind of depressing.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Wow - YES, never heard anyone describe it that way, but it's a special kind of overthinking and overanalyzing. I don't do it with hours in the day, but I feel the expectations of the years. Like thinking I'm 'supposed' to do something by a certain age, etc. Thanks for sharing. Sorry I don't have any advice...

 

[Rinka]

Supposed to, have to, need to... Who came up with the concept that you have to fulfil other people's expectations. But then again, I can only talk for myself, I might put those expectations on to me myself.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Supposed to, have to, need to... Who came up with the concept that you have to fulfil other people's expectations. But then again, I can only talk for myself, I might put those expectations on to me myself.

Right?? It's so hard to know...

 

[EKRamirez]

I struggle with this too. I do it with hours of a day just like you described, holidays and birthdays (like I fear it won't "feel' like Christmas until it is too late and it's over.) The worst one for me is years going by- obsessing over how short life is, people I love aging, and dreading my life being over.

I do feel I am somehow able to make the most of my days and each night before I go to bed I try to focus on one thing I am looking forward to tomorrow. It doesn't even have to be something big, just a walk or something. That helps me a little but beyond that no advice sorry. It is really hard to deal with.

 

[AbejaReina]

I struggle with this too. I do it with hours of a day just like you described, holidays and birthdays (like I fear it won't "feel' like Christmas until it is too late and it's over.) The worst one for me is years going by- obsessing over how short life is, people I love aging, and dreading my life being over.

I do feel I am somehow able to make the most of my days and each night before I go to bed I try to focus on one thing I am looking forward to tomorrow. It doesn't even have to be something big, just a walk or something. That helps me a little but beyond that no advice sorry. It is really hard to deal with.

The idea of having a time limit on life and not knowing how much time there is, even with how long I have to spend with others are big things for me. They affect the quality of time I spend with others I'm sure