Violent intrusive thoughts

[heroiceroica]

This is kind of disturbing I guess, sorry
Ever since I was around 12 I used to have really violent and weird thoughts. If I was in a room with a group of classmates I would mentally make a list of the ones who I didn’t like. Then I would think of how I could kill them all. I thought of many ways, most of which I don’t remember, but the most common one was lining them all up and shooting them. They never went away and I still have them a lot, not about classmates obviously but about other people around me. Even if I like the person, I still have those strange thoughts and I imagine him/her dying or in pain even if I don’t want those things to happen. I would NEVER act on these thoughts but they still happen. It really scares me sometimes and I’ve tried to think more positively but it doesn’t work. does anyone have any advice or suggestions to make the negative thoughts go away?

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

Heroiceroica, I think it's great that you would never act on these thoughts, even though you have these thoughts.

 

[Masonm7700]

This is kind of disturbing I guess, sorry
Ever since I was around 12 I used to have really violent and weird thoughts. If I was in a room with a group of classmates I would mentally make a list of the ones who I didn’t like. Then I would think of how I could kill them all. I thought of many ways, most of which I don’t remember, but the most common one was lining them all up and shooting them. They never went away and I still have them a lot, not about classmates obviously but about other people around me. Even if I like the person, I still have those strange thoughts and I imagine him/her dying or in pain even if I don’t want those things to happen. I would NEVER act on these thoughts but they still happen. It really scares me sometimes and I’ve tried to think more positively but it doesn’t work. does anyone have any advice or suggestions to make the negative thoughts go away?

I’m obviously not a doctor but I know that unwanted, intrusive thoughts come with OCD. If I were you I’d consider talking to a doctor about it.


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[Brad66]

I used to have intrusive thoughts but they weren't often violent but sexual or just inappropriate. I might still have them from time to time but I don't pay attention to them or fear them the way I used it.. so if I still have them I don't notice or "book mark" the thought anymore.

Recognizing them as just weird thoughts and continuing on with your day is the best medicine for them. If they are worse then usual take stock of how you are feeling.... I bet they come more rapidly when you are tired and/or stressed. Tired brains can come up with some crazy thoughts! Once you recognize your condition and can attribute the thoughts as a symptom of your condition you can take the necessary steps to rectify the cause (i.e. get more sleep, remove stressor, relaxation, etc)

Have hope, this will get better once you change your attitude towards it and learn that it's nothing to worry about!

If you have any more questions let me know!

 

[PRguru_cfj]

I have thoughts if violence every time I fail in somthing or some one. I come from brave hard working Puerto Rican family n n who lived tough lives and I strive to live up to it. Even though I having a loving family, I go outside I have trouble connecting to people and making connections. Whether friendly, professionally, and romantically. Ever since middle school where I first experience violence from human beings. I feel over the years I never defend my self or harmed a other living creature. But now as I get older the restraint is starting to deteriorate.
I'm starting to get angrier and more frustrated doing college work. Thoughts if losing in anything kept me from doing alot of things. Now I'm trying things as I am older but it is only hardship and slow slugfest. I even having violent thoughts fro. People who slight me and spiteful attitude when I try to sleep. Arguing with my siblings and parents and getting more agitated and desperate to do things quickly. Especially I'm college with a lack of connections and guidance of the stuff I want to learn.
But I am disgusted at my thoughts from stuff that happened and has never happened. I dream bashing the kid who kicked me in the balls in 6th grade. I dream of smashing a since book of that snobbish rich kid in 10th grade. Even worse I'm starting th o think of hurting those around me some times when I mess up. I want to.live good but thease feeling though not acted upon but I just want to hurt bbn myself most of all so I would never have the chance to hurt a other. No matter how despicable individual is. But my.mind has always been two faced.
I don't want to be the deranged monster I feel.that I am and secretly want to let out. But I am a good person or at least I think. But my father always believed and me and no matter what I do he loves me and some thought of hurtin him and others terrifies. I feel like when hes hone my moral goodness will be gone and I will be the freak people say I am. Sorry I'm being to wired and long. I just feel like my anxiety is turning into somthing worse. I just want it to stop all the bad feelings or sting to stop me.

 

[bin_tenn]

This is a common form of OCD. Know that you are not alone. Many people have these intrusive thoughts but would never act on them, myself included. I'm a very gentle and caring person, and the idea of harming anyone is a bit upsetting. Even if I had to harm someone who was trying to harm me or my family would make me feel bad, but in that case I would do it - as a necessity.

I'll be riding in a car with someone and suddenly I begin thinking "what if I reach over and slap them in the face?" Then I think "wait, what the hell are you thinking?!" If I stand near a ledge or on a balcony I wonder what would happen if I suddenly ran and leapt over. Of course, I would never do these things, but the thoughts still exist.

Seeing a therapist may be helpful. Perhaps they can help you understand what triggers these thoughts, as well as help you identify ways to combat them.

If you want to learn more, you can always research "harm OCD." As I said, it's a common type of OCD. Plenty of resources available online.

 

[PRguru_cfj]

I did it again, I got mad at a situation that I wasn't even supposed to be mad at. I got 5bdog and they are relatively well trained but they tend to be too friendly at times. My main dog Luke ran out to see his mate and son but a car was around and my brother was the one to let him out. He yelled at me to get her but I already had my other dog Lola and she us reality big her breed. I tried to get him and to control my other dogs excitement but to no avail.
Then we argued on which one of us needed to do somthing then for the first time I cussed out my brother and got really mad and scared my sister. I thought I heard him cuss at me first but I was to fixated on the problem I ran out if hand. My father was disappointed in me and He knew it was his fault first. But it was no excuse to get nasty. He was right and reminded he never did that to family. He reminded that he never thought he that. But I learned it else where.
From out thier in the real world I only experienced people lies and deceit. It came to a point that I couldn't differentiate the good ones from the bad. If I only was a bit more kinder and alot less pessimistic my life could have been so much better. I could have friends, Got out of college earlier, find a relationship. Now I'm just a lazy, cowardly, and closeted rage filled 20 year old. I let the hatred and the bullying of others dictate my life. I didn't do alot of bvb after school activities cause I always thought ai would be terrible at them and always feared losing and rejection.
Even in college I'm just a fly on the wall whole others in my class connect and build bonds. While I'm alone wondering if I matter no matter how well I do. I'm angry at myself and I am angry that I can't change my self. Also angry that I can't let it out with out feeling the consequences.

This is a common form of OCD. Know that you are not alone. Many people have these intrusive thoughts but would never act on them, myself included. I'm a very gentle and caring person, and the idea of harming anyone is a bit upsetting. Even if I had to harm someone who was trying to harm me or my family would make me feel bad, but in that case I would do it - as a necessity.

I'll be riding in a car with someone and suddenly I begin thinking "what if I reach over and slap them in the face?" Then I think "wait, what the hell are you thinking?!" If I stand near a ledge or on a balcony I wonder what would happen if I suddenly ran and leapt over. Of course, I would never do these things, but the thoughts still exist.

Seeing a therapist may be helpful. Perhaps they can help you understand what triggers these thoughts, as well as help you identify ways to combat them.

If you want to learn more, you can always research "harm OCD." As I said, it's a common type of OCD. Plenty of resources available online.

The only thing I can see that I'm obsessed with is I can't Express my emotions with out doing something weird. After today's incident with the dogs the thoughts came back and I was thinking to going to my brothers room to fight him for making me angry. Worse when I was helping my dad with the shed a the concert titles. He was on the ground and I had the tile in my hand. I never get angry like that because I avoid stressful situations like that.
I don't do much because everything stresses me out and gives me anxiety.the obsession that I have is that I have emotions and I refuse to control them nor show them. Its just me not accepting what I am. Just putting on a hopeful college student trying to have good grades. In reality I just want peace and more for my self. Which I know I can never do
I'm starting to hate others and my self more and more as the day progresses. My emotions numbing and helping b b others for moral obligation then a want. I have this two faced personality where one wants to harm while the other wants to hurt and it tearing me apart piece by piece mind you I don't show it. I'm the v v quit kid who nobody knows. And I would like to keep it that way.....

 

[PRguru_cfj]

This is kind of disturbing I guess, sorry
Ever since I was around 12 I used to have really violent and weird thoughts. If I was in a room with a group of classmates I would mentally make a list of the ones who I didn’t like. Then I would think of how I could kill them all. I thought of many ways, most of which I don’t remember, but the most common one was lining them all up and shooting them. They never went away and I still have them a lot, not about classmates obviously but about other people around me. Even if I like the person, I still have those strange thoughts and I imagine him/her dying or in pain even if I don’t want those things to happen. I would NEVER act on these thoughts but they still happen. It really scares me sometimes and I’ve tried to think more positively but it doesn’t work. does anyone have any advice or suggestions to make the negative thoughts go away?

I still think of those who treated me like crap and still hunts me to this day. Filling me with rage and making me loth cooperation and a love of another. Hel I think I'm asexual now not having on interest in romances all. When I mad now that I'm older it gets pretty bad me banging on everything now. Your stronger than me because you never let the slightess of emotions get the better at you. I thought of hurting my family over a stupid argument and I am disgusted by my self. Biw I thing my siblings hate me and I made my sister life hell because I couldn't control my self.
Early school I acted out and it made them suffer so my advice to you is that don't become the annoying monster I am. Anxiety kills me from doing anything meaning ful and I'm nothing if a burden. Find someone who loves you weather it be in a familial, friendly, or romantic way. Do somthing not related to your problem and make thier days alot better. When I feel this thought I try to help my parents with anyyjingband that calms me down. My morals are stronger than hate and do is yours.
I made a similar list like you back at 3rd grade. But I asked if I can help my father with in garage stuff and after that I threw that the list out. To be honest the thoughts never truly go away. But neither does the good in my heart. You are a better person than me for not letting one bad day mess you up. So fight that inner deamon with all the live you can because I know what happens when you let the hate out. All you get is self loathing, thoughts of sin, and anxiousness. I know what it feels to not be In control
You are NOT a monster, a fool like me is. Even if you can't fi d someone. Love your self but everybody lives somebody. Even if they don't think it. Every one has the capacity for darkness as well. But it's a choice and I know you will choose the better path(sorry if it's a little long)