Very disappointed.

[bigjetplane2]

Have a friend that suffers from anxiety.
Was dropped from 2 therapists because they “didn’t think they were the right therapist for him”. Like wtf?
He already has really bad anxiety and now he lost the small hope he had from getting help.
More of a rant post I guess,
I’m upset for him.
And also, if I ever decided to go through and get a therapist for my HA, I wont anymore.
I thought therapists were meant to help.

 

[Cuchculan]

Hard to explain how therapists think. They can sit and listen as we talk. Let us say we have a very severe problem. That might be out of their range. In other words they have treated people in the past with problems that were more or less mild or bad but not as severe.

The least they could have done was given your friend a name of another therapist. One who is used to treating people who might be out of the range of other therapists. They do exist. I would tell him not to give up hope. To keep on looking. First two he went to simply thought they could not help him. It does happen. I know it might seem odd. Much in the same way as we might think a certain therapist is not for us.

 

[blueberries]

That is terrible and makes me lose faith in therapists. The least they could have done is help your friend to find someone who is a better fit. It's rough, I can see why your friend has lost hope in getting help for his anxiety.

 

[Jonathan123]

As a retired counsellor I can think of many reasons why someone would tell a patient that they could not do a lot for them There has to be complete trust on both sides. But to send someone off with no follow up from anther practitioner is wrong. If ever I felt that there was not much I could do I always gave the name of another counsellor who may be more attuned to that particular person's problem. Please don't assume all therapists are like that. The vast majority go into counselling to help, maybe after being in a state themselves, as I did. My fear old friend and counsellor saved my life literally, then went on to give me training in his school for prospective counsellors. Judging others by a bad experience we may have had with one is unfair.

 

[MATD]

Being dropped by two therapists sends up red flags. And as a friendly reminder, there are always two sides to every story. You were not present at the sessions so you only have your friend’s side of the story. In all fairness, that’s not enough evidence to base judgment on. I do agree however, that if the situation was a simple case of the therapist not being able to help your friend, they should have made an effort to recommend someone who had more experience. However, there may be reasons unbeknownst to your friend why they chose to drop him, and one of them may be an inexperienced therapist who didn’t know the procedures. Nobody is perfect, even therapists.

 

[Izthewiz]

Sorry this is happening.
But there is no shortage of good therapist.
It's their loss.

 

[mollyfin]

I've had that happen before. While I do think it's kind of sus that there are therapists who are like "I'm comfortable charging three hundred dollars an hour to basically be a life coach," I'd rather know ahead of time that I'd be wasting my money with them.

 

[Jonathan123]

I've had that happen before. While I do think it's kind of sus that there are therapists who are like "I'm comfortable charging three hundred dollars an hour to basically be a life coach," I'd rather know ahead of time that I'd be wasting my money with them.

Trial and error I am afraid is the case. You can never know before you go to a therapists if it's going to be someone you get along with and trust. I have said this about trust before. It is the most essential part of any face to face therapy. If you feel uncomfortable with a therapist then go elsewhere. But always remember, unloading our very personal feeling to a stranger is not easy to begin with. Give it time and see how it goes. Once again we come back to perseverance.

 

[LotusTree]

I’ve heard that it takes about 6 sessions with a therapist to assess how you feel about them. Pretty much been the case for me.

 

[Jonathan123]

I’ve heard that it takes about 6 sessions with a therapist to assess how you feel about them. Pretty much been the case for me.

Absolutely right. There is one case I can relate where, for six sessions, I could not make out why the man was so depressed. We talked for six sessions, then on the last one as he was leaving he turned and said ' By the way, my wife left me six weeks ago'. Being a man he was loathe to admit to another man that his marriage had failed. A woman would have told me at the first session. Women, generally are for more open and prepared to talk. Men, because of the old 'macho' image, clam up when discussing private matters. Any form of anxiety is for sissys and weaklings!! What utter nonsense.

 

[sharing]

I'm in a similar situation as your friend. In fact I just posted my first post about this earlier today. It doesn't seem right that therapists can do this, it does feel kind of helpless. A friend of mine told me the best thing to do when you fall off a horse is to get right back on it so I'm trying to move forward. I hope you friend can get through the disappointment and also move forward.

 

[EMJ]

I also am a retired Therapist.....I spent 40 years working with college age students....loved it...but as with any type of therapy, there are therapy relationships that work better than others. It might be important to look for a therapist that is trained in the specific area of anxiety disorders. They have specific training in treatment and methods of helping the client through periods of anxiety...and often have tools to assist you with coping. The thing with therapy is that the Counselor/Therapist teaches YOU the tools to help...they don't solve the problem for you. It is a lot of work to stick to the plan and continue to fight to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I know all the methods....all the issues....and I still suffer with anxiety and fall into that deep hole every few months. I do seek out therapy...that guiding hand and support to help me get myself out that hole has helped time and time again...and to me personally, what I find the most helpful, is group work with people...like all of you...who have gone or are going, through the same thing. There is significant support in identifying with others feeling the same as you....that is why I am here.

 

[Jonathan123]

I also am a retired Therapist.....I spent 40 years working with college age students....loved it...but as with any type of therapy, there are therapy relationships that work better than others. It might be important to look for a therapist that is trained in the specific area of anxiety disorders. They have specific training in treatment and methods of helping the client through periods of anxiety...and often have tools to assist you with coping. The thing with therapy is that the Counselor/Therapist teaches YOU the tools to help...they don't solve the problem for you. It is a lot of work to stick to the plan and continue to fight to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I know all the methods....all the issues....and I still suffer with anxiety and fall into that deep hole every few months. I do seek out therapy...that guiding hand and support to help me get myself out that hole has helped time and time again...and to me personally, what I find the most helpful, is group work with people...like all of you...who have gone or are going, through the same thing. There is significant support in identifying with others feeling the same as you....that is why I am here.

Thank you so much for that. It is the case, as with me, 'Physician heal thyself'. Being a counsellor does not mean you are not prone to anxiety. In fact, as you know, many therapists drop out of the profession because of the stresses involved. You are so right. Many go to a therapist with great expectations. They want a magic wand or a magic word that will make them free of anxiety, and they want it today. That's not how it works! No therapist has all the answers, and as you say, the tools are given for recovery but it is up to the patient how far they go with them. So many drop out after a few sessions which is sad, because the initial sessions are so important. The therapist needs to build a picture of his patient and adjust his talking to suit that patient. Everyone is unique. So any therapy must be seen as something that that particular patient will embrace. It's like a new suit, it has to be made to fit the patient.
When I retired I wanted to go on helping and this is how I do it. Oh yes, I too go down the rabbit hole now and then. But life will always throw up some stress, however small, to set us off. Learning to live with our anxiety but not allowing it to make our lives miserable is the key. Acceptance is still the answer, but it takes time.