Unnatural fear of death

[oportosanto]

I think it's just natural that we fear death. The thing is that most of us see it as something that will happen in a distant future, we never consider happening to us right now, so if we are thinking about it too much I believe we need to try to put things in perspective and realize that death is one of the few certain things we have in life, so we gain nothing in worrying about it. 

 

[pwarbi]

I'm sure that we all fear death and have found ourselves thinking about what might happen when we die, and if we let it then thoughts like this can be overwhelming for a lot of people. If you worry too much about things like that though, you'll often find that you're the type of person that will worry about anything and everything, and even worry about things that you can't control.


At the end of the day, we are all going to die and there isn't anything we can do to stop that so even though it's easier said than done, instead of worrying about something like this that you can't control, it's better to try and concentrate on living your life to the fullest and live each day as happily as you can.

 

[fcuco]

This is called Death anxiety (or thanatophobia), it is common as you grow older (of course), but if it becomes persistent and prevents you for functioning correctly don't be afraid to seek help, I see a lot of answers telling you that fear of death is normal and it worries me, as with all phobias it is not about fearing something that's inherently dangerous, is the irrational part that's the problem, just like fearing spiders is normal, a crippling phobia is not. We all have some for of existential death anxiety, but if you are having panic attacks please consider seeking some counseling.

 

[Surrender]

Sadly, I cannot wrap my head around the idea of God, so it's hard for me to let go of something. The idea of someone seizing to exist is scary to me. 

 If you can't wrap your head around the idea of God, the first thing would be to consider the idea of "spirit". That you and I have a spirit. When we die, we leave behind the physical body and our spirit continues on.  To where... well that is the subject of religions. But just consider first the idea that we all have a spirit that remains after physical death, none of us just cease to exist. 


It's not a totally accurate comparison but I like to think of it like water, which exists as liquid, gas, solid.  It is always water, but can change and cycle through these different forms, which can seem so completely different and unrelated, yet they are all still the same thing, water.  So we too can exist in another form, the spiritual form.

 

[misszerable]

Death, naturally, is scary because it remains a mystery to the living. I am scared of death, too, but not to the point that the fear consumes me and affects my life. It helps to think of life as having several stages and our current life on earth as the present stage. When we die, it's only our physical body that dies but the spirit lives on and goes to another dimension. As a Christian, I believe in the afterlife and that I will be reunited with my loved ones who have passed on before me. That is such a comforting thought for me. I believe that Jesus is preparing a place for me like he said in the bible. That helps a lot. 

 

[fuzyon]

I don't think it's strange to fear death, I guess every person in this world has thought about what will happen after they innevitably die. When I was younger I used to obsess about it, at night my mind would go blank thinking about how I will be erased from existence at a certain point in my life.


Mark Twain put it perfectly: "When I will be dead I will feel like before I was born. I will not care if I'm alive or not."

 

[Choochoo]

Your situation sounds a bit extreme so I would say it would be best probably to consult with a professional. I have heard that some people who used to have something similar overcame it by facing their fears doing something extreme like bungee jumping or skydiving. I think there is some sense to that as doing something like that would most likely change your perspective at least a little bit, but as I said I think it's still better to consult with a doctor first before listening to any of our amateur advice. 

 

[Laneorexorcist]

It's actually pretty normal to think about death, it's something that we're exposed to almost 24/7 and it's actually one of the most common fears among human beings, or at least a big part of them. And I actually feel the exact same way about it but I just try to not think about it, and when it's innevitable I just try to remember that's going to feel like when you fall asleep but you don't have any dreams that night. I focus on that and it calms me down a little bit. But yes, sometimes the desesperation and anxiety towards that topic is going to show up, and it's also innevitable.

 

[tomorrow]

Just to add: I think a lot of this fear came from my anxiety and depression and more so how they actually impacted my life. They actually forced me to drop out of college at risk of a severe breakdown. And after that, I found it hard to motivate myself to do anything. Which led to thoughts that I'm wasting my life, which then subsequently led to thoughts that I will die having achieved nothing.

I think it is quite common to fear death and everybody has it inside.     But it varies from person to person.  As you already explained it would be intense in people with a habit of deep thinking like you.  Yes, a feeling of nowhere after death is an uncomfortable situation. But we have to admit the fact that death is the only eternal truth and this is not an end.  Let’s be positive about our status after death.  May be we will become part of almighty and eternity.  Let’s hope there would be a better glorious life after death.


What I do to beat this fear is to focus more on giving, I mean charity activities.  It gives me some king of inner strength and I think it is like a fixed bank deposit that will be with us even after death. So enjoy the joy of giving and that can definitely address your issue to a great extent.  Moreover, it is quite practical to indulge more on some activities you like so that you can keep your mind busy.


So, don’t worry, take life positively and enjoy the joy of giving. This would be the biggest achievement in your life. 

 

[Padre]

It is kind of curious;  I never really feared death.  It is a certainty as much as the sun rising in the morning.  I've been curious, if there is anything after death, but not fear.  The only thing that bothers me about dying too early is that I can't take care of my wife and two wee ones if I'm gone.  I've, naturally, take the right precautions for such an eventuality (e.g., financial security, insurance policy, etc.), but still.

 

[Jasmin Cottontail]

I believe most people are afraid of death. People will certainly die at any point in their life and as much as I would like to admit, we can't fight it. If we keep on thinking that, it will eventually consume us and will affect our daily lives thinking that we may die anytime and none of the things we do here on earth matters, which is more scary. I do think of that as well from time to time however, I just distract my thoughts from thinking such things because I know I won't get anything from it aside from the fact that I'm scaring myself.


My advice is just to focus with that you have, your goals in life for example. I do the same like setting goals, plans for my future (even though we aren't sure about what might happen). That way, it makes me glad and excited about things that I can accomplish, instead of being scared of death

 

[hades_leae]

Death, naturally, is scary because it remains a mystery to the living. I am scared of death, too, but not to the point that the fear consumes me and affects my life. It helps to think of life as having several stages and our current life on earth as the present stage. When we die, it's only our physical body that dies but the spirit lives on and goes to another dimension. As a Christian, I believe in the afterlife and that I will be reunited with my loved ones who have passed on before me. That is such a comforting thought for me. I believe that Jesus is preparing a place for me like he said in the bible. That helps a lot. 

Well I don't really believe in the life after death because it's my choice to not believe and there is no proof. That's like me saying that there is a store open for me when I die and inside that store the walls are made of skittles and the cash is made of bacon strips, just the perfect land for someone who loves candy.


I just embrace the thoughts that I have about death just as if it was any other thought. I know that you can have the worst imagination at times but it doesn't have to be a problem. 

 

[Kaynil]

I had a strong episode a few months ago so I felt compelled to check this thread out. Until then, I thought I knew what being afraid of death meant. We all know it from the very beginning and to some degree we mentally prepare ourselves that it will come but during that time I was completely aware of all the implications. I wish I could tell you exactly how I got out of that terrible spell, even though I can't. I still wanted to post hoping that this at least gives you some hope to combat the idea that this won't go away.


I think it is horrible having that irrational fear and feeling the blade so close to the neck. However, it is important that you find value in your actions that have lead you where you are. We grow up being hammered that we will be 'failures' if we don't achieve X by some age, but failure is not an ultimate ending nor a unremovable  label. Failure is something that happens many times in our lives and the best way we learn.One of the mantras I learned recently is called "Fail faster" which is basically: do it and keep on moving. So don't hold on things because you're afraid of failing. A lot of our anxiety is our lack of experience, but if we keep trying and falling short we realise that it is not the big deal our mind makes us believe and we can control our thoughts better. 


So if you had to drop college because of it, don't look back and think of it as a mistake or that you missed your chance or anything set in stone. You went through what you did and it is fine. Forget about status and achieving and completing. You have earned experiences and I am sure you have achieved things, even if you're being your worst critic. This is not a race. Stop beating yourself up with unrealistic portrayals. 


If you can get therapy, go to it, they might give you some good insight to hold onto when your mind starts going on its own about it.


Also, I think having someone I could talk about it without being dismissive helped me, so if you have people like that, try talking with them. I also got introduced to Eckhart Tolle and watching his videos about living in the present helped me cope with the intrusive thoughts. It is basically about using your senses to enjoy the current moment without thinking of future plans. Think of how many times you've grabbed a snack and ate it while thinking about what you were going to do next, the snack was gone and you didn't enjoy its taste. So Eckhart helps with making sure you are really present in the moment. This has helped me with anxiety in general.


I hope this can be of some help. >.<

 

[TheKnight]

I fear death only because I don't want it to be a burden on anyone else like having them go to depression because of my death. Along with funeral costs.

The thought that helps me cope with it is that it is a natural part of life and that God has a plan for us in the afterlife. I strongly believe that earth is only a sort of ''test realm'' in which you live to determine where you go in the after-life. I don't believe in any punishment such as hell but I do believe you must earn your way to the best part of the afterlife. I think that the after-life is pleasant no matter where you are but some a lot more pleasant than others depending on how you were on Earth. 

In my belief, the after-life is great

 

[Jonro]

I've been battling panic attacks due to fear of death since my early 20's. When my Christian wife and I first started dating about 2 years ago I was an atheist. I was also struggling with drug addiction. She told me that God talked to her sometimes and I thought she was crazy, I didn't like for her to even talk about that because it made me uncomfortable. She had been praying that God would bless us because I was an unbeliever and one night she gets excited and says he said "It is done",of course I thought she was nuts. Over the next few weeks God started revealing himself to me. At first I didn't know what was going on but I knew it couldn't be explained, supernatural things was happening. Then one night during a thunderstorm evil shows up in our room. I could feel it moving around the room, i was so scared I couldn't even move. There was messages coming on the tablet screen, one said "Aren't you even gonna try", one said "You're going to hell", I was holding my stomach in the fetal position and an image comes on the screen of a person holding their stomach. About daylight it appeared to be gone so I get up and grab my phone. Electricity arcs from it to my fingertip, up my arm, into my head. I then hear demonic sounding talking and then at that moment the tablet gets a notification, I look at it and it reads "YOU SEE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO SEE". I tried to pretend like I it didn't happen because It scared me so bad. Then I started having the worst nightmares you could imagine. After the third one I said I couldn't deny it anymore and I got saved and then baptized a few weeks later. Heaven and Hell is very real, take it from the biggest atheist there was. All you have to do is give your life to Jesus and you have nothing to worry about when you die, in fact you will live FOREVER in heaven with God! I would be happy to talk to anyone further, my email is Jonroevai35@gmail.com. God bless!

 

[AnxiousThanatophobe]

I know it may pretty common to fear dying, but it often gets to the point where I have panic attacks thinking about it. It's sort of a combination of fear that I've wasted my life, fear that my health will dive-bomb at any moment, and fear of what comes after death. Fear of just not existing. When i get sucked too deep thinking about this stuff, I often pause for a moment and try to comprehend the possibility of experiencing nothingness, and it absolutely wrecks me - I start crying, shaking, panicking and the worst part is that I just can't stop doing this to myself.


How do I get out of the habit of thinking about this stuff? And why does my mind keep returning here?

It's called Thanatophobia. Also known as Death Anxiety. I have it too. I still haven't found a solution yet. Last night, I was thinking of my first memory, which was just darkness and then it was as if I opened my eyes and I could finally see. This really triggered my thanathobia because I realized how little of my life I actually remember.