To Believe or Not Believe Your Doctor

[triceps]

My struggle with anxiety is more general and thankfully gives me a break by not manifesting itself with health anxiety. I've learned much about health anxiety since joining this forum and am struck by the following. Keeping in mind that anxiety certainly doesn't make us more rational, why go to the doctor if the results are not going to be believed? It is in the doctors' and the clinic's financial interest to actually find something wrong. Can some folks help me understand the cycle of the worry of having a disease overwhelming the objective testing results that say otherwise? I truly am not being critical or dismissive in any way. My irrational thinking is rampant, debilitating and I know it's irrational but continue to do it. It just stays away from health issues for me.

 

[Hal 9000]

Apparently there are two kinds of anxiety, ours is one that can't be fought with logic.
This guy explains the difference between the two (start around the 3:00 mark if you don't want to watch the whole thing).
AT 6:30 he gets into some weird stuff I never heard of before but 3:00 to 6:30 explains a lot.

I wouldn't have guessed you don't have health anxieties, you seem to understand it very well.

 

[triceps]

Hi Hal,

Thanks for all of the wisdom you provide here. I have GAD but am fascinated by the similarities and the differences with health anxiety. The warped thinking is very similar but the subjects of the warped thoughts are different. I just realized two days ago that I've been dealing with my anxiety disorder for over 50 years. They keep developing medications and mental-related therapies, but the reality for me is that they just mask the symptoms or distract us from them. Anxiety is a lot of work. You'll find that aging is one of your enemies. As you age into your fifties, it might seem like your anxiety is getting worse, but, it's just that you have less mental energy to fight it. I've learned to accept that I have a mental illness, I don't hide it from those I associate with and just take things everyday, seeing what my anxiety will allow me to do or prohibit me from doing.

 

[Hal 9000]

Hi Hal,

Thanks for all of the wisdom you provide here. I have GAD but am fascinated by the similarities and the differences with health anxiety. The warped thinking is very similar but the subjects of the warped thoughts are different. I just realized two days ago that I've been dealing with my anxiety disorder for over 50 years. They keep developing medications and mental-related therapies, but the reality for me is that they just mask the symptoms or distract us from them. Anxiety is a lot of work. You'll find that aging is one of your enemies. As you age into your fifties, it might seem like your anxiety is getting worse, but, it's just that you have less mental energy to fight it. I've learned to accept that I have a mental illness, I don't hide it from those I associate with and just take things everyday, seeing what my anxiety will allow me to do or prohibit me from doing.

I'm 57 and I'd say it all started about 15years ago. Four or five things happened in rapid succession and just overwhelmed me.
Prior to that I had always been concerned with my health but not preoccupied by it, then it all changed. It's better now than it was but I would say I fight it rather than control it.

The one good thing about dealing with this for an extended period is that even though you can't always beat it, it's nice to be able to understand it.
I'd really like people to have a better understanding of why this is happening to them and to try to do something about it.
I like the way you said it, it's a lot of work. And it never really ends

 

[triceps]

I fix computers, not for money, but just as something I can contribute to the very rural area I live in. This morning I contacted a lady whose computer I fixed and she said she'd pick it up early this afternoon. They didn't come over until 5:30pm and I had been agonizing from the moment I contacted her about the interaction involved with the computer pickup. I was completely aware, rationally, that there was nothing to obsess about, but this goofy brain would not allow me to not worry about it. Of course they picked up the computer and it went just fine, as things I worry about usually do.

It's the same ridiculous thinking that the health anxiety, GAD and those saddled with depression folks have to battle. I'm not sure why I was unable to deflect those thoughts today as often I'm able to, and look forward to tomorrow, hoping for a more rational day. I'm exhausted from the battle.

 

[Hal 9000]

I fix computers, not for money, but just as something I can contribute to the very rural area I live in. This morning I contacted a lady whose computer I fixed and she said she'd pick it up early this afternoon. They didn't come over until 5:30pm and I had been agonizing from the moment I contacted her about the interaction involved with the computer pickup. I was completely aware, rationally, that there was nothing to obsess about, but this goofy brain would not allow me to not worry about it. Of course they picked up the computer and it went just fine, as things I worry about usually do.

It's the same ridiculous thinking that the health anxiety, GAD and those saddled with depression folks have to battle. I'm not sure why I was unable to deflect those thoughts today as often I'm able to, and look forward to tomorrow, hoping for a more rational day. I'm exhausted from the battle.

I had no idea that generalized anxiety could appear over such a routine thing. Was it because the time changed and threw you off? Is it about any social situation?

 

[triceps]

I had no idea that generalized anxiety could appear over such a routine thing. Was it because the time changed and threw you off? Is it about any social situation?

The time change on made me worry longer.
Today I go over to a good friends' house for coffee. He has set up this weekly event to make sure I get out of the house at least once a week. I'm a wreck before I go and fine once I get there.

 

[Hal 9000]

That's so interesting.
I guess if you make a point of doing it in a comfortable situation (with the friend) it might help overall.
It sounds like you have a clever and understanding friend.

 

[triceps]

That's so interesting.
I guess if you make a point of doing it in a comfortable situation (with the friend) it might help overall.
It sounds like you have a clever and understanding friend.

About ten years ago I finally "came out of the anxiety closet" and that's when you find out who your true friends are. I gave up the facade and tried my best to be more assertive with saying no to events that I'd be obsessing about beforehand or really didn't have an interest in attending. My wife is very understanding and will tell me when she thinks I'm being lazy and using the anxiety as an excuse. Can't ask for more than that.
How have your friends and family been with your disorder?

 

[Hal 9000]

When it was at its worst my kids were pretty young and I don't really know how it impacted them. When they were around it was probably a good distraction so they may not have seen me at my worst. I remember walking through a preserve with my daughter and constantly taking my pulse and telling her I was just checking what time it is. She was 6 so she believed me.
My wife started out full of sympathy but I wore her down. Her eventual frustration was probably borne out of feeling bad for me and being annoyed that I'd be doing this to myself. Eventually she just handled it the way you deal with a bad snowstorm - you know it's coming so just roll with it until it melts.
One of my great regrets, and in person I'd be welling up talking about this, is that when my grandmother was alive she dealt with this and we all pretty much told her to just knock it off. We were nice about it but not nearly nice enough.
She must have felt very alone in that regard. If I'd only known then what I know now . . . . . . .

 

[triceps]

It's terrible what we put our loved one's thru. I almost didn't go to my daughter's graduation or wedding. I couldn't go to my father-in-laws funeral.
It is awful to think what life was like for your grandmother. My mother had health anxiety and she dealt with it with alcohol and prescription painkillers. She was married 5 times (four Bobs and a Dick) and I'm sure her anxieties had a great deal with maintaining relationships.

You've inspired me to check in-depth with my kids who are coming home this weekend, the impact my anxiety had on them. So are you on good terms with your ex-wife?