The Shakes

[XmasCarol52]

Hi Michelle,To bad you couldnt tie him up then he would have no choice,lol

 

[Concernedgal]

Lol. I know that's right.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Some men c an be so difficult,I know that men do suffer to with this illness but why does it seem to effect us woman more?My husband use to get mad whenever I wanted to stay home for the holidays well it sure beats being around people who make me nervous family or not even they can rattle me.

 

[Concernedgal]

I can't under stand why people make it about them everytime we don't attend and event. It's about me , not you. If I can't attend then I can't attend. End of story. And I understand that men do go through he same things we do but, for some reason they have a resilience that a woman dont. Wish I could be that strong. Maybe we are. But, it just doesn't.seem like it

 

[XmasCarol52]

You know what else makes me so mad I have seen many times on tv that whenever someone commits a murder that person always has a mental illness,not everyone that kills someone has a mental illness,they make us look bad.Mental illness gets a very bad rap.Now how is your day going?I am cold even though i turned up the heat.Cloudy and gloomy to. ugh I hope I can fall asleep later I only got three hours last night

 

[Concernedgal]

Hi carol, my day has been great so far thank you for asking. Its sunny here and I slept for 9 hours last night but, I wanted to keep sleeping. That my thing, I always want to sleep. Although come to think k of it, for me, I guess it goes back and forth . I will have weeks where I can't sleep and weeks where I can't get enough sleep. It's sunny here in alabama and I hate it. I love a gloomy cloudy day. It makes me happy . Does that sound weird? I know what you mean about the dispiction of mental illness on television. There always like , (plead insanity. ) most people don't really knw what that is. They just throw the term around like it's nothing. I'm not saying we are insane... ( Not completely anyway) lol. But, I do know what you mean . What about television shows that shows a person crying and staying in bed and wants to be left alone. Are they actually trying to show a depressed person? I don't think so . A real depressed person gets up and lives there lives no matter what they feel like. We smile out fake , smile and laugh our fake laugh. And try our best to get through the day till we get the sweet release of going back to bed. That's me anyway.

 

[XmasCarol52]

People don't seem to get the depression either they think all it is ,is being sad when in fact it is not,you can experience pain from it.Ya like my heart aches.suicidal thoughts and I don't stay in bed all day I would get completely bored I have to do something. One thing though a person who doesn't have anxieties or depression should never tell a person who does have it ,get over it or don't think about it>?How can you not think about it?It is there.Sometimes the depression can last all day or a week yet nobody sees it because we hide it well I do anyway. Although a couple of times I did break down in front of m y friend and u know what she let me squeeze her hand and my land lady could care less if I cry,she threatened to evict me because of my yelling,i keep trying to tell her I cannot help it,they dont like me swearing i cannot control it sometimes,if I knew how then I wouldnt yell and she should know better because I do have a mental illness but it seems to be around here all that matters is a physical illness,I even told her i feel like I am being discriminated against she said no,bs,then dont threaten to evict me with my yelling,They act like they think i enjoy yelling when I dont,It isnt my fault my fall and head trama is why i do some of it and bipolar to. She says she cares bs she does when donkeys fly,I am i Ct. today it about 50 out but by the end of the week it could be down to 20 again. There is a saying in New England if you dont like the weather then wait a minute,

 

[Concernedgal]

I understand what your saying. I think when we yell, it's like a mini mental breakdown. It happens to me all the time. For example, when I get told i've done something wrong or someone in public is rude to me I take it very personally like a personnel attack towards me and I get very offensive. Like ( how dare you talk to me that way) . I don't guess I should react the way I do. I just can't help it. P.S .. cute bear.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I agree my land lady had the nerve to even tell me that I need to respect her more,I yelled at her I will respect you when you respect me we were on the phone,I told her it is one of her business what I put on my answering machine a lot of people laugh when they hear it unless you are a scammer or a telemarketer i hate those people.She thinks just because she collects the rent she can tell people how to behave,she is always asking me when I ha ve to see my doctors and from what I read they are not suppose to come inside your aot unless it is an emergency not ask medical question there are not to many people here that like her,

 

[Concernedgal]

Wait... so she's making your life her business? Are you serious? Who does she think she is? I'd be like" when do you have to see your doctor?" Lol. And your right. She's not supposed to come in your home unless it's a medical emergency. Her job is to leave you alone and collect the rent. She sound like a ( pardon my french ) a total bitch. Good grief.

 

[XmasCarol52]

She is I cannot stand her and what makes is so bad I hate it when she comes to collect the rent even though I mail it in she still has to come and bother me,you know a couple of years ako I couldnt even see because I had not only one but 2 cataracs she get this one t o evict me because I had pills on my floor and i dropped a bagel on my floor now she is mouthing off how she was my friend sweeping the floor oh good lord this woman can never be my friend she is a trouble make she repeats everything and i will not tolerate gossip it only gets you into trouble the bad part about it she has her aunt ,inlaws another anut and ya another relative living here. This apt life sucks but I cant move so I am stuck everyone knows your business, and when i first moved in the guy who fixed things once told me an old bat wanted things fixed,I was so mad when he said that ,then one time he goes and tells that witch i was mean to him so what that is when i started to get my really bad yelling attacks,all of a sudden people have delicate ears around here.She makes me nervous whenever she is around me i cannot speak up to her.U think she knows it to and oh ya she will go and call my son to about my yelling but he never calls her back because he doesn't like her either.It should be known of her business how or what I do inside my apt of course now if i was damaging things yes but I just yell.SHe knows to it is out of frustration.I cannot bear to ev en look at here. I wish i could hide.It is so awful living your life being afraid of someone. You just cannot relax oh yes do you know that there is an illness called yelling attacks I looked it up

 

[XmasCarol52]

Hi Michelle just checking in to see if you are alright>I just had a bad yelling spell.ugh

 

[XmasCarol52]

Hi me again I am so darn angry well I belong to this place where u can earn gift card but you have to get so many points it is a survey site but they have games u can play and get ten points for each add well for almost three hours i havent gotten one stinken add when i told them they told me i got points today so i had to explain myself it hasnt been working from 445 to 745 it is never there problem always mine it is just a ten dollar gift card i choose for walmart ,i got upset because no adds i should have over 5,000 points by now,I just love it when web sites never want to take the responsibility and say they are wrong it is always us that are wrong i dont ru n the web site they do.i aint no tech either.Don't you just love it when we are suppose to be the ones who fix things?Sorry but I lost it,i just needed to vent .Somedays are not good this one was bad,so tired of being frustrated confused sad,frankly i am tired of living,but I dont or wont do anything because i am to chicken,ugh i hope you all have a good night. Love,Carol now that i got it out i feel better

 

[Concernedgal]

I'm fine today. However I did have a couple of anxiety episodes today but, as uncomfortable as it was... it didn't kill me. I felt dizziness and lightheadedness. But, I think it's almost my"lady time " lol. So I always feel a little worst. And no way, there's a desease called yelling attacks? Crazy. Can't you call the police on those people? They are invading your space. You pay rent and you have a right to your privacy. Tell them to leave you alone. You deserve better girl.

 

[Concernedgal]

I'm a part of a survey site too . I've almost got enough for visa gift card. Hope they don't pull that crap on me.

 

[XmasCarol52]

ya it is a survey site i love cards i am going in there now it better work,i looked it up there was anger attacks not yelling but still with me yelling comes with the anger,So u still have those huh lol I finish mine about 20 years ago PERIOD lol just alittle pun there oh once you get to know me I love to use puns,even my drawings but I guess you can see that ,if i can think of something it will be a drawing,I wish I could call the police on no here comes one of my puns but with the people around here it would just be a COP OUT lol However they would just deny anything she is due to come on Feb 4th the first Sat in each month.She makes em cringe ..

 

[XmasCarol52]

I am feeling so shaky again because of another snow storm coming tomorrow 4-8 inches ouch and i lost my phone and internet once already lucky for me I knew how to fix th ebox just unplug it and plug it back in to reboot it but I totally freaked out when I saw I had no phone I depend on both my phone and internet tv too, Every since the snow has been coming I have been having nonstop shakes,it is awful i take my meds but yet I still am shaky,you know how it is when you feel as though something bad is going to happen,, I try knitting crocheting i can but not without feeling shaky.. God i wish he could help me , I been alone to no visitors at all ,God i miss m y Bob and my friend,being lonely stinks ,okay just enjoy some of my pix,they are not intended to offend anyone i just do them for my pleasure and for others too,

 

[janemariesayed]

Have you thought about advertising for a companion? I don't know about your financial circumstances and if you could afford it, but I have seen other people do that. I have seen small part time jobs advertised for companions, or nursing companions for people who can't get out and about on their own or who don't have anyone to go out with them. Perhaps it is something that is considerable to you?

 

[XmasCarol52]

I have thought of it but money is tight matter of fact when i go later in the year for my regular meds i think i may have to tell them to give me something not as expensive, i tried the last time but the girl wouldnt do it i was so tempted to tell her she could pay for it,I do have insurance but you know how it is you pay more and yo u get less, how have you been doing???

 

[Concernedgal]

What about advertising for a room mate. You'll have company and you'll someone else to share the expenses.