alwaysworried
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- Joined
- May 23, 2018
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- 95
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Had a cardiologist appointment a few days ago. I always get very anxious and worked up before appointments, and especially for cardiologist appointments because I worry a lot about my heart. Got an EKG (my fourth one since September). The doctor said I had some nonspecific abnormalities (which they've found on most of the EKGs), but nothing to worry about. Said if it was my first visit he would just send me on my way because I'm 22 and otherwise healthy, but since it was my second time visiting a cardiologist in the span of only a few months he's arranged for me to have an echo and a 24 hr monitor just to confirm that everything is normal, which I'm really grateful for. Hopefully everything comes back clear and I can have some peace of mind. Unfortunately those tests aren't for another 3 weeks or so.
Anyway, since seeing the cardiologist, the symptoms I went there for (chest pain, shortness of breath, sometimes have a fast HR, palpitations) have actually gotten worse! I keep telling myself that it's just residual anxiety from the appointment, and from worrying about the upcoming tests. I've had 4 EKGs and a chest x-ray in the past 3 months, so obviously if I had some sort of terrible heart disease I would know by now. It's just funny to me that I need to go to these kinds of appointments to make sure I'm healthy and to help my anxiety, but they end up making it worse. It's the same with going to get bloodwork, seeing a therapist, etc. I get so anxious about these things, and I never want to put additional strain on my body and heart. Long-term it will help me, but short-term it just increases my anxiety.
I also worry a lot about how all this anxiety will affect my health later in life, which is another paradox in and of itself. I know that to get better I need to just move forward and go on with my life instead of cowering at every little symptom. I know that setbacks are a part of the process. But every time I have a panic attack or I spend all day worrying, I think "well that's extra stress on my heart that I didn't need, now I'm one step closer to developing heart disease later". It's really frustrating. I'll get through it one step at a time. Just hard to deal with.
Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest. It's nice to talk about these kinds of things with others who also suffer from anxiety. I'm really lucky to have a supportive family, but it can be hard for them to understand where I'm coming from sometimes. If you're reading this I hope you're having a good day!
Anyway, since seeing the cardiologist, the symptoms I went there for (chest pain, shortness of breath, sometimes have a fast HR, palpitations) have actually gotten worse! I keep telling myself that it's just residual anxiety from the appointment, and from worrying about the upcoming tests. I've had 4 EKGs and a chest x-ray in the past 3 months, so obviously if I had some sort of terrible heart disease I would know by now. It's just funny to me that I need to go to these kinds of appointments to make sure I'm healthy and to help my anxiety, but they end up making it worse. It's the same with going to get bloodwork, seeing a therapist, etc. I get so anxious about these things, and I never want to put additional strain on my body and heart. Long-term it will help me, but short-term it just increases my anxiety.
I also worry a lot about how all this anxiety will affect my health later in life, which is another paradox in and of itself. I know that to get better I need to just move forward and go on with my life instead of cowering at every little symptom. I know that setbacks are a part of the process. But every time I have a panic attack or I spend all day worrying, I think "well that's extra stress on my heart that I didn't need, now I'm one step closer to developing heart disease later". It's really frustrating. I'll get through it one step at a time. Just hard to deal with.
Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest. It's nice to talk about these kinds of things with others who also suffer from anxiety. I'm really lucky to have a supportive family, but it can be hard for them to understand where I'm coming from sometimes. If you're reading this I hope you're having a good day!
