Terrified/Hypochondria at its worst

[Amw311]

Hi everyone,
Long time health anxiety sufferer here, ever since I was a little kid I have been this way. I have actually never been to therapy but I am starting for the first time in a few weeks.

My health anxiety usually comes and goes in waves, a trip to the ER or the doctor usually gets my mind right and it eases up for a while. This time it is affecting my daily life majorly and I feel like I have lost all control. I am 26 years old (female) and am happily married with 7 month old twins. I have everything I’ve ever wanted yet I feel like I am falling apart.

It all started a a few weeks ago when I was feeling very anxious...I started waking up in the middle of the night with an uneasy stomach, having difficulty going back to sleep. As SOON as I wake up in the morning I have to have a bowel movement. Like 6 AM on the dot. Once I get up and eat and start my day, my stomach starts to feel a little better but there is still lots of gas pains in random places, burping, and waves of nausea will come and go. The gas pains are felt low down on my abdomen and sometimes my low back which convinced me of cancer immediately and I lost it. I went to my OBGYN and she did a full pelvic exam and said everything felt normal.

Well I started realizing it was definitely more of a stomach/digestion issue and my aches and pains were not going away so I went to my GP. She felt my stomach, took lab work, CBCs and enzyme tests along with a h pylori tests and everything came back normal. She gave me Prilosec which I feel like is making matters worse.

My worries and my nausea will wake me up in the middle of the night and send me into a panic attack, last night I almost had a full blown panic attack laying in bed at 2 AM because the uneasy feeling in my stomach had me researching Colon cancer and reading people’s stories. I was convinced I was one of those people because I had a couple of thinner shaped stools. At one point I was 100% convinced of pancreatic cancer, then stomach cancer, then colon cancer, all the female cancers have entered my mind at different times. Sometimes I convince myself I have only a few months to live. I know I sound crazy. I can’t seem to get a grip on anything. My fear is so crippling. I guess I just needed to let this out.

 

[Rinka]

Welcome to the community.
Believe me you do not sound crazy! I went trough this anxiety myself, still do on and off actually. As long as you get checked out regularly and eat healthy everything should be fine. Don’t forget you had a baby not long ago. 7 months since can still have an effect on your body.
Anyway welcome and lovely to have you here. Please share your thoughts and anxiety so that we can support you through this.

 

[Hal 9000]

Hi Amw,
In a lot of cases we have anxieties for other than the reasons we think we do. In our cases they just manifest themselves as health related.
When my children were very young I went through it badly. It got easier as they got older and I think the reason it was so bad was because I worried about what would happen to them if something happened to me. The fear became sort of self fulfilling - my fear of not being there made me believe I was going to die and not be there.
* Even if this is the reason for you concerns, I know it doesn't help you right now, but it might be a little bit helpful in understanding.
* And by the way, I think pancreatic cancer is a very common one that we worry about. My particular go to's were (are) that and ALS (which is not to say there aren't many, many others also).

I wish I could help more.

 

[Amw311]

Hi Amw,
In a lot of cases we have anxieties for other than the reasons we think we do. In our cases they just manifest themselves as health related.
When my children were very young I went through it badly. It got easier as they got older and I think the reason it was so bad was because I worried about what would happen to them if something happened to me. The fear became sort of self fulfilling - my fear of not being there made me believe I was going to die and not be there.
* Even if this is the reason for you concerns, I know it doesn't help you right now, but it might be a little bit helpful in understanding.
* And by the way, I think pancreatic cancer is a very common one that we worry about. My particular go to's were (are) that and ALS (which is not to say there aren't many, many others also).

I wish I could help more.

Thank you for this- it really resonated with me. I am in the same cycle of thinking that you mentioned you were in with your young children. My non-stop worrying and focusing on my symptoms, of course, makes my symptoms worse. Such a vicious cycle I’m in. Some days I feel like I’m never gonna overcome it.