Terrified. Found a breast lump

[Jennifer]

Twice.
My father in law had a biopsy come back breast cancer from a small lump on his chest. (We didn't even know this could happen) final pathology was benign.

My son, (God, I struggle just typing this because it was the horror of my life)
Lump under his jaw, initial pathology was cancer, final pathology was benign. Praise God.

 

[NKS]

Twice.
My father in law had a biopsy come back breast cancer from a small lump on his chest. (We didn't even know this could happen) final pathology was benign.

My son, (God, I struggle just typing this because it was the horror of my life)
Lump under his jaw, initial pathology was cancer, final pathology was benign. Praise God.

You mean needle biopsy said one thing but surgical pathology after removal was another? I’m glad your FIL and son were ok. I hope I am that lucky.


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[Jennifer]

You mean needle biopsy said one thing but surgical pathology after removal was another? I’m glad your FIL and son were ok. I hope I am that lucky.


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My father in law had a needle biopsy.
My son's was initial biopsy during surgery.
In both, the final pathology report was benign.

I'm not trying to give you false hope but it does happen for sure.

0n another note, I know quite a few ladies who went through this and came out just fine on the other end. <3

 

[kammie72]

@NKS how did it go today with your surgeon? thinking of you.

 

[Jennifer]

@NKS checking in, how are you doing?

 

[Ms.Honey]

Thinking of you @NKS !

 

[NKS]

Thanks for checking in guys. So far, everything looks great. My surgeon and radiologist all say this is as close to stage 0 as you can get. It’s a process and I’m literally crippled with constant anxiety, but my surgeon said people with high blood pressure are more likely to die than I am. Every doc I have seen so far (many) have been extremely pleased and positive and reassuring about how you can’t get anything better than this when you’re in this place. But I’m struggling hard to believe them. It’s hard enough, but then add on health anxiety and mentally I am critical. I don’t know how to deal with this when my worst health nightmare that I’ve feared for years comes true. Did I always know this was there and that’s why I was anxious, or did I manifest it with all this energy? I fear the future and feel betrayed by my past. I don’t recognize my life right now.


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[Ms.Honey]

You got this @NKS. Sounds like you’re in good hands.

 

[kammie72]

@NKS So glad to hear from you - I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Such positive news from your doctors - you’ve definitely got this! ((Hugs))

 

[blueberries]

Hi there, I'm so sorry to read about everything you've been going through. I know what a terrifying time this can be, so many unknowns. I think you said you had a u/s guided biopsy and that came back positive. I know the biopsy only removes a tiny piece so will you be scheduled to have a biopsy/lumpectomy to remove the entire area of concern? "As close to stage 0 as you can get" - Did your doctor say it is stage 0 or that it can't be determined for sure until a lumpectomy?

Sorry for the questions I'm asking, just trying to get a clear picture of where you are right now. I was diagnosed with bc 19 years ago, DCIS stage 0, so I understand the fears you are having and the things that are going through your mind. It was one of the most upsetting times of my life and I was sure I had metastatic breast cancer despite doctors telling me I didn't. I went into a severe depression, doctors couldn't believe I was feeling this way.

I had my yearly mammogram last week and am still waiting to hear if I "passed." So I'm kind of in limbo land right now, not knowing if I'm okay or not.

We're all here for you. I know how scary things are right now but believe it or not things will fall into place and you will feel better at some point. Sending you hugs.

 

[E.B]

Thanks for checking in guys. So far, everything looks great. My surgeon and radiologist all say this is as close to stage 0 as you can get. It’s a process and I’m literally crippled with constant anxiety, but my surgeon said people with high blood pressure are more likely to die than I am. Every doc I have seen so far (many) have been extremely pleased and positive and reassuring about how you can’t get anything better than this when you’re in this place. But I’m struggling hard to believe them. It’s hard enough, but then add on health anxiety and mentally I am critical. I don’t know how to deal with this when my worst health nightmare that I’ve feared for years comes true. Did I always know this was there and that’s why I was anxious, or did I manifest it with all this energy? I fear the future and feel betrayed by my past. I don’t recognize my life right now.


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Sounds identical to my mom's. Great great news!

 

[Jennifer]

The best news after the worst news. So happy to hear from you. I hope you'll keep us updated

 

[NKS]

Hi there, I'm so sorry to read about everything you've been going through. I know what a terrifying time this can be, so many unknowns. I think you said you had a u/s guided biopsy and that came back positive. I know the biopsy only removes a tiny piece so will you be scheduled to have a biopsy/lumpectomy to remove the entire area of concern? "As close to stage 0 as you can get" - Did your doctor say it is stage 0 or that it can't be determined for sure until a lumpectomy?

Sorry for the questions I'm asking, just trying to get a clear picture of where you are right now. I was diagnosed with bc 19 years ago, DCIS stage 0, so I understand the fears you are having and the things that are going through your mind. It was one of the most upsetting times of my life and I was sure I had metastatic breast cancer despite doctors telling me I didn't. I went into a severe depression, doctors couldn't believe I was feeling this way.

I had my yearly mammogram last week and am still waiting to hear if I "passed." So I'm kind of in limbo land right now, not knowing if I'm okay or not.

We're all here for you. I know how scary things are right now but believe it or not things will fall into place and you will feel better at some point. Sending you hugs.

Yes, a core biopsy was done. Surgery will be done in a few weeks. It’s stage 1a, because I think stage 0 is if it’s still in the duct? I’m
Not sure. It’s hormone receptive but not her2, so that is also supposed to be the best case scenario. I’m just not trusting anything right now and terrified they’ll later say “oops. Sorry. You’re screwed.”


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[blueberries]

Yes, a core biopsy was done. Surgery will be done in a few weeks. It’s stage 1a, because I think stage 0 is if it’s still in the duct? I’m
Not sure. It’s hormone receptive but not her2, so that is also supposed to be the best case scenario. I’m just not trusting anything right now and terrified they’ll later say “oops. Sorry. You’re screwed.”

Right, stage 0 is still in the duct. Stage 1a is very early and very treatable and hormone receptive is also good, there are more treatments for this. It sounds like you have good doctors and that is one of the most important things in this whole mess. Breast cancer is one of the most widely studied cancers and so much more is known about it than 15-20 years ago.

Of course you are scared, and having health anxiety makes it so much worse You've been given a shock, okay more like an earthquake, but everything will work out as time moves along. Just because your mind goes to the worst case scenario doesn't mean that is where things are headed. The prognosis for your stage is excellent. Just take one step at time (easier said than done) or you will overwhelm yourself with worries. Things will fall into place as they should.

 

[NKS]

Right, stage 0 is still in the duct. Stage 1a is very early and very treatable and hormone receptive is also good, there are more treatments for this. It sounds like you have good doctors and that is one of the most important things in this whole mess. Breast cancer is one of the most widely studied cancers and so much more is known about it than 15-20 years ago.

Of course you are scared, and having health anxiety makes it so much worse You've been given a shock, okay more like an earthquake, but everything will work out as time moves along. Just because your mind goes to the worst case scenario doesn't mean that is where things are headed. The prognosis for your stage is excellent. Just take one step at time (easier said than done) or you will overwhelm yourself with worries. Things will fall into place as they should.

Thank you for the reply. I was told by my surgeon it just started to come out of the duct. It’s very superficial as well. May I ask what treatments were recommended to you? I’m just so overwhelmed and terrified. Part of me thinks “of course this happened. I’ve been waiting for it,” while another has absolutely no idea what the hell is happening and everything looks upside down. I really need to think of this as a mole gone bad—cut it out and move along. Is that even realistic? I can’t live with the constant fear of the Grim Reaper. I have done that nonstop for 10 years now and my only saving grace was that it was “just my crazy brain.” Now, I don’t know if I have that thin lifeline. The anxiety and depression are crippling.


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[blueberries]

Thank you for the reply. I was told by my surgeon it just started to come out of the duct. It’s very superficial as well. May I ask what treatments were recommended to you? I’m just so overwhelmed and terrified. Part of me thinks “of course this happened. I’ve been waiting for it,” while another has absolutely no idea what the hell is happening and everything looks upside down. I really need to think of this as a mole gone bad—cut it out and move along. Is that even realistic? I can’t live with the constant fear of the Grim Reaper. I have done that nonstop for 10 years now and my only saving grace was that it was “just my crazy brain.” Now, I don’t know if I have that thin lifeline. The anxiety and depression are crippling.

Hi - Though nothing is definite until you have a lumpectomy, just coming out of the duct is very early and easy to treat. Sounds like you will just need radiation and possibly tamoxifen. Of course you are feeling overwhelmed. You had other plans in your life for right now and then this nasty surprise came along. I know I was totally terrified when I was told I had bc, I sobbed for days/weeks. It wasn't until I finally found a decent oncologist that could and would answer my questions that I started to feel better about everything. That along with a prescription for Lexarpro as I went into a very deep, crippling depression.

Initially every doctor I saw told me something different, mastectomy, radiation, tamoxifen, no further treatment, all of the above, none of the above. It was very confusing to me. They all told me it was up to me but they didn't give me any guidance. I felt very alone. Like I said I finally hooked up to a good oncologist, her specialty was breast cancer, and she helped immensely. If you have good doctors that is a blessing right there.

Have you been to breastcancer dot org? I haven't been there for quite a while but I just checked in to see if it's still around. It is and they have made a lot of changes since last time I was there. Looks like they are trying to get away from the message boards and trying to be a more medically informative type of site which is too bad because the message boards are great and were so helpful to me when initially diagnosed. They have a board for every stage of cancer and so many more, everything you can think of related to bc. The boards are still there and still very active though, it's just that I think they will be doing away with them at some point.

One thing I wanted to check on was to see if "Bessie" was still there. She was diagnosed at about the same stage as you (it had just broken out of the duct) and she was extremely informative. She posted many, many posts helping and explaining things especially to new people. It looks like she hasn't posted for a couple months though.

You will get through this, it's not easy when you first hear the news. Remember, despite what your health anxiety filled mind tells you, you have not been given a death sentence, what you have is treatable. You will somehow get through this even though it seems like very deep waters right now.

 

[NKS]

Hi - Though nothing is definite until you have a lumpectomy, just coming out of the duct is very early and easy to treat. Sounds like you will just need radiation and possibly tamoxifen. Of course you are feeling overwhelmed. You had other plans in your life for right now and then this nasty surprise came along. I know I was totally terrified when I was told I had bc, I sobbed for days/weeks. It wasn't until I finally found a decent oncologist that could and would answer my questions that I started to feel better about everything. That along with a prescription for Lexarpro as I went into a very deep, crippling depression.

Initially every doctor I saw told me something different, mastectomy, radiation, tamoxifen, no further treatment, all of the above, none of the above. It was very confusing to me. They all told me it was up to me but they didn't give me any guidance. I felt very alone. Like I said I finally hooked up to a good oncologist, her specialty was breast cancer, and she helped immensely. If you have good doctors that is a blessing right there.

Have you been to breastcancer dot org? I haven't been there for quite a while but I just checked in to see if it's still around. It is and they have made a lot of changes since last time I was there. Looks like they are trying to get away from the message boards and trying to be a more medically informative type of site which is too bad because the message boards are great and were so helpful to me when initially diagnosed. They have a board for every stage of cancer and so many more, everything you can think of related to bc. The boards are still there and still very active though, it's just that I think they will be doing away with them at some point.

One thing I wanted to check on was to see if "Bessie" was still there. She was diagnosed at about the same stage as you (it had just broken out of the duct) and she was extremely informative. She posted many, many posts helping and explaining things especially to new people. It looks like she hasn't posted for a couple months though.

You will get through this, it's not easy when you first hear the news. Remember, despite what your health anxiety filled mind tells you, you have not been given a death sentence, what you have is treatable. You will somehow get through this even though it seems like very deep waters right now.

Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate that. I am struggling so much right now. Everything I read is terrifying, basically letting me believe it’s only a matter of time before it comes back and kills me in a year or five or 10. I want to believe it’s a one and done kind of event. I hope the oncologist I’m scheduled to see is great. He was recommended by my GP who used him. I’m just so overwhelmed. I’ll check out that website. I tend to only see the bad/scary stuff so I hope I can accept the more positive stories. I was planning on an embryo transfer when this happened, so I’m at least thankful I found this before because I know pregnancy could have let this get out of control. But dammit! I miss the days infertility and anxiety and depression were my only battles. I have a lot of trouble making it through the day now, and my anxiety is telling me every fear is now real.


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[mollyfin]

I know this is easier said than done, but it might be time to stop reading for a while. Your doctors are the ones who know about YOUR SPECIFIC case; they'll have the info that's relevant to you personally. There's so much that goes into staging and cure potential and all that. (The gyn/onc who did my hysterectomy years ago walked me through the process on a very surface level; it's fascinating stuff but very daunting when you don't really know how to contextualize any of it.) You're just not going to find what you're looking for online, which is something saying "there is absolutely no chance this could recur and potentially kill you." At least, that's basically what I'm always hoping to see when I let myself get caught up in googling.

Also just a reminder that if you don't like this oncologist, it's safe to get a second opinion. You have time for that. I know it can feel like everything needs to be done IMMEDIATELY, but you do have time.

 

[Belizz]

I really need to think of this as a mole gone bad—cut it out and move along. Is that even realistic? I can’t live with the constant fear of the Grim Reaper. I have done that nonstop for 10 years now and my only saving grace was that it was “just my crazy brain.” Now, I don’t know if I have that thin lifeline. The anxiety and depression are crippling.

It is very normal for you to be scared and it's ok don't bash yourself because of it. It's a valid reason to be overwhelmed.
But on the other hand at that stage of your sickness yes you should just treat it as a mole gone wrong as you said, it will be successfully treated.
I have known two people who had BC at that stage, one even stage 2 and their doctors told them to treat it as nothing more than a bad case of flu. One of the drs was a veteran oncologist and he specially asked her not to take it too serious as he believed that it's a way to treat cancer because you let your body know that the battle is already won. Like confidence boost to your cells.
Eat well meanwhile, keep on being active. Ask around for more opinions about immune system related cancer treatments. I know there are a bunch of them around when it comes to BC.
We are here for you, please be strong. This is a win! 1000%

 

[kammie72]

I love this advice. Hugs to you @NKS. I keep thinking of and praying for you. We are here for you!!